Were they fair to take my jewellery?
I'm clear about the fact that after a woman's divorce she does not have to return the jewellery she has been gifted by her in-laws at the time of wedding. However, I have a different question. My parents, especially my mother, had gifted me jewellery at the time of my wedding, but demand all of it back since I'm divorced now. I've returned everything back to my mother since it's her presents (they weren't given by my father).
My in-laws have also snatched away all the jewellery they gave me along with everything I owned as well.
My question is whether both of them (my in-laws and my mother) were fair to snatch away all the jewellery? I had nothing else left, not even cash to support myself after the divorce.
skha4885
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salaam
what were you reasons for divorce sister
Salaams,
Gifts of any kind, for any reason, are not meant to be taken back by the giver. It's very bad adab to do so. Any gifts given as a dowry (mahr) are yours to keep, as you stated. I don't know how your in-laws "snatched it back", but they didn't have the right to.
As far as your mom is concerned, she really doesn't have any basis for asking for the jewelry she gave you back either. Usually giving jewelry to a daughter is a gesture of keeping special things in the family, and a mother wouldn't want them back. It sounds like she took them back because she was upset with you for divorcing, even though that doesn't justify her doing so.
What you have to focus on now is, what do you want to do about it? Your jewelry is now in the hands of others, so do you want to try to get it back? Do you want to charge someone with stealing? Do you want to try to let it go and forgive them for their hurtful and unmannerly actions? No matter what you decide, you will still need to move forward with your life and find a way to take care of yourself if no one is going to financially support you. Instead of getting caught up on what's past (unless you intend to demand your right to the jewelry somehow), it's better to focus on where you want to go with your future.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam Sister,
Jazakkallhu Khair for the well advice, Even I learned something from your advice
Fee Aman Allah
Was Salaam!
I thought that there were different rules for when the girl asks for khula and when the husband divorces her himself..
Not sure about this but I thought that if the girl asks for khula then she has to give back to her husband whatever he gave her unless he says she can keep it.
And if its a divorce, where the husband initiated it,...the girl gets to keep whatever she was given..
Am I wrong..? I don't know...but that's what I read somewhere.
I think you should ask a scholar and not just take our word for it as you will be asked about this in the next life.
Salaams,
You are right that in a case of khula, the dowry/mahr must be returned to the husband. However, since Khula wasn't mentioned as having taken place, I answered based on it being a regular divorce as the sister stated.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam Amy,
I know you answered based on her mentioning divorce..But I just wanted to mention Khula because there are a lot of ppl out there who don't know what Khula is..they don't know what Mubara'ah is and so even when the wife has initiated the divorce they will still refer to it as divorce.
That's all:)
TC