Pregnant, and given talaaq
In October 2013 I got married to my cousin- the son of my father's sister. A year ago, my cousin proposed to me as he thought I was the perfect match for him. I was doubtful because recently my other engagement broke. I was engaged to a person who was married twice before, and he used to keep a lot of things secret for me. I was hurt and broke the engagement. My husband came that into my life at that moment, and he made a lot of effort to convince me for him. We got married in october and I was alhamdollilah very happy with him.
The problems started when his mum and sister started to interrupt every little thing. My husband's nature is really naïve, and for him the one and only person on earth who is right is his mum. In this big house, we are the only couple but we've got the smallest room. His sister who is married (but her husband is in Pakistan) got the biggest room, which is four times bigger then our room.
Four weeks ago I found out that I am pregnant and started worrying about what to do with the baby. My husband told me directly that he has the responsibility of his sisters and litle brother (everyone is 21+ working and earning themself). He can't leave the house and live seperately with me and the baby because he feels like he is deceiving his family. Deep within I know that his mother doesn't want this. She is greedy and wants everyone to stay in the house, meaning both of her daughters with their husbands, and we too. The house is short of space and has no privacy. Above all, my husband a lot and really hard, due to which we don't get much time to spend together.
It was his birthday, so I took him out for a few days. To be frank it was more for me because I wanted to have some time for ourselves. I was loving this. I didn't had much money, because I didn't use to work. I just had what my husband used to give me sometimes. When we came back home we had a fight. I start crying and he said "we'll talk about it at home". When we came home, he start threatening me with giving talaaq. His mother came running to us and start repeating to her son that he should take a decision. For God's sake, I was just married for not even 6 months. His sister came home from work and start shouting that if he wouldn't send me away she would leave the house. At that moment he gave me talaaq. He totally forgot that I am pregnant and expecting his baby. I called my cousin, who came to pick me up. The next day I flew to my parents, who live in another country.
I have been here for 2 weeks, and now I am feeling like I am going through A HELL. I miss my husband and I love him so much. I waited 6 days and rang him. He did answer my phone call, but kept saying that he can't go on with me, that it is finished. Then he gave me 3 options: 1, abort the baby, 2 keep it myself. 3 give it to him after birth. He didnt want to make up with me under any circumstances.
I was feeling like someone was telling me an unbelievable story. This is the same husband who used to rush home from work just to see me. Who wanted me to feed him. I thought he loved me. I know he loves me. The story didn't end here. Two uncles of mine and an aunt who are also related to him went to him to talk. He kept saying he can't live with me further. They asked him to give the marriage a second chance, but he was not willing to. A marriage of 6 months, a baby in my stomach, love in my heart for him and full of grief.
My parents wants me to abort the baby, and get married to someone else who does value me. But to be honest, I don't want another man, and I don't want babies with someone else. I just want my husband back and that he accepts me and his baby again. The abortion is planned for 26 march, which is over 3 days. I pray to Allah that some miracle happens, and my husband makes up with me. I sent him a message, but he didn't react to it.
Is there some wazifa or anything I can read, there must be something? I know I have just love and pureness in my mind. I swear on my baby that I love my husband so much that I would do anything to get him back. Someone please help me out.
-Malika786
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Please don't abort your baby, this gift is from Allah, please sister keep strong may Allah kind your heart. Honestly I make sincere dua Allah keeps you safe from harm and your husbands heart opens up. Allah is the only planner of life. Please do not abort your baby.
Dear sister,
I really hope and pray you read this before it's too late. Please do not abort your baby. this is a gift and blessing from Allah. many people try so hard and r never blessed with this in their lifetime and Allah has chosen you to be a mother to this child, to love and nurture.
IA stay strong in your faith, pray 5 times and ask Allah to ease your pain and guide you. I can understand you love your husband, but if you were to get back together do you really see him changing? he gave u talaaq for the sake of his sister? do you want to be with a man who cannot stand up for his wife?
please think about what is best for your future and the future of your child. How would u feel if you were to abort this baby and later on in life unable to fall pregnant?
As hard as this heartache is, Allah tests us. We may not know why, but we need to stay strong and turn to him and have faith that whatever he puts us through is for the better.
A. A.
Straight to the point
1. Three times talaq talaq talaq even in one sitting finishes all hopes. I mean marriage ends. according to ehl e sunnat.
2. Abortion is haram according to all relegions.
3. If u r ehl e hadith three talaqs in one sitting would b one of three talaqs.
4 in pregnncy shuldnt give talaq but if its done then after birth iddaah period would start.
5. Some scholars nullify such talaq in prgnncy. bcoz of i think its haram in this period, their argument is also valid that how come a haram would b accepted.
Im telling this bcoz ive been through this, i was born in ehl e sunnah family but me.... im multi sec, but i pray according to ehl e sunna so i count my self as a ehl e sunna, my wife make me give talaq u can say khula, i gave her 3 in 1 sitting next day when she realized then mufti saab n imaam sab n utube n dr zakir naik (ehl e hadis) bla blabla then she discoverd about 1 n 3 sittings, then v took a fatawa that it is one talaq then we lived togather but how long??? only 8 months... then finished. So plz stick to ur sect dont do abortion, its a murder atleast in my eyes.
Accept appology for my english
Allah bless u.
3x talaq in one go is not allowed, see law of Pakistan they cannot do it there
Its wrong there is no room for ruju
In most Islamic countries 3x talaq forbidden by law
Assalamwalaikum,
Sister, the main matter that led to the divorce in your story is missing. You have not been clear about the fight you had with your husband. What did the two of you fight about? What was the issue? What upset your husband so much that he would give a divorce? What was your reaction in this situation? How did you respond to your former mother-in-law and sister-in-law?
Sister, I can only imagine your situation and the suffering you are going through. Today is 26th march, I wish I replied sooner (well! this post was published on 26th march, so I couldn't have replied any sooner). I do hope that you have not aborted the child. Please choose option 2 and keep the child after birth. Raise the child such that he/she adds to the strength and brings value to the Muslim Ummah. Understand that your child is also going through the pain and struggle you are feeling. This will affect the mental development of your child. As difficulty as it already is, I suggest you to completely turn off your mind and heart to this situation until you have given birth. For the time being, focus all your time and energy to Islam, fill your mind and heart with the remembrance of Allah day-in and day-out. Understand and increase your knowledge of Islam and keep your duties to Allah.
If you have gone ahead with the abortion, despair not and seek forgiveness from Allah for Allah is the Most-Merciful, Most-Forgiving and will bless you with another child in the future with a loving, supporting and pious muslim brother, Insha Allah.
My dear sister, it is important that you are clear of some concepts.
1. In Islam, there is no place for supersition and wazifas are not permissible. I urge that you do not go to such extremes of visiting a "perceived" pious man/woman who would claim to reconcile the affair between you and your former husband through writing some gibberish and reciting it 'x' number of times. There is much on this topic, but given your current state of mind and that you are pregnant, please clear your mind of these ideas. Simply know that wazifas are regarded as a form of shirk and there is nothing you can read to bring your former husband back.
2. You also cannot take promises or oaths upon anything nor any person living or dead. If you are truthful, then promise on Allah only and Allah is the witness for what your heart has hidden and revealed. Allah is All-Knowing. Allah knows what has gone before you and what is ahead of you.
Given what you have said, I think you are right about your former husband being naive, he does not understand relationships nor does he understand the rights of other people and their place in his life. In your former husband's naiveness, don't become naive yourself. Sister, you are a victim of domestic violence and I want you to become more wise from this experience. Sister, you need to understand that this is a deadlock. Your former husband is resolute in his decision to continue his life without you. In love, you do not need to convince the other person to love you. They see who you are, accept you, support you, correct your mistakes and live by you unless there is something that has drastically changed in either your or their life.
I can understand that you may not want to be in another relationship after the recent events in your life. Your heart is currently clutched onto this man and you see no possibility of being with another. Have patience, persevere through these times, your heart will fight to love him but your heart will eventually let go of him. Speaking from my own experience, it may take years to let go and it can even be suicidal, but it won't be forever. Have faith in Allah, you will love again and this time you will be better prepared.
Salaam sister,
Terrible to hear
I think there are special rules for talaq during pregnancy please ask the imam
1. Any man who abandons a pregnant woman is not a man, even if it his mother that is behind it. So your husband is not a man, if he continue sot behave this way.
2. Be careful - sometimes we confuse fear with love. You might out of fear of being alone think you love him. This certainly is the case here. But the truth is he does not love you either, actions speak louder than words.
3. Have faith in Almighty. Give birth to your child. Abortion would increase your pain. Child would reduce your pain and gunahs. Once your child is born this husband might grow some conscience and regret his stand and you can forgive him. Other wise Almighty will lead you to a more suitable relationship - never fear have faith.
4. Your parents are wrong to advocate abortion. This is a cruel and unforgivable sin. Do not do it. Have faith and you will see better times. A woman is very strong, only at times of difficult this becomes clear.
(PS I am non muslim . hindu. but that does not mean i do not feel your pain)
Assalaamualaikam
I pray that you and your baby are safe, sister. May Allah protect you and help you heal from what you have gone through.
InshaAllah, once you have taken time to recover, I hope that you find a pious Muslim man of good character, who will love and respect you and your family.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor