My Hindu girlfriend has left me to marry someone of her parents choice
Is my marriage permissible?
Asalamu Alaikkum,
I am a Muslim boy and have relationship with a Hindu Girl for almost 6.5 years.
I am at my 30 and working for a reputed IT consultant in India and she is at 28 currently working in U.S.
We were so madly in love with each other and we have never taken more than half an hour for patch-up all these days when we had tough time. She has always showed me that she cant even imagine a life without me.
However she has started thinking about her family status and ready to leave me for their happiness.
She has tried to convince her parents but they have really given a tough time. She is so scared to go back to them for our marriage and decided to leave me for them. We normally speaks almost 3 to 4 hours daily however it has reduced to 30 to 45 minutes initially. I really could not digest all these initially.
Yes sadly...She has got engaged to someone else and she is going to get marry to him on Aug 30th. I am so depressed and do not know what to do. I have not disturbed her or compelled her ever to marry me however I did try to express my solid pain that she has given to me.
Day in and day out, Its so pathetic and all our good memories of almost 6.5 years are torturing me like anything. Whenever I get a chance to speak to her, I could feel that she is more concern about her new life and she is worrying whether I would torture her in anyways. I could also feel that the bonding that we had so far, is missing completely.
She didn't even inform me about the engagement and its all happened when I was not here in India. She has came down all over from US during that time and got engaged to someone else. I was surprised that she could do this to me but do not want to torture her her in anyways as she would hate me further completely.
She told that she has done all these because of her parents as they would not accept at any cost. Its so painful to think that she has chosen someone else and now she is spending time with that person not even considering my pain in anyways. I did not do any mistake for her to do like this and even If I have done anything, I had never felt bad to say sorry to her. Why did she do this to me? Wont she think about me and my true love? Its too much of pain and Its really very very very tough to pass my days now a days. Its very painful to accept that I have lost my 6.5 years of love.
Now, I have started realizing all the sins that I have done in my life and praying our God almighty to forgive all my sins in my every prayers. I do believe that I would have gone wrong path If I would have marry to her as she was never ready to convert.
However its so pathetic to digest that she has cheated me badly. She didnt even inform me about her engagement and the marriage. Currently, I am not really worrying to marry her but all I wanted her to realize the pain that she has given to me. Its like a cold blooded murder what she has done to me. I am not going to disturb her in anyways but I wanted her to realize my pain. Is that wrong on my part to think like that? Or should I just carry on with my life?
Please give me some good hadith or something that can heal my pain and which would help me to come out from her memories.
Wasallam,
- Muslimbro
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Assalamualaikum
Im sorry that you are suffering but you have to realise that you have been in a haraam relstionship for soo long and you must repent ask for forgiveness from Allah swt. Ur ex gf has now got engaged to someone else so let her be, leave her alone and cut all contacts with her. save yourself from more sins and heartache. move on and make dua to Allah for a pious muslim wife.
Assalamu alaykum brother,
Allhamdullilah Allah saved you from her!brother you should thank Allah for saving you, you got a new chance to change your life so use this chance!you have commited sin for 6.5years as you know a boyfriend girlfriend relationship is haram in islam and you could not marry her anyway because she is a hindu!!!!your relationship was haram and now Allah has saved you from her and the hellfire.now its ramadhan and you should repent and go back to Allah,is the best time for you to repent and inshAllah Allah will forgive your sins!you said yourself that she was never ready to convert!so your relationship would end anyway as you are not allowed to marry a hindu girl!so be thankfull for what happened to ypu and dont complain about it even if it hurts because it was not right in the first place!leave her alone and please do not contact her anymore.let her live her life and you should repent to Allah and be thankfull for what happend to you as Allah gave you a chance to repent.we do not know if we will be alive tomorrow so use this chance to repent before is to late for you brother.ask Allah for forgiveness from the buttom of your heart for all the sins you have done in his relationship and ask him for a muslim wife in the future inshAllah!you do not know how lucky you are there are so many people they still are in haram relationship and do not get this chance to repent!think about your akhira and pray your 5daily prayers brother,read the Quran and beg Allah for forgiveness before its to late!concentrate about your deen thats the most important thing in this life!
Brother in one word you wear in haram relation. You have wasted 6.5yrs o your life. Allah has given you chance and I can say that way that Allah helped you to move from thy relation. Even her parents would agree or she wants to get married to you that won't be in halal because she is Hindu and Muslim can't marry hindu!!
Brother I will suggest you as a sister is the stop thinking about that why she didn't feel the pain she gave me it's useless trust me. I know you not worrying to marry her but also don't start to think why she didn't feel etc.
If you get time do read this, http://maseeh1.tripod.com/advices7/id150.htm .I know it's not related to your situation but you will have peace in mind
Another thinG I would like to say brother that find a good Muslim girl and get married inshallah Allah has someone for you who will be your partner.
Sister... You said find a 'good' Muslim girl. In this forum being Muslim is synonymous to being good. Is there a bad Muslim?how should a brother know who is a good Muslim girl ?
Being a Muslim is synonymous with being good? Since when? Muslims commit sins great and small. Some Muslims cheat, lie, steal, fornicate, drink alcohol, oppress others and even kill others.
Other Muslims are honest, kind, generous, and loving.
Muslims are human beings - does that need to be stated? Some are good and some are bad.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As Salamualaikum Muslimbro,
Indeed, you had been wasting 3 to 4 hours daily for all these days. The time you could have done something productive was wasted with this lady.
She was and is anyway Haraam for you my brother, and you deserve a much better partner.
Allah said in Surah at Tawbah, Aayah 28:
O you who believe (in Allah's Oneness and in His Messenger (Muhammad )! Verily, the Mushrikun (polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah, and in the Message of Muhammad ) are Najasun (impure) ....
You are a Mu'min, and Allah said in Surah an Nur:
Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women), such (good people) are innocent of (each and every) bad statement which they say, for them is Forgiveness, and Rizqun Karim (generous provision i.e. Paradise).
Subhanallah! Your position is much higher than you can ever imagine. She did not deserve you, nor does she deserve you now.
My brother, you have sinned, just like any other Human Being does. But the best of the sinners is the one who does Tawbah. The conditions for true Tawbah are that you realize your mistake or sin, leave the sin immediately and that you resolve never to do it again.
Alhamdulillah, you realize your mistake, and you have also realized your sin, now pray that Allah Forgives you for the sin and resolve never to turn to it again.
Don't feel sad, Allah Forgives everyone among His Slaves. Read tip beautiful Hadith:
On the authority of Abu Dharr al-Ghifari (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is that among the sayings he relates from his Lord (may He be glorified) is that He said:
“‘O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another. O My servants, all of you are astray except for those I have guided, so seek guidance of Me and I shall guide you. O My servants, all of you are hungry except for those I have fed, so seek food of Me and I shall feed you. O My servants, all of you are naked except for those I have clothed, so seek clothing of Me and I shall clothe you. O My servants, you sin by night and by day, and I forgive all sins, so seek forgiveness of Me and I shall forgive you. O My servants, you will not attain harming Me so as to harm Me, and you will not attain benefiting Me so as to benefit Me. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as pious as the most pious heart of any one man of you, that would not increase My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as wicked as the most wicked heart of any one man of you, that would not decrease My kingdom in anything. O My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to rise up in one place and make a request of Me, and were I to give everyone what he requested, that would not decrease what I have, any more than a needle decreases the sea if put into it. O My servants, it is but your deeds that I reckon up for you and then recompense you for, so let him who finds good praise Allah and let him who finds other than that blame no one but himself.’”
It was related by Muslim (also by at Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)
There is a reason why you should keep your hopes alive and should trust in Allah and hence not despair of Allah's Mercy.
You have certainly transgressed against yourself. But in Surah az Zumar, Aayah 53, Allah says:
Say: "O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against
themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Ibn Abbas Radiyallahu Anhu says (as far as I remember) that this is the Aayah which gives the most hope, in the entire Quran.
You are just like any other man, brother. Just like me. I sin and do tawbah, may Allah accept my tawbah. You have sinned and you need to do tawbah. Insha Allah, our Lord Will accept your tawbah.
You deserve a good Muslim lady, brother. Do not worry, you'll find one soon. Now, just throw this girl out of your heart and mind.
I hope it helps
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Firstly say alhumdulillah that Allah has saved you from
A very dangerous and risky union,think about the consequences
Had you married her,your iman would have been at risk and the iman
Of your children too,Allah is our rabb and he decides what is best for us
We are Muslims and we should marry Muslims, not jere tp criticize ur ex
But Hindus are mushriks(those who associate partners with Allah)Allah will
Forgive all sins besides shirk according to quraan(if he wishes)
Take this as a sign from Allah and don't despair and get depressed that she left you
Rather make shukr that she left you,relationships before marriage are totally
Haraam and there can be no benefit from them,infact the misconception of love before
Marriage is itself a great desease and only when u get married u will realize where you
Stand,Allah has created alot of men and alot of women(Muslims) so there is no shortage
And no excuses to not look within ur own community
Take this as a test from Allah and use it to get closer to Allah
The tears you wasting on ur ex is nothing but a waste,but if you tear and cry to Allah for
Guidance and a good wife,insha-Allah he will grant it to u,the treasures of Allah are unlimited,we
Need to believe that,also,this world is temporary so as musllims we believe that the hardships we face
Are also temporary,turn to Allah,seek his help and his guidance
Wallah there is nothing more valuable is this life ore hereafter than his closeness.
If we have Allah we have everything but if we don't have Allah
Wallah we are the biggest losers and will suffer the consequences
Forgive me if I said anything to hurt you buy you have to be strong
Remember insha-Allah there is a pious good women out there waiting for you
You need to make dua to Allah,only he can answer prayers
And he will find you your partner insha-Allah
May Allah bless all those seeking partners with good partners
That will increase there iman and assist them to become the friends of Allah
May make our partners the coolness
Of our eyes and may he unite us in janah with our spouses,Ameen
"Wallah there is nothing more valuable is this life ore
hereafter than his closeness. If we have Allah we have
everything but if we don't have Allah"
Well said brother Yusuf. Its very true. May Allah keep us closer to Him and never turn away from us.
Jazakallahu Khair
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Yea.Alhamdulilah.Alah da almighty saved from doing such evil acts.You should be happy tat allah gave you a second chance to think and make yourself correct.
Dont Misuse this opportunity ,Ask forgiveness ,dont repent wol lost her, be thankful you were protected from a haram relationnship!Sorry but am a small girl .even though pls take my advice into your heart...Be a shots muslim not a label one..Thank you .Wasalam
Why didn't you marry her rather than have wasted 6.5years. If she meant so much to you, you should have married her.
Now that she has got engaged, leave her alone, let her be, maybe she too realised this relationship was wrong and for women there's a time you have to settle down and make a choice. There's no point looking back be grateful you are given a second chance, rebuild brother and move on, everything happens for a reason, may allah guide you onto the correct path
as-salaam-u-alaikum-wr-wb.. Brother!
Now, I have started realizing all the sins that I have done in my life and praying our God almighty to forgive all my sins in my every prayers. I do believe that I would have gone wrong path If I would have marry to her as she was never ready to convert.
there you go! you've answered yourself!
I say wuhu! time for celebration! as almost everyone has stated above.. yes! It was haraam! It's great that she's moved on in a way.. because you're not engaging in haraam acts (in your case yapping on the phone for so & so hours)..
Just say *alhamdulillah*.. I understand it's not as easy as that.. you're emotionally attached to this lady that you've had a relationship with for 6.5 years! & that is a long time!
but hey! seriously.. Is it possible! with time & courage *Insha' Allah* you'll find yourself moving on.. currently.. It may seem as your life has just lost it's purpose & you don't find anything interesting.. you're stressed out of your mind! leading to the path of depression!
but nooo! this is a phase.. whether long or short.. you will eventually snap out of it.. because life moves on..
& the reason being so why i am promoting for you to move on brother.. is simply because that lady has chosen to move on.. & she seems quite content with her decision..
Allah knows best..
Wasalam...
First of all, I am sincerly thanking my beloved brothers and sisters for taking your time to put your thoughts.
As I have already stated that I am repenting myself for the mistakes that I have done and I am really looking out to come out from this asap.
Btw, she has got married on Aug 3öth and its all over however I am just struggling with the pain that I am going through now. I am not really worrying that I have lost her but just could not digest the way how she has moved on with someone without even letting me know that she was avoiding me.
Anyways, Thank you again all my brothers and sisters..Wasalam...
hmm.. everything happens for the best
I am happy that she left you and out of your life . What love and pain you are talking about ?
Its all just a mind game .It goes with time .
For a Muslim real love should be to obey Allah and prophet(SAS) .
Spend time more in Islamic stuies and practises and develop love for Allah and think about life after death .If you had married her (which is not allowed islamically) your life would have become like a hell due to her idol worship and all kufr related practices .You should thank Allah who save you from her ..
Honestly - you've gotten a lot of responses from people who have turned this into a religion issue. But have you asked yourself that she didn't want to marry you because you asked her to convert? And do you realize that many people think it is very unfair and disrespectful to ask someone to convert?
I am a Muslim woman, but I respect all religions and I would never ask someone I loved to convert. If you insist that they convert, then you don't truly love them!
I totally disagree. There is nothing wrong with asking someone to convert. We are inviting them to something good. We are inviting them to the truth, the deen that Allah has chosen for us and designed for us. Don't we want the best for people? Don't we want good for them in the dunya and the aakhirah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com
true
AOA
Islam is our deen- whole way of life. Of course religion has got to do with everything. After all this is an Islamic Q&A site, otherwise they would've just written to some godless agony aunt instead?!?!
Her parents think you're not perfect enough for her and that the Hindu guy is. Parents are so bent on the perfect, mistake-free guy for their daughters and will let their sons choose even if their girl doesn't behave since he can whip her anyway.