Is it sinful to marry my fiance but still have thoughts of ex- boyfriend afer marriage?
Halaal and Haraam of Relationships
Assalam Alikum
this i am writing in a very bad condition of mind and faith, and i am really confused of my situation there's a guy i liked for about an year and really wanted to marry him he proposed to in the beginning of our casual interaction and then we got close over a period of time as its happens.....
I was very clear in mind and heart that i will marry this guy and also kept me assuring that he will i this mean time we got physically close did not perform intercourse but we touched each other. and desired each other. i always use to avoid but he always forced me and due to a soft corner in my heart for i always surrendered and fullfilled his desires. I knew it was all Haram but somehow i was unable stop myself from it. i also refused a few proposals for him.
Now i am in a situation that my family has forced me into an engagement with another guy. I told my family about my interest in this guy and they agreed that if he gets his parents with a proper proposal they will consider him. Now the problem is that i have tried my best to convince him but nothing seems to work with him he has backed out by saying he needs more time.
I tried to talk the Guy i was forcefully engaged to but did not like him at all, I really loved this guy and cant get him out of my mind i am trying Hard for that.
1. My confusion is that what if keep on thinking about him even if marry some other guy will that be a sin as it is not my hands to abandoned his thoughts??
2. I have performed Istakhara twice and didn't get any clear direction or a contended heart. as i have been reciting Qur'an with meaning and making a lot of prayer and nawafil as well.
3. Is it appropriate for me to pray to Allah to get my Nikah done with the guy i have interacted as i don't want to leave any door for Shaitan to strike me again.
Kindly advice,
Archees.
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i think he is just using u sister. stay away from him. fear ALLAH and learn Islam and follow it. so shytan can do one.
ALLAH said in the Quran
33:33
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Sahih International
And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance. And establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah intends only to remove from you the impurity [of sin], O people of the [Prophet's] household, and to purify you with [extensive] purification.
I hope ALLAH guide u AMIN!!!
This guy is so obviously not sincerely interested in you whatsoever, he just sees you as a girl he can get his way with easily. You need to cut contact with this boy and have a very thorough think about your fiancé; ask yourself if you really want to marry him - if not, then decline his proposal before it's too late and get yourself sorted out.
You didn't have a sincere ex boyfriend this guy was using you his excuse was "I need more time" meaning more time to USE YOU THE HARAAM WAY this was a sign from Allah before it was too late. Sister please sort yourself out and marry the guy your parents are introducing to you. You can even get to know him before marriage, BUT do not be forced to marry, make choices the correct ones FOR YOU. Anything I can help you realise is you have your whole life in front of you, you dont need someone wasting your pious time. Have faith in someone else giving you a sincere marriage proposal forget the other guy CUT HIM OUT ALL TOGETHER. Please take the chance while Allah has given to you, don be fooled by men like this trust and put faith into Allah FOR YOU InshAllah for the better.
Dear sister,
The advise I want to give you is please dont let anyone use you.I think need more time is just an excuse.
Only marry the other guy if you really like him.I would first give it a chance by getting to know him.
Please forget this other man if he does not want to marry you.
Salaam Allah protect you inchallah sister and guide you and there is nothing like Allah swt blessing on your marriage in halal love, and sister Sarah your so right. Inchallah you will see what I'm talking about Halal Love. JazakAllah kheir. From sister Zainab
Assalamu alaykum,
sister dont let him use you anymore,please forget about him and make tauba if you didnt yet. you dont have to marry this other guy if you dont like him just sort yourself out first and ask your parents to look for another guy you might like. do not forget to always pray istikhara before you make your decision. and to answer your question NO it is not ok to think about some one else when you are married, why would you want to think about him if he only used you and didnt even want to marry you in the first place?what he did was really disgusting and you are old enough to know it was haraam.why would you love such a person?if you had any feeling for him it should be disgust!
Nicely put! Agree
I have cut all contacts wid him as soon as irealised my mistake and iam seeking for forgiveness from Allah may he be pleased wid me:(
i dont think about him intentionally its just that iam unable to get him out of my mind and therefore i pray that i get married to him only the luv has already vanished
and iam afraid how will i be able to cope up wid my lyfe partner wid all thesr negative thoughts
i dont want to cheat anybody
plz help
Dear sister,
Keep your self busy as much as you can. In fact your ex was not a right person for you, he was merely using you for his physical satisfaction but somehow Allah has saved you from a big disaster. He was not at all a sincere person and he has never loved you. Instead of praying for your ex coming back to you, pray that Allah puts love for your Fiance in your heart. Still you feel you do not like your fiance, do not force yourself for marriage. But please do not think about your ex as he seems to be an evil. All you need is time to have a successful closer of your previous relationship before entering into another one.
I agree, please pray to Allah to Firgive you what ever you have done with this guy bad or good. Honestly he was using you from the very start, I had so many girlfriends Muslims that dated guys thought they would ask them for marriage but they were wrong all they did was use them and make them look bad, alhamdullah half of them are married now with kids and they always till me now looking back I thank Allah everyday for not letting me marry the guy I was in love with. I know is hard because we are not in your heart I know you will be ok insallah spent time with the new guy in your life give him a chance. If you think things will not workout between you too then you should talk to your parents and find somebody else.
ass salam walaikum bhai jaan and my sisters i born as a hindu but i got converted last year i am 29 yrs old my parents dont know that i am converted.
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