I want to marry, but why don’t my parents understand?
Assalamualaikum
I am 25 female single and i want to marry now because i think i should now make my own family but my parents doesnt understand me and they think i still am a baby who doesnt know any thing.
I am tired of being this way. i have a sibling 20 years younger to me and being an elder sister its my duty to take care of them like their 2nd mom..i am afraid to have another sibling i dont know why do i feel bad thinking that way..it sounds selfish but i really dont like to have another sib of my and because of this i am always in a state of fear.i want my parents to understand how i feel.
I feel like i will never get married and all i will always do is bringing up my siblings...i love my siblings too much but i feel if my parents doesnt care of them too much and that is why i am always tensed to keep them safe form any harm.
I feel like my parents doesnt take care of them and it tenses me..i may be wrong but its always me having a check on them if they arent doing something dangerous..i can see my health effecing form the tesion i take i feel weak and some times i feel pain in my chest.
I have anxiety attacs some times i feel difficult to breath..i am such a worried person.. i am tired of feeling such and my parents not understanding me..i dont want to have another sibling i really dont..may Allah forgive me but it makes me cry..
i feel if my whole life will be spent growing my siblings and worrying about them.dont i wish to marry and have my own kids? why cant my parents understand me?
- Butterflygirl
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walaikumassalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu
On September 19, 2012 your post says you are 22 years old and on March 24, 2013 your post says you are 25 . How is that ?
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May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Thanks for noticing that, brother.
Butterfly girl, can you please clarify?
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
That is strange, but could be a typo where she double typed 2 and didn't notice it.
Assalam ualikum if they dont understand talk to them as this is not your job rather your parents...You r supposed to marry and start your life..Tell them its not your duty n u should be married Your house is the one of your husband not this
As Salamu'alaikum sister,
Speak to your mother with an open heart. It may be difficult but your current situation is more difficult than that. Tell her that you are becoming older and want to get married. Look at her reaction. If she is still careless, try talking to your father. If you think you can not, involve someone such as your grandmother or some older person in your family/home. Let them talk to your father about this and listen to what they reply.
If they are careless, then you can ask your grandfather, uncle or some other Mahram to be your Wali and look for a good match for you and he can act as your Wali in Nikah. This way, you will get married with its conditions and approval from the Sharee'ah, in sha Allah.
When you talk to your parents, tell them (or your mother/elder) that you wish to start a family of your own and can not wait longer as a person who reaches puberty is advised to marry as soon as possible.
Try all avenues to convince your parents. If they still show the same attitude, ask your other Mahrams to act as your Wali in place of your father.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor