Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Converting to Muslim

Hi. I have a question that is in my mind for quite some time. And I was hoping that you can help.

I'm a non-Muslim. In fact, my family is Chinese born.

I'm married, and had 3 children. The eldest is already 16 years old, and the youngest is 12 years old. I had been married for almost 20 years. My husband is a religious person. In fact, he is kind of a racist person. Me and my kids don't really like his attitude. For the past two years, we had a lot of arguments and family issues going on.

Now my concern is, I have a lot of Muslims friends. I feel good being together with them. And I learn quite a lot of things about Islam and Muslims. But somehow my husband was unhappy about this. He is sensitive about me having them as friends, and I'm close with them.

Recently, for the past 2 to 3 months, I had been searching and reading a lot regarding Islam and Muslims. I studied what and how the Muslims live their lives. I felt comfortable and calm. The more I do into it, the more I have the urge to convert to Muslim. But the big issue starts here...

My husband is a religious person. How can I convert to Muslim when my family are non-Muslim?

I consulted my Muslim colleague. He asked me these questions. " What are you going to do if you convert to Muslim?" "What is going to happen to your husband and children?" "Are you willing to leave them if you have Allah in your heart, and go ahead to convert to Muslim?"

These questions are struggling in my head. Me and my colleague, we both say the same thing - It is Allah who pass these messengers to my colleague, and wanted him to pass them to me.

Me and my this colleague, we both share the same views most of the time. We will share and give each other advice. And now when we are talking about these Muslims' stuffs, we both have the same strong feeling that Allah is testing we both.

I hereby really hope that this website can help to answer my questions.

Many thanks and regards


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7 Responses »

  1. Slm ma. I will help in praying for you since you want to convert to the religion of peace. And please pray over it too since your heart want to go to it. May Allah guides you Amin. I will be here for you anytime once you convert in Shaa Allah.

  2. SALAM SISTER! I am also a revert we say not a convert! Your husband is not a strong muslim because muslims are soft and gentle and fear Allah at all times.The problem with the muslim world and all its troubles is Iman. A lack of devotion and concentration.The scholors say less then 5% pray salah and out of the 5% less then 1%pray with concentration and devotion. So how is it possible to have are duas excepted??My sister learn deen correctly.Build you Iman.You should be a sunni muslim who follows 1 of the 4 major schools of thought for your safety.I had study for many years and my wife is a scholor.So the point is make sure you ask many questions from the learned to know if it makes sence or not and go with your own opion because Islam is natural its not hard..Mind you shaitan will try his best to keep you in doubt or through people who seem smart but lack the practice.(lip service ) Also be attached to the mosque and sisters thats your protection (enviroment) Your husband needs to know this a women has more rights in Islam then a man.His job is to maintain you cloth Shelter feed etc....The sunni scholors and the 4 major imams are a agreement no doubt.In the life of Muhammad he never physically verbally abuse anybody (fact). We have to take lesson from this because he is our role model and that link to Allah .Who so loves Muhammad has indeed loved Allah.My advice ! do whats best write a letter if you have too explain how you feel.Let him know how shaitan only wants us to be apart and fight.Because this is shaitans job to give dawat 24hrs.Inviting man to sin in everyway.Sometimes we dont even know that someone put blk magic or some evil eye apon us.So we should read manzil or download the app from the app store and listen to it daily until there is comfort in body mind sleep etc.....But if your conditions are not changing dont burden yourself there are alternatives.Please learn quran it has somany benifits and virtues.It will be your protection at times of hardship .So learn to read and master your salah also and the preconditions for salah like basic wudu.Just keep it simple but be consistantly.Remeber your a diamond who just came out of the rough .It needs to be pollished! take care.

  3. Salam. It is Allah's blessing that you want to revert to Islam. Please keep in mind that in the end, you are going to be with your sins or good deeds alone. Imagine standing infront of Allah on the day of judgment and he asks you that I put Islam in your mind and heart and you still did not come to my path? Can you say it was because of my husband and kids? You will not have a good answer to give him. I do understand the pressure but sister, at the end of the day, its your life and your faith and your destiny. Do not choose anyone else over Allah. May Allah make this decision easier for you. Ameen.

    • Hi.. thanks for reply. Your message you sending here, did appear in my mind recently.

      For the pass few weeks, during bedtime, I found myself talking/pray to Allah from inside my heart. This talking/praying, it just come naturally. It was like someone calling and telling me that I should try talking with Allah what is in my mind, and asking Allah to guide me. My colleague also tell me that I should try talking to Allah from my heart (since I cannot pray at home). And soon, I found myself doing that - talking and praying to Allah from inside my heart. And amazingly, after a few times that I was doing all these, I found myself feeling more peaceful, and I can feel that Allah is answering my to my prayer!!

      Every night during bedtime, I would ask for Allah's forgiveness, telling him that I cannot do prayer at home due to my conditions at home. And I know Allah can hear me. I can feel that. And I would pray to Allah that He guide me to the right path, and make it easy for me.

      And true enough, I do fear Allah that he will not forgive me, because, like what you mentioned - I put Islam in your mind and heart and you still did not come to my path.

      I have this strong feeling that Allah is helping me alot. But He only give out slow. I know Allah is testing me, testing my heart.. 🙂

  4. I just want to clear one thing. If you revert to Islam you will have to leave your husband but not your kids. You can still raise your kids and even if your husband doesn't let you keep kids you still get to meet them and who knows your children might learn about this beautiful deen from you. Stay strong, you are choosen by Allah for this difficult task.

    • Hi.. thanks for your reply 🙂

      In my heart, I already know Allah had given me this task to test my patience, and my heart.

      I guess I got the message already... 🙂

      Looking forward to this special day... 🙂

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