Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Confused – why won’t they accept me?

lonely man, losing her,

Hi I am putting my matter here.

I am European Muslim born to Pakistani father. I am in love with a Pakistani girl who is my Class fellow. I want to marry her. She also loves me but she always says that her family will never agree for me. Can someone please tell me that why her family will not agree for me???????????? Because I am European?? I am Muslim! My father was Pakistani, Mother is European. I am very upset. I can't live without her, I will take her with me in Europe for further studies and make her a proud lady for her family and country but I am upset will it be happen?

kenzema


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8 Responses »

  1. Well, parents have choise to whom they want to wed their children to. This is the reason why mixed race relationship have problems and people should stick within their own communities.

    • Or....people could learn to be open minded. May Allah swt make us all open minded and less egotistic inshallah ameen advice to myself first

    • I am sorry, mixed race relationships have problems, and people who marry within their culture have perfect marriages??

      That is crazy, please think about it before posting. The prophet himself said all Muslims are equal, please don't preach something else about marrying within just because of your limited views!

      Brother please don't listen to this, this is the same backwards views the parents probably have.

  2. Salaam Brother,

    I understand your frustration at trying to understand the thinking of people from south asian countries.

    As you have been born and brought up in Europe you have an open mind because of how you were brought up and because of the environment you live in.

    Most of the people of India / Pakistan / Bangladesh are not so open minded and don't trust people of other countries / race/ society so easily. They feel safe and content with mingling and growing their relations in their own culture.

    Although it is Islamically incorrect for them to refuse marriage to you because you are a muslim and if you are practicing and good muslim, that should be reason enough to get their daughter married to you.

    Anyway the reality is culture plays a very very important role in the decisions that people from those countries make. Except a rare few people. most of them do not deviate from what is the norm in their culture.

    In that culture the girl doesn't refuse the decision of her parents and will do anything to keep her parents even if it means marrying whoever her parents choose for her as her husband.

    So, you or your parents can try and convince her parents to get her married to you but it will be very difficult.

    It's better you forget about her and find another girl who will be better for you. It might seem like this girl is the one for you, but you have to let go of your feelings and make dua to Allah that you find a better girl than her.

    May Allah give you a good spouse.

  3. I don't see anything wrong with you . I am curious too why would her parents refuse to accept you .maybe she is trying to tell you something here it's about her not her parents ask her openly and you will get the answer .

    • Suni: maybe she is trying to tell you something here it's about her not her parents ask her openly and you will get the answer .

      They both love each other.

  4. OP: I am in love with a Pakistani girl who is my Class fellow. I want to marry her. She also loves me but she always says that her family will never agree for me. Can someone please tell me that why her family will not agree for me???????????? Because I am European?? I am Muslim! My father was Pakistani, Mother is European.

    Pakistanis have hard time trusting other Pakistanis, that is one reason they prefer to marry their kids to first cousins.

  5. If she does not want to fight for you brother, then she doesn't love you.

    Meet her parents if you can and ask for her hand in person, if they refuse. Just cut off all communication. Because if she can't stand up to her parents or give you a good reason..then you are just wasting your time and energy.

    Find someone who will accept you now, and their parents are also okay with you...because you will have a lifetime of inlaw issues if they truly don't like you for whatever reason.

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