Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is praying to Allah for marrying the person I want Haram?

Salam,

I am in a relationship and I am totally in love with this man. I got into this relationship thinking we would have a future and I really look forward to it but, he does not seem to be that interested in me I mean we are in a relationship but I don't think he's serious and I really can't imagine someone else. So if I ask Allah that he should fall for me or that I should only get married to him. Then is my Dua Haram.?

Masooma

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7 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaykum Masooma,

    You should pray the Salat Al-Istikhara for seven days following your obligatory prayer. As the days progress, you will feel more strongly in your heart one way or another, and that is the feeling you should go with.

    In the Salat Al Istikhara, you ask Allah to make the best option easy, available, and blessed for you. You can find directions for this prayer in the blue menu atop this page.

    May Allah grant you happiness and love,

    Hugs,

    Nor

  2. First of all, please understand that relationships are haram. You aren't doing yourself a favour by entering into relationships before your marriage. If you are interested in someone, talk to their elder or to them directly, and convey your feelings, and let your seniors take care of it.

    Let me tell you most males are lusty creatures and we aren't wired to have strong emotional needs. On the other hand, apart from looks, females fall for a man's overall personality and confidence. So, there is a strong emotional aspect to it. Just talk to any female who ever has had a break up! They will all let you know the wisdom behind nikah in Islam and why we shouldn't love each other before Nikah. I am not against potential partners talking to each other Islamically in the presence of/or sanctioned by their mahrams.

    So as far as your current case is concerned, just leave it. From a very liberal standpoint, there is no use in it as well since the affair is only one-sided. Purify yourself from this relationship crap in the future. Do not despair of the mercy of Allah. God's gonna send good, decent, confident and handsome males your way the halal way.

    PS: Asking Allah to put your love in someone's heart is not haram provided you have no haram contacts with them and haven't pursued them before Nikah or don't talk to them. This is akin to when you pray God to send a good spouse for you. In this regard, it's allowed. But still confirm this from an Islamic scholar.

    • Something about your writing just looks so appealing and I can't place a finger on it .
      Your writing is clear and concise.Also, you raise some good points in your paragraphs.
      If you could provide me with some tips on how i can improve my writing would be appreciated

      • Very kind of you, my dear Ahmed!

        It sounds quite cliche but read as much as you can. If you want to develop a relatively informal and a candid style of writing, read magazines and self-help books.

        For clarity and brevity, I would advise you to go through newspaper columns and choose 2 to 3 guys who write simple, lucid and coherent stuff. Just read them regularly.

        Reading fiction will not assist you in developing the kind of writing style that you want but it has the potential to expand your vision. So, yeah, go ahead and read some of it too.

        Lastly, write 400-500 words on any random topic every week. Just write it after a week. Not 2 or 3 days but keep writing consistently.

        All of this is going to take time. Remember it's not going to happen overnight. But slowly and surely, you would see the improvement. I wish you the best of luck! God bless you!

  3. Wa alaykumsalam.

    Firstly, you can't have a relationship before marriage. Remember that the shaitan wants to misguide people and he knows that sexuality is the most easiest way to get to people. From there, he plays with peoples minds and deludes them into thinking that they are in love but in reality its just lust.

    When actually looking to marry a person one knows that they have to look for the person that they are genuinely wanting to marry and spend their entire life with.

    There's a big difference.

    The false relationships are like a gameplay, like you pick and leave. Whereas marriage is something more serious and one knows that a particular person is going to spend their ENTIRE life with them. So a guy then marries the one he's actually serious about. This is the will of Allah, and he knows what's best for us.

    If you liked the guy, you shouldn't have had this zina "relationship" See if he was actually serious about you, he would have asked your hand in marriage.

    Now realistically if you told him that you wanted to marry him he would have shrugged it off. Why? because marriage is a huge step and something to think about over and over again.

    Remember whatever happens, if you like someone and they like you, don't fall into zina (May Allah guide you). Protect yourself, repent (and this sin isn't to be taken lightly).

    Stay away from zina and marry the person that wants to live with you all their life.

  4. Your dua is not haram, but your relationship is. You said it yourself, this man doesn't want to commit to you, so why are you still with him and insisting on forcing him to marry you? Instead of asking of Allah to force this man to want you, why don't you ask Allah to give you a good husband?

    You can't imagine yourself with another man, because you are telling yourself that this man is the only man in the world. You need to realize that there are much better and more serious men out there than this guy...

  5. OP: I am in a relationship and I am totally in love with this man..... he does not seem to be that interested in me......... I don't think he's serious and I really can't imagine someone else.

    I have a feeling he is going to use you as long as you let him....and then leave you. Don't waste your time for him. Why are you with him when you know he is not interested in a serious relationship with you? Are you too lonely?

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