Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Want my nikkah but parents don’t agree yet

I'm a 20 year old student in the U.K. And have alhumdulillah found someone who I want to get married to. I've known him for about a year and a half and we both feel very similarly. I'm currently in my second year of my degree and only have my dad as a parent as my mum passed away a couple of years ago. I told my dad about this guy and alhumdulillah he was open to meeting the guy and said he didn't disagree with my choice but said I need to complete my degree before I can marry him. My dad also said that we can meet if we are with either my dad or his parents (so an adult) which was good at first. We've met a few times without adults which we feel really bad about. It's gotten to a point where I want the nikkah so badly because I feel like this haram is dragging me down. However it isn't as easy as this because my mum wanted me to graduate so my dad is very emotionally invested in my graduation and doesn't want any distractions. I want to fight for my nikkah but I don't want my dad to think that I don't care about my mums wishes because I do. I don't know what to do, any advice would help.


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1 Responses »

  1. Aselam o alaikum,

    My dear sister, please be patient.

    I am really sorry to hear about your mother. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon.

    It seems like your Dad is really understanding of your situation and also wishes to honour your Mother which is very admirable. May Allah reward him immensely.
    I believe he is being reasonable with what he has said and following the Islamic principles.

    Please try to be patient sister, as you are already in the second year of your degree. And only one to go!
    Of course, it is your decision ultimately. But I would advise waiting to complete your education as it is your parents' wish.

    And each time you feel like you may commit Zina, remind yourself that Shaytaan is at work and you must not obey him or his waswasa. Defeat him.

    What you can also do is give yourself an aim/goal to prepare and educate yourself about the rights and responsibilities of a wife. Whilst you are preparing it will keep you focused and looking forward to marriage as well as keeping you away from sin, in sha Allah.

    What you're saying is not wrong, but I think your Father is being reasonable and you should be sensitive to his feelings. It's never easy for a Father to give away his daughter. And he is also trying to do right by your mother.

    Hope this helps

    Your Sis in Islam x

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