Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I don’t want my arranged husband

Love marriage or arranged marriage?

Hello. I am going to turn 20 this year and by the end of this year is my rukhsati. I am married since 2016 but due to his education rukhsati was postponed.

The guy is my father's sister son. Since childhood they wanted to marry us and I never wanted to marry him. But somehow due to pure act of fate here I am in his nikkah.

I was 14 when I fell in love with someone else but my love is one sided and the person even does not know that I love him this is also one of the reasons  never wanted to marry him. Now in past 2 years I tried many times to love him but I simply failed.

I have said to my father I don't want him. My father is asking to try but problem is even the thought of him touching me makes me want to burn myself alive I feel disgust. So I am thinking to tell him directly that I do not want him and I want divorce. My father does not know that I love some one else.

So.........any suggestions?

-Aisharida

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5 Responses »

  1. Salam sis, think about this properly, read dua, pray istikara, i once took a hasty decision in a situation related to marriage,and im regretting it ever since, (been a few years), ask Allah for help, marriage is really difficult dont do anything that you would regret.
    Hope everything works out.

  2. Assalaamualaykum Aisharida,

    If you are still thinking about someone else, even if it's someone who doesn't know you exist, you will not be fair to your husband...you will not be able to give him the wife that he deserves. I think that in this case, since you are clearly holding onto the possibility of being with someone else, you should seek divorce.

    You can't force yourself to love someone. It comes from Allah.

    May Allah make it easy for you to stand up for yourself. Ameen,

    Nor

  3. Salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh My sister you should make saber in the situation you are in right now. you don't know if the other person that you're thinking about really loves you or really would be great for you. Only Allah knows the best so pray to Allah that he gives you the answer. Everything that looks great is not great. Pray istikhara. May Allah guide you assalamualaikum.. and don't sleep around. And make Toba. return to Allah

  4. What is 'ruksati'??

    Your heading gives away the solution. If you don't desire a man then leave. It really is that simple. If you instead choose to create obstacles for yourself in terms of social stigma, family pressure, emotional blackmail, "what will people say", irrational fear of the word divorce then nobody can help you. So your options are, leave or stay. You know what you want deep down. Good luck.

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