Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My boyfriend is marrying someone else

Feeling deceived

Hello,

My boyfriend and I started our relationship in 2015. He is a Muslim boy and I am Hindu girl, I asked him several times will this work out he told he can do anything for me and made me talk to his sisters as a girlfriend and parents as a friend. We were having a great relationship where everyone wonders. He was so caring and lovable, and I always felt so lucky to have him in my life. We stayed together almost for 4 years and he introduced me to everyone as his wife.

When my parents started getting marriage proposals, he asked me to ignore and wait for him. A few months later, due to a family issue, my parents separated, and he has been as a backbone to me and asked me to register marriage to him, but I rejected as I wanted it to happen with parents permission.

However, things have changed now in his family... they introduced a girl to him and he wants to marry that girl for his family sake. He still told me to wait for him because he is not happily marrying her. So, he wanted to marry and come back to me as like we are. Now, suddenly he is asking me to move on. I always dreamt my life living with him, and he feels like he's cheating the girl he gonna marry whenever he touches me.

I don't know what to do with my life. Earlier, I was attached to him only mentally, but in recent days I am attached with him physically and mentally. I couldn't come out of him. I asked him will he be happy after his marriage but he told he will miss me each and every day. How can I leave him and live? I feel like both girls life is also spoiling here. We both didn't do any sin, one side she is dreaming about her marriage with him and I am dying here daily for him. I really don't understand what his thoughts are about. When I ask him to speak he is ready to do so. Please suggest me to live my life.

Sarah

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4 Responses »

  1. He has very weak personality. He does not has courage to talk to his family firmly. Leave him period. This kind of man never stand by their love. They always make lame excuses for the escap. Put soo lanat on him and on his love. Find someone else who is not only man who behaves like a man. Good luck

  2. He's trying to eat his cupcake and at the same time hold onto another. He is cheating on both of you via emotional cheating. Hindu and Muslim can not marry, the boy has been lying to you about marriage or was hoping to keep it a secret. He may have wanted to marry you at one point but he has clearly moved on and it's time for you aswell. The fact you know his parents and family etc and they still encourage him to marry another girl just shows that you're not what they think you are. He is not trust worthy and has no integrity. He lies, he doesn't practice his religion and he emotional cheats. Why do you want someone like that.

  3. Dear sister,
    I dont normally comment but your post resinates with me on a level for i was in exaclty your position a few years ago. I wish i had listened to all the advices given to me, and was strong enough to walk away and know i deserver better.
    As hard as it is to belive, had this man really wanted to marry you, he would not have choosen or agree to marry anouther girl. If he loved you enough, as you said you already spoke to his sisters/parents, all he had to do was be honest and give you that respect, and tell his parents.
    How can he feel he is cheating a girl who he doesnt love, or says he wont be happy, but doesnt feel he is cheating you? after being with you for so many years and promises?
    best thing you can do, as hard as it is,
    is walk away. please, cut contact, by remaining in contact, you will not only be breaking your heart, but spoiling life of this girl, who is innocent in all this.
    if he wants to marry you, nothing will stop him
    he wants best of both worls, is this the type of husband you want? one who is willing to marry a girl , say he wont be happy in marrigae, but cant be with you for he feels he is cheating her and then says "move on" and then says still wants to be with you after marriage? will he not feel he is cheating her then?
    I know your heart is breaking, and it will take time to recover, but please make this decision for yourself and realise you desevere so much morethan to be someones seconds.

  4. Hi, dear
    To help you understand truly Islam. The young man you were dating was wrong on his part because he's muslim, he could never marry you because you are not muslim or from the people of the book jew or christian . It's against Islam for a man or woman to marry a ploytheist. Before either party could consider marriage, the ploythetist must become muslim. He should had let you know and not have mislead you. This is not your fault, in Islam you are forbidden for him, unless you become muslim or are jew or a christian. Try reading about Islam so you can protect yourself from being used.

    Here's some information that might help
    Islam Question & Answer

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    A Muslim is in love with a Hindu girl and wants to marry her
    21-09-2002

    Question 8015
    I have a muslim friend who is in love with a hindu girl.his family being orthodox wont accept this.would it be a sin if i help my friend in getting married with that girl?.
    Answer
    Praise be to Allaah.
    It is not permissible for a Muslim to marry any non-Muslim woman unless she is one of the people of the Book, i.e., a Jewish or Christian woman. If he does that then his marriage is invalid; that is adultery, not marriage; and he is a sinner who is committing a major sin.

    The evidence for that is the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Made lawful to you this day are At‑Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends”

    [al-Maa’idah 5:5]

    So Allaah has permitted the believing men to marry chaste believing women and chaste women from among the People of the Book.

    Imam al-Tabari said, commenting on this verse:

    “and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time” this means free woman from among those who were give the Scripture, i.e., the Jews and Christians who follow the Tawraat (Torah) and Injeel (Gospel). “Before your time” O believers in Muhammad from among the Arabs and all of mankind. You may marry them also “when you have given their due Mahr” i.e., when you give the mahr or dowry to those whom you marry from among your (Muslim) chaste women or their chaste women.

    Tafseer al-Tabari, 6/104

    It is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Magian (Zoroastrian), Hindu, communist or idol-worshipping woman, etc. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you…”

    [al-Baqarah 2:221]

    Based on this, it is not permissible for you to help him to disobey Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression”

    [al-Maa'idah 5:2]

    You should advise him to call her to Islam and explain to her that Allaah has forbidden him to marry her unless she becomes Muslim. If she becomes Muslim, then he can marry her, but if she insists on continuing to follow her religion, then he should fear Allaah and not marry her, and he should be patient in doing so; then Allaah will compensate him with something better, for “Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better.”

    We ask Allaah to guide us to the straight path and to keep us from slipping.

    And Allaah knows best.

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