I haven’t got anything I asked Allah for, please help me
There is a solution to every problem
Assalamu alaikum...
I really don't know what to do... I haven't got anything that I wanted from Allah... I'm feeling so much depressed and sometimes I feel not to move on... Even I sometimes I feel so depressed that I leave my prayers thinking that my prayers aren't getting accepted... what should I do??
Please don't tell me things like... I should sabr more and more... really... I can't ... I'm broke everyday... man can go on with at least a little hope... but I'm not finding any... its about 7-8 years till I got any success in my life... every time i breakdown... I pray and hope and think Allah will give me something good in sha Allah... but now... after so much loss... so much defeat... I can't move on... I just can't ...
I used to love a girl... I don't know if I still love her or not... it was about 4 years ago I met her...I lost many things in these 4 years, but thought I got her and I can move on... about 1 year ago we had a fight and she told me to wait for her for 1 year... but 2weeks ago I came to know she went in a relationship with another guy... tell me?? what should I expect from my life??
I prayed everyday to Allah for her... not as my girlfriend... as my wife for this world and after life... I even didn't lose my virginity though I had my opportunity because I believed she is mine and Allah will give her to me... but now... what?? tell me?? I break down everyday... then I think again something will good happen to me... I can't move on... I can't... I'm lost... I wanna move on... please... help me...
I feel betrayed everyday... everyday I just let go...and the feelings of betrayal comes back... I want to forgive her... but i can't... I dunno if my soul ever can forgive her... and is the phrase "whats goes around comes around" exists?? I dunno why I'm asking this... I know I shouldn't expect anything bad for anyone... but just my soul is not accepting this...
please help me
~ rmortuza
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Yous seem to be a good person somebody has played with your emotions.
Pls don't worry . Carry onn dude. What is that you do ? Job Studying?
rmortuza, As-salamu alaykum,
You say you haven't received anything you prayed for. It sounds to me like you are praying for the wrong thing.
You are praying to be married to a woman who lied to you and then got involved with another man. Do you really think that Allah will grant such a prayer? Allah will not respond to your dua' by giving you something that is bad for you. He will only give you something that will be good for you in your dunya and aakhirah.
Pray to Allah and say, "O Allah, grant me a wife who is righteous and loyal, and who will live with me in mutual respect, and love, and happiness, and will benefit me in my dunya and aakhirah." Keep making this dua', and accept whoever Allah sends to you, rather than fixating on this one woman.
Going beyond the issue of marriage, I don't know anything about your life, but in general, Allah will help those who strive. You can't sit around feeling sorry for yourself, complaining that life has not turned out as you hoped.
You know what? Neither did mine. Many people experience severe setbacks and disappointments in life, myself included. But I kept struggling, and trying one thing after another, until I found some measure of success relatively late in life, Alhamdulillah.
I hear you saying, "I can't, I can't." That word is not allowed in my household. Whenever my daughter says, "I can't", I tell her, "I don't want to hear that word from you. Find a way to do it." And she does... and then I tell her, "You see? The only thing holding you back was the word 'can't'".
When we say have sabr, it doesn't mean just wait, watching time like an hourglass. It means keep struggling, working, moving forward one step at a time. Stay positive, have faith, exercise, eat well, study, help others as much as possible, and trust that Allah will bring goodness into your life.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
"I hear you saying, "I can't, I can't." That word is not allowed in my household. Whenever my daughter says, "I can't", I tell her, "I don't want to hear that word from you. Find a way to do it." And she does... and then I tell her, "You see? The only thing holding you back was the word 'can't'"."
Thats great Wael, I love it!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
it is easy to say but hard to do...............................life become deadly..........................some times
salamualaikum,
Brother, this life belongs to Allah. And we have exchanged it for the Jannah.
In Surah al A'raf, Allah says:
And (remember) when your Lord brought forth from the Children of Adam, from their loins, their seed (or from Adam's loin his offspring) and made them testify as to themselves (saying): "Am I not your Lord?" They said: "Yes! We testify," lest you should say on the Day of Resurrection: "Verily, we have been unaware of this."
Allah has taken our lives in exchange for Jannah. Allah said:
“To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return.” (Surah Al Baqarah 2:156)
Allah Has Created us so that we Worship Him, as He says in another place in the Quran. This is our primary objective. And our final aim is Jannah. There's a Hadith that mentions the last person to enter Jannah:
"The last person to enter paradise will be a man who will alternately walk, stagger and be touched by the Fire.
Once he has passed out of the Fire, he will turn to face it and say, "Blessed be He Who has saved me from you. Allâh (swt) has given me something that He did not give to the earlier and later generations. Then a tree will be raised up for him, and he will say, "O my Rabb, bring me closer to this tree so that I may enjoy its shade and drink of its water".
Allâh (swt) will say, "O son of Aadam perhaps if I grant you this, you will ask Me for something else?" He will say, "No, O Rabb, I promise that I will not ask for anything else". Allâh (swt) will excuse him because he is seeing something that he has no patience to resist so he will bring him closer and he will enjoy its shade and drink its water. Then another tree, better than the first, will be raised up for him and he will say, "O my Rabb, bring me near to this tree so that I may drink its water and enjoy its shade, then I will not ask you for anything more".
Allâh (swt) will say, "O son of Aadam did you not promise Me that you would not ask me for anything else? Perhaps if I bring you closer to this tree you will ask for more?" So the man will promise not to ask for any more, and Allâh will excuse him because he is seeing something that he has no patience to resist, so He will bring him closer and he will enjoy its shade and drink its water. Then a third tree will be raised up at the gate of paradise, and it will be better than the first two. The man will say, "O My Rabb, bring me closer to this [tree] so that I may enjoy its shade and drink its water, and I will not ask for anything more." Allâh will say, "O son of Aadam, did you not promise Me that you would not ask Me for anything more?" He will say, "Yes, O Rabb, I will not ask you for anything more."
His Rabb, may He be glorified, will excuse him because he is seeing something which he has no patience to resist, so He will bring him closer. When he is brought close, he will hear the voices of the people of Paradise, and will say, "O my Rabb, admit me to it." Allâh (swt) will say, "O son of Aadam what do you want so that you will never ask Me for anything else? Will it please you if I give you the world and as much again?" He will say, "O Rabb, are You making fun of me when You are the Rabb al-Aâlamîn?" Ibn Mas'oud smiled and said, "Why do you not ask me why I am smiling?"
They asked, "Why are you smiling?" He said, "Because the Messenger of Allâh (saw) smiled".
They asked, "Why are you smiling, O Messenger of Allâh (saw)?" He said, "Because the Rabb of the Worlds will smile when He is asked, "Are You making fun of me when You are the Rabb of the Worlds?" He will say, "I am not making fun of you, but I am able to do whatever I will""".
[Muslim]
This is for the last person to enter Jannah. Then what about the first?
"O Allah! I ask you in this Blessed month, Make me among those who shall enter your Jannah without having to be exposed to the Fire, among those who enter the Jannah with the Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam among the first people"
Aameen
Brother, Allah Created us so that we worship Him. He said:
“And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans, except they should worship Me (Alone).” (Adh-Dhariyat: 56)
My brother, this life belongs to Allah and He shall do whatever He is Pleased with. He said:
Verily, Allah has purchased of the believers their lives and their properties for (the price) that theirs shall be the Paradise. (Tawbah:111)
But If does what is good for us. We do not know what is good for us, but He Knows Best. You might have been asking for the wrong thing, as brother Wael said. Allah says:
But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. (Baqarah, Aayah 216)
Then why should we despair of Allah's Mercy? allah says in Surah az Zumar, Aayah 53:
Say: "O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
So, do not despair. And do not be toe those who are not thankful to Allah.
We belong to Allah, and we Worship Him Alone. Whatever He gives us, we accept. Whatever He keeps us away from, we thank Him for it. He Knows Best, what is good for us and what is not.
My brother, just leave the worries of this World. Your aim is Jannah, so strive for it. Seek Help from Allah with Patience and prayers. And be among the Mu'minoon. Allah mentions the signs of the Mu'minoon thus in surah mu'minoon:
1. Successful indeed are the believers.
2. Those who offer their Salat (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness.
3. And those who turn away from Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk, falsehood, and all that Allah has forbidden).
4. And those who pay the Zakat.
5. And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)
6. Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame;
7. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors;
8. Those who are faithfully true to their Amanat (all the duties which Allah has ordained, honesty, moral responsibility and trusts etc.) and to their covenants;
9. And those who strictly guard their (five compulsory congregational) Salawat (prayers) (at their fixed stated hours).
10. These are indeed the inheritors.
11. Who shall inherit the Firdaus (Paradise). They shall dwell therein forever.
The life of this World is just a test and the result is either Jannah or Jahannam. So, isn't is wise to have patience and Hope for Allah's Mercy? The Jannah, when a Mu'min sees it, will feel as though if as not seen any calamity in this life, as a Hadith states. Will you not work towards this, rather than worry about what has been lost?
May Allah Help you and me
Aameen
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaams,
There is one thing you said that I found most troubling in your entire post. It was:
"I even didn't lose my virginity though I had my opportunity because I believed she is mine and Allah will give her to me... but now... what??"
The way this reads, it almost sounds like you are saying you regret keeping your virginity. As if you wished you had lost your virginity if you had some way of knowing that things would've turned sour with the girl in question.
Brother, astaghfirullah. I really hope this is not the way you meant it. You should be preserving your chastity out of sincere taqwa, not because it gives you leverage to get the girl you want.
Here is the truth, and it is the truth not just for you or me, but for all of us...for all of humanity:
If you had nothing...no home, little food to survive on, and your body was riddled with disease and incredible pain, and you could not even move or take care of yourself or work to make money; and you were poor, single, and alone....and there was nothing in this life to indicate any of that would ever change....but you still had faith, and still tried to reach for Allah even in that state as best you were able---do you know you would have so much more than millions of people in this world?? Do you know how much simple and true faith in the One True God- Allah, is worth? It is worth all of paradise, my friend.
In the true reality of things, there are many people who have so many nice things, and lives of ease, money, beautiful people in their lives, etc etc etc...but in their hearts is nothing but pride and delusion. They have no faith, no conscience, and no thought for their hereafter. They are going to lose out on the most important thing, the very thing they are here (like all of us) to be tested for.
Brother, chase after sincere iman in Allah alone. Chase it with all your might, and don't let any of these dunya distractions entice you away from that. Don't let your nafsani emotions derail you from the true goal you were created for.
Whoever loves this dunya and is pleased by it, then he should know that love of the akhira is leaving their heart because the two cannot co-exist in one heart. -Al-Hasan Al-Basree
This dunya is like a shadow. If you try to catch it, you will never be able to do so. If you turn your back towards it, it has no choice but to follow you. - Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah
Think about those statements, and try to get your focus back on track. Insha'Allah then you will see what really matters, and what really needs your efforts.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
i think what this brother meant by not loosing his virginity, is that he restrained himself despite having the chance and hoped that Allah will grant him his wishes in a halaal way.
dear brother,
mashallah thats the quality of a good muslim. prophet yousef had a trail like that as well.
mashallah brother you are so strong , you could control the most untammed instinct at a time of temptation. not many can do that ( including women let alone man). so be proud of yourself. thats a big acheivment. Allah is with you, He helped you get rid of someone , who was not good for you.
when you feel low and questions like why me? etc come to your mind just this to yourself again and again
everything happens by the will of Allah( so there is nothing that you could have done to change the outcome)
allah is saying to us in quran
' you may thing something is good for you but its not and you may think something is bad for you but its not, and allah knows and you dont'
keep saying this to yourself , its a comfort from Allah .
also read surah alamnashrah with meaning
' with every difficulty comes ease'
its difficult when a loves one goes away . when hazarat khadija(RA) passed away prophet mohammed was very sad but he said 'indeed Allah has meant good for me in it'
inshallah with this faith that allah means only good for you, you will regain strength to move on.
just leaving for prayers will make dua for you, May allah make it easy for you and give you happiness from where you did not even imagined.
look after yourself my brother. leave the matter in Allah's hands, she is at loss as she has lost a loving , loyal husband , who is honest and trust worthy and wanted to give respect to her by marrying her.
Absolutely loved your compassionate, beautifully worded response full of wisdom to this brother's predicament. May Allah ta'lla grant you Jaza e khair for it and i pray that every Muslim be as enlightened and willing to look for the good, the positive in others just like yourself...specially at a time like this, when they are at their absolute lowest. Aameen
I have gone through years of trauma in my life. I have experienced a lot. I have spent days without sleep and have gone days without food. I have seen hatred, I have seen heartbreak, I have seen loved ones die and I have seen loved ones wishing for death. And yet I believe in God, I believe in Allah because I know I don't have anything in this world, I don't possess anything but I don't want anything because I have Allah in my life.
I have seen His miracles. I have seen His majesty. His wrath and His love. I pray and I ask Him for peace and love. I know that the good in me hasn't died because of Him. I know He exists and I know He listens to me. Asking Him for worldly and material things isn't the way to go. Ask Him for peace, ask Him to make you be happy in whatever condition you're in.
I thank God for this life because it is whatever I make of it. I thank God for whatever He has given me. I thank Him for not leaving my side when I had no one.
When you say you don't have any success in life you should take a step back and reevaluate. Look at what you're doing. Look at yourself. You're here, accepting that there is a power greater than you and any other power conceivable to man. You want Allah in your life and that makes you a success. That makes you better than many people in this world.
Salam brother
This just brought tears to my eyes. We sometimes get so blurred by the difficulties of this dunya that we forgot we have the greatest gift of all, and that is Faith in Allah (S.W). Thank you for the reminder
Abbas, what a profound and heartfelt comment. Thank you so much. I hope you will continue to share your thoughts on this website, Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Absolutly beautiful Abbas! I have just saved what you have written to re-read whenever i feel defeated or lack motivation. Thank you for your post it has truly touched me. i pray tha Allah accepts your duaas and grants you health, happiness, love and sucess
salam
I agree Allah is always there.But what I can not stand is hypocrite people.Who do soo many things wrong like cheating and then pray as well.So they expect Allah to help them when they go against every rule Allah has set
salamou alaykoum,
you should thank Allah (swt) for NOT GIVING YOU IT. I will tell you why.
“And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (AI-Baqarah, 2:216)
I prayed to marry a man I found out four years later he was wickedly evil. I thank Allah for not letting it happen.
I now met a man, Mashallah, it is like he is form heaven. alhamdulillah. he didn't give me something that was bad for me and brought me someone that is good for me. alhamdulillah.
be grateful and TRUST IN ALLAH.
Asalamoalaikum,
For the brother who wrote in to us and for all those who ask “Why aren’t my duaas getting accepted” or “Why don’t I get what I want”, a sister known as Yasmin Mogahed has mashAllah given a well articulated answer to these questions.
It really helped me when I used to ask “Why”. Her lecture is on youtube so I will paste it below for all of you to benefit from, inshAllah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8gw7x8huPY
-Helping Sister
Salamu Alaikum brother,
You seem to be very disturbed, but really you think Allah does not care about your prayers or you? this girl u wanted to marry sure did not deserve you, I know someone who was in a similar situation and he was feeling so bad. the girl he loved pretended like she was forced to marry someone else, he was like nearly dying, but just after sometimes he got information on her real character and saw her real face, the girl had many affairs in the past and she played with him all that time, Now he is very thankful and very religious too he even behaves in a better way with family and friends. I think Allah cares about you and he has answered your prayers, you should be thankful brother and you will know maybe like ten years from now why things happened the way they happened. It is impossible you call Allah for help and he ignore you, be sure about that.
We all experience not getting what we ask Allah for...but in my experience, there's always been a very good reason for it. Alhamdulellah for everything :).
Seriously? You're depressed over a girl? Maybe it's because I'm not the sentimental type, or because I'm a sceptic, or whatever, but I have never understood how people can get depressed over "lost love". So you loose someone you like...big deal, you move on and find someone else. Someone who's right for you. Why waste tears and grief on a person who's wronged you?
The only people you can't replace are your parents and siblings, and your children. But a spouse can always be replaced. Thank God. Imagine being forced to stay in an abusive relationship...or in a relationship where there's infidelity.
Well what if you loved that person so much and you gave them your everything, your time, your happiness and like literally everything and in return they just spoke bad about you to your friends but you really like that person and no matter what nasty and mean things they say to you and how much you have cried you still care for them and love them
ASSALAMO ALAIKUM
I JUST WANT TO SAY MAY ALLAH HELP YOU.ANIN
First of all it is forbidden to keep such relations before marriage. So brother you disobeyed Islam there. Then fine, we are all humans. You never know what is in store. Perhaps you will get way better or reward in Akhirah. Everythingnhere is temporary and the world is a test which now you have seen. Enjoy life, party hard but pray and ask Allah for help and leave the past behind.
"Party hard"? What does that mean?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalaamualaikam
Wasn't that the name of a song back in the early 2000s? I think it meant to go out and get drunk while jumping around with equally drunk people...
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Everyone broken my trust, played with my feelings ,life. . I want to die. . pls help me
Asalam-o-alaokum eeryone :') i aint a scholar or a very religious person. And i feel that we are no one to judge whos religious and who's not. my freind, Murtaza. I can relate your feelings clearly. I know it feels like dying and i know it feels like * no one cares * but belive me. You'll cry, maybe self harm, or not eat, or maybe unfreind everyone and stuff. i wont stop you from this cause its you who's suffering and we are no one to tell you to stop cause its not hurting us. Just pray to Allah to make that girl reealise her mistake. come back to you. Who knows maybe Allah wants her to truly find and make sure that you are the perfect one and you care. Like no one else cares. And then she'll come to you better tha anytime. And Allah will make everything go smooth and u'll life the marriage life just like Quran says. respect and love. Always be or anyone positive in life. Allah loves you more than 70 mothers. And even our own mother can not see our tears. will Allah tallah ever feel like making u cry? When a true beliveer cries or anyone cries for Allah's help. The whole of 7 skies shake and the angels go in greif and Allah loves you more than anyone. We need to love Allah and Allah will do the rest my buddy. Just dont stop telling her that u wait. Not to much but atlest to the extent where she doesnt feels like you arre no more caring. I belive i made myself clear. May Allah help you and make the girl you want your wife and Whatevr Allah does is best for sure :') Allah knows the best :')
Allah my husband is going thru alot of problem!
Pls help him in getting a good job and be very successful in life.
Allah pls help him and our family as we going thru alot of problem!
Trust u and hoping for everythng to be fine !
Oh Allah, help Tanweer's husband to find a good job and be successful in the dunya and aakhirah. Strengthen his resolve, grant him and his wife patience to weather this difficulty, and grant them times of ease and comfort.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
My name is saif ullah my problem is I got 442 marks in 9th board exam then I cancelled maths paper I work hard to got 450 marks but in result I see my result I got 438 marks now pleaseee help me
Dear friend i know it's hurt so much but you know that how much allah love you he created you with so much love and my friend it's not allah mistake it's that girl mistake or maybe there something going in her mind too in her life too my friend don't you see how much allah love you that he Show's you that the girl don't love you or she is seeing someone else see
how much allah cares for you see he listen ll your words all your prayer all your pain i know you are in so much depressed but all are too because this is dunya and allah knows what you don't know i know you have no power anymore too hold this pain everymore but please my dear friend hold a little more and cry infront of allah and ask forgiveness and if she really do that with you than allah is the rightest and we are Allah's slave allah take care for us if you wanna cry if you you wanna share your than my dear friend call out allah between 2am to 4am and cry infront of allah and our dearest nabi and beleive remember how much allah loves you he is still waiting for you he created you when you call he listen to you he have patience with you and all of us remember your past time when you feel alone when you feel depressed when you truly want someone to hold you at that time no one but allah listen your voice your pain allah feel sad too but he know that he has too purify your soul by test if you wanna continue with that girl than pray allah because if you keep knocking on a human door again again than he open atleast one time if if he not loves you so thing allah loves you so much his love is beyound our imagination so allah fulfill all our dreams who say all dua are not accepted all dua which have your right or the righteous dua are accepted if you believe and dua like our nabi by true heart and if you can't patience than go and make dua and not wake up from sajda till your wish come true my dear friend i know it's too much hard i know you can't but please hold your self and dua for forever jannat spend your time with allah and your parents because after allah and nabi there are parents who are true in this cruel world and watch videos of the prophet path allah love you and all of us and that's the most beautiful and powerfull things in all the universe and i am sorry if i hurt you but don't lose hope please hold your self and cry infront of allah and take care of yourself
Love God only , so he forces everything to love you