Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can I convince her parents for her hand in marriage and win her trust back

There is no place for racism in Islam

There is no place for racism in Islam

well im a muslim boy and im like 17 years after a few months i will become 18..

the problem i have is that i like a memon girl and im really sincere to her but we had a missunderstanding in the past in which his cousins tricked me that she was the one who was gonna trap me so due to this i trapped her instead after i found out that she wasnt trying to do that she forgave but its hard for her to trust me im really respect her and dont have any bad thoughts for her in my mind my feeling are pure for her but she says she is gonna get married after 2nd year she doesnt want to and i know she loves me secretly but does not tell me.
im studying alot to get good grades to impress her parents but i only have one year till she gets married so i need some way to make her parents wait till i graduate so i need your help with these please i dont have much time. and here i know allah is the the one who helped me this far because when i went on my umrah i wished at every place where allah makes wishes come true and when i came back only then she started talking to me and only allah is the one who made my wish come true and i know allah is the one who is gonna help me get through all this because he is the one who made her forgive me for my mistakes or else my mistakes were far beyond forgiveness..


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4 Responses »

  1. Hi Shenny,

    If you are sincere in her then why misunderstanding?? anyways its not a big matter,

    now the question is whether she agree or not, tell her you have been trapped by her cousin ans that's why all the story been....., also tell her these words but in kind manner and way, "dear i agree that i have misunderstood and trapped you, now you have a choice to accept me or leave, but i really have a faith on you that this time if you don't believe me then both will loose each other," so think twice before taking decision, also tell her about your feelings and faith on Allah that you have been experienced,

    Stop to impress them, you are not here to impress rather you behave, if you are a good and brilliant student then you definitely get in their vision, and they refer you, also they will not wait until your graduation completion, better you propose them, if they likes you then at least they will stop the marriage activities and may give a chance to you as well,

    ("i wished at every place where allah makes wishes come true") This is absolutely wrong, Allah don't have eye on certain places, rather he is all around,

    And try at your best and best level, as you have a chances to marry her,

    May God Bless you,

  2. By getting good grades you will only impress your teachers and your parents, NOT her parents. specially not if she doesnt get good grades.

    There is nothing unusual about your romantic feelings towards this girl. People fall in love very easily at your age but what is important is what you do with that rosy feeling. plz don't get very friendly with her even if the misunderstanding is sorted. Value your chastity as Allah values it. Your strong feelings for her will work as a catalyst for a major sin that shaitan is waiting to push you in. Maintain safe distance. I don't think you can even tell your parents that you what to marry unless you want to make a fool of yourself by cracking the best family joke ever and carry the embarrassment forever.Brother that happened with my husband when he spoke to his mum about his classmate at your age and he still feels embarrassed about it coz some1 or the other keeps bringing it up and every1 laughs at it as though they just got tickled. So plz if you come from a family where guys graduate and get a job and buy a home and then marry, then plz forget the idea of marriage for a good few years and don't even mention it.

    let us not forget that this is a memon girl and most memons marry in their teens plus Memon parents are very particular about getting their kids married in their community. They do not prefer people from other communities AT ALL. At times they are so stubborn that they will marry their daughter to a school dropout,flirt son of a filthy rich merchant of their community than a highly educated pious boy from another, which actually makes them very communal. So I doubt if your A+ grades can impress them anyway.

    I'm not being cynical though there may be a few exceptions and I know there are but this is how 99% memons turn out. I have seen and practically lived with too many memons in my life. I had some as my best friends and I love them all and I'm not trying to sound mean but you can trust my opinion on this one.

    Why don't you focus on your studies to aim for a lucrative career instead. Mashaallah I can see that you are spiritual for your age already and the very awareness of Allah s.w.t and the faith that you have in Him will guide you better. You will meet many people in your life and experiences with them will make you wiser. since your personality is still developing you won't be able to tell what you want or would become ten yrs from now. trust Allah's decisions for you and you will never see disappointments.

    So don't let your heart break. live your life and avoid getting all worked up over marriage.

    Coz For God's sake kid, your only 17! !!!


  3. Excuse my ignorance, but what does it mean to trap someone? The poster mentions he trapped a girl, but what does this mean? Is it some kind of ritual? Like when gypsy men just take a girl that they like, forces themselves upon her for kisses, or what is it?

    • I am not 100% sure, but I think the OP means to lead the other person on and "trap" them in their love - but not sincerely--however, later it seems that the OP was sincere so he wants the girl to forgive him for his original behaviour.

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