Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, can we marry?

Marriage to a Pious Muslim

Marriage to a Pious Muslim

I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and we are both Muslims. I lost my virginity to him, we are both ashamed and have asked for forgiveness. We have decided that the right thing to do is marry each other. are we doing the right thing by getting engaged and getting married? We both love each other and want to marry? Is this ok or is this making it worse wanting to marry?

Please someone help before they come to ask for my hand next week !!!

Zumbul92


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5 Responses »

  1. Before you even consider marriage you should repent to Allah, you and your boyfriend have committed a shameful act which Allah has clearly stated is haraam and should be avoided before marriage... Allah is most forgiving but that's only if you ask Allah for forgiveness from your heart whole heartedly, do you consider your actions a sin? I ask this because it sounds like your not concerned about what you have done.

    I believe once you have asked for forgiveness you should marry the guy as long as you both have repented to Allah, in my opinion even if you marry this guy you both should repent to Allah for forgiveness for the rest of your life. No one can judge you on this disgraceful act but you yourself should know this is wrong and not assume Allah will forgive you which is why you should ask Allah for forgiveness and be ashamed of this act. I don't want to sound harsh but one should think of there actions before committing a sin!

  2. ASSALAMALAIKUM
    “The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors
    The imperative form of the word 'nikah' implies that either it is obligatory or highly recommended.[3] According to scholars, though marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.
    The Prophet says, “No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage.” [4]
    On another occasion the Prophet (s.a.) said,
    “The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors.” [5]
    Imam 'Ali (a.s.) exhorts, “Marry, because marriage is the tradition of the Prophet.” The Prophet (s.a.) also said, ”Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition.” [6]
    The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the Holy Imams (a.s.) also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways as can be seen from the following: The Prophet (s.a.) said, “O you young men! I recommend marriage to you.” [8]
    Islam also regards marriage as a way to acquire spiritual perfection.
    The Prophet (s.a.) said, “One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half.” [11] How true! A person who fulfills his sexual urges lawfully would rarely be distracted in spiritual pursuits.

    THE WORD MARRY COMES 23 TIMES IN THE QURAN-PLS READ SOME OF THEM-
    Spouses

    Allah, most Gracious says about spouses in Quran:
    Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect. Qur'an [30 : 21]
    and says:
    they are a garment for you and you are a garment to them ... Qur'an [2 : 187]
    Consider this in conjunction with the following verse:
    the best garment is the garment of God-consciousness ... Qur'an [7 : 26]
    It requires that a husband and wife should be as garments for each other. Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and concealment for human beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be for one another.
    And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger; as for those, Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath promised to believers - men and women - gardens underwhich rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme felicity. Qur'an [9 : 71 - 72
    ALL THE BEST.....

  3. The best thing you are going to do is to get married sis.
    you are lucky he want to marry you a lot a guys nowadays
    Leave the girl after they get what they want.he and you need
    To marry before you might get pregnant too.
    Allah may be with you and save this umah from sins.

    Good luck sister

  4. Both of you should repent and then get married. You can go ahead with the marrige.

    There are some misconceptions I should point out - not only to you but to others who read this.

    1) There is no such thing as boyfriends and girlfriends - you are either married or not. Simple. Many of our Muslim youths are victims of Western culture, pursuing relationships which not legitimate from the Islamic perspective. Girlfriend/boyfriend relationships are illicit relationships and often always lead to Haraam. If for example a relationship with a boyfriend did not go well and you lost your virginity to him, if you were to marry someone else they may want to know if you are virgin.

    2) There is no concept of fiance/fiancee or engagement in Islam - please look and read Islamic books on marriages from reputable Islamic schloars.

    Regards

  5. Yes Please.

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