Will my past affect my future?
Assalamualaikum
Alhamdulillah I am now a practising Muslim. I pray 5 times a day, read Quran, attend study circles etc etc. I am feeling the benefits of Ramadan. However my past is littered with sin. I have had a relationship with a man, although we did not commit zina in the formal sense of the word. I ask Allah for forgiveness and make dua constantly to forgive my sins and keep me away from bad people. When I realised how bad my actions were, I ended the haram relationship abruptly and suddenly. Several times I tried to end the relationship before I actually did but the other person would always draw me back in, saying that he would stop the haram aspect of the relationship and marry me. When it did end, I felt as though he was resentful towards me for doing so, and having spoken to him once after doing this to make him promise that he would not tell anyone, he said that he still has feelings for me. Since then I have not contacted him and have changed my number etc.
Although all this happened last year, I am fearful that he resents me for trying to do the right thing. I am afraid that he will try to sabotage my future. I know that he has pictures of me without my hijab on and with clothing that does not fully cover. At the same time, I think that he will not know anything about my future and can therefore do no harm. By exposing me, he will be exposing himself? Would anyone do this? I know that he is practicing but still fear for what he may do. What do I do? Do I tell him when I am engaged? Do I not contact him ever again?
Your help would be much appreciated.
Jazakallah.
SisM
12 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Wa'alaykumsalam Sister !
You are already aware of the SINS you have committed and you are regretful and you have repented, masha'Allah for that. Keep on repenting all your life as we all should do. And keep on practicing Islam.
Its very unfortunate that you were with this man and he took your picture without hijab and less clothes etc. This is indeed a danger situation you are in. But you did a good thing by changing your number.
Let me warn you, bad men like your ex-BF do not care in exposing themselves normally, they would want to sabotage your future and they would surely put your pics on display. Because men normally do not get emotional about these but woman's life would be in a gutter hole if anything like this happens.
Sister, you should NEVER NEVER NEVER inform him when you get engaged. NEVER inform him of your married date etc. Basically forget him for good and never ever contact him again, because if you contact him again then all your sincere repentance would be of no use. It would not be accepted. As one of the condition of repentance is to, not to do it again. Do not worry, if you are only SINCERE in your repentance Allah will cover your sins.
So I would advice you to try to leave the country you are currently in, if possible, so that man can't hunt you down. And expose your pics in public or maybe to your family or your husband-to-be. Or maybe try to stay in a different city, far far away from him.
Be a great muslimah and Ask Allah to have mercy on you, guide you and help you.
Walaikum salam Sister,
Trust allah, he can do any thing for good ummah. no worries about your past bcoz already its passed. i have plenty of things to share regarding this, im littele bit weak in language. its ok alhamdullah...
is he a muslm or a non muslim.. (Ex BF)
Based on that, i will give you the suggestions.
Regards,
Bro
Do not contact him, good that you changed your number, never ever tell him anything he is not to be trusted. Lets hope he also repents because sooner or later people do have regrets in mistakes they make and fear allah we must. As tricky has this may be you have to be strong and never disclosed or ever tell anyone of your past, main thing is you have repented and came back into the correct path. Only allah can judge you not anyone else.
Do not worry allah will help you every step of the way,also if a rishta comes for you get married asap do not wait. I wish you the best for the future inshallah.
ASSALAM ALAIKUM
plz help me how i can register guid me plz
dear sis,
i may be completely wrong, but if he is now practicing, why dont you two marry and make your relationship halaal( ofcourse thats possible only if he wants to marry you as he has previously not considered it).
you have mashallah donethe right thing to discontinue the relationship but if you have been involved with him, and you then realised the sin you were comitting , and if he didnt catch up with it as you did , he will obviously feel resentful towards you.
if you have cut ties with him completely, then keep it that way, why tell him you are getting engaged or married etc. if you keep yourself to yourself then inshallah he will be out of your life.
Salam,
I am going through a similar situation . my ex tried to approach my fiance and told him about our relationship. worst part is he gave him a minor proof of that . my fiance is willing to forgive me . but i'm afraid he will try to approach him again and show unacceptable stuff ( cards / pictures etc) . and things haven't been well with me and my fiance as it was a forced engagement . now i'm under double pressure because he knows now about my past . i don't know whether i should continue this relationship or not as we haven't been able to bond in the time span of two years and on top of that my ex knows about him and might try to threaten our relationship again in future. please help ! 🙁
Walaikum Salam,
Allahu Akbar,
I dont figure out its all done by muslim guyz.
Dear admin,
I have go through lot of comments in forum, i found great exploration and excellent answer given by bro & sis.
My doubt is "answers" some time not relevant to the issues. In my opinion we should go further more social wise , because im from singapore, when i see around me most of the issues are more common and the taking very easily going. can you advice how should i post my command, whether sarithath way or current socila ways.
Salam. Jazakallah sooo much for all your advice. He Is a Muslim. And when I met him a practising one, which is why I had the intention to marry him. It will not be possible for me to leave the country, as someone suggested, but I am already living in a different city to him, and plan to get married in another. I shall continue to repent and ask Allah to have mercy on me. Like I mentioned, he said that he had deleted the pictures of me. Inshallah he has. I have no reason to believe that he is not practising now, as he was at the time. Are there any duas that I can read? For protection? Forgiveness? This fear is something that I have to live with my whole life, and I still feel afraid that it may regurgitate at any time. Another problem is that he keeps in contact with some family friends of mine...what if they tell him?
Assalam - u - Alaikum , everyone.
(Wa alaykum as-salam sister. I removed your comment and submitted it for you as a separate post. It will be published in turn, Insha'Allah. - Wael, IslamicAnswers.com Editor)
I have been in love with a man for the past six years. Throughout this six years we have had pre marrital sex and performed other acts of sin. Prior to the last year I was not a muslim I only reverted to Islam recently. We are still very much in love and I would like to share my life with this man and add to his deen as he would like to do the same to mine. I havent learnt how to pray or to be forgiven for my sins although he has prayed and repented and fasted and then went on to perform Istikhara to see as to whether we can be together in the future in a pure and proper way. The outcome was negative. My question today is did the acts that we committed bring this answer about? As the aim is to be better, I hope to learn to pray and repent and increase my deen as well as his but there is no other I wish to be with. What do I do?
Rosmin, please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. To give you a brief answer right now, you must end your relationship with this man and absolutely end all physical contact. If you want to be with him then get married. Visit your local mosque (or use online resources) and learn how to pray. Start learning your religion, and do things the right way.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you for the response, I am having difficulty registering. How do i do so?