I am pregnant and my parents keep me far from my husband
Salaams,
My name is nadia and I had a love marriage about a year ago, I ran away and now I´m back to my parents house and I´m pregnant they are forcing me to leave my husband. I didn ´t agree then. They are asking him for conditions he can´t fullfill.
Last night they emotionaly made me swear on quran, I won´t talk to him till he fullfills those conditions that my parents are asking for, I don´t know what to do.
Thank you.
Nadia
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What a nice and excellent advice from sister z..... Salaam nidia . . I suggest u look into d advice given 2 u by sister z and try 2 make resonable conclusion
dear Nadia
This is such a horrible situation to be in. But i want to ask you, is your husband good to you, does he treat you well. if yes then why have you left him after running away to marry him.
If he does not want to be with you now, then that is a shame considering that there is an innocent child involved. But if you both want to be together then my advice to you would be to go back to your husband and try and build a home together for your baby.
Its not fair that your family is asking him fulfill conditions that they already know he can't. Do they really want to see you divorced and a single parent.
Whats happened has happened, you made a horrible mistake in running away and i can see that they must have been heart-broken, but you cannot change the past. tell them this and also be stronger. A forced swear on the Quran is not valid anyway- so I suggest you speak to a Imam or someone elder who your parents will listen to and talk about this whole mess. Also maybe your husbands parents can get involved and try and resolve this in a civilised manner.
Again I emphasise that you and your husband try have a future together for the sake of your baby and at the same time seek forgivness from your parents and show them kindness and respect.
I pray Allah resolves your problems and you must also pray- do your salah and try to strengthen your faith.
May Allah bless you with peace.
Dear Nadia, Asalaamualaykum,
You seem to be very confused. Though since you are married Nadia, these are just some of the very important questions that you need to ask yourself. Why did you run away to marry? Why did your parents not give you their blessings? Why have you now left your husband and returned to your parents? Is it not possible to be happily married to this man and have your parent's blessings too? Are the demands your parents are making unreasonable?
For you to be able to answer these questions properly, it is important that your mind is focussed in the right way. Are you inclined towards Islam? Do you know the rights and duties of a parent child relationship and that of a husband and wife relationship?
Islam encourages us to choose a spouse who is good for us in this life and the next, one who: (1) has a good character - i.e. is gentle in speech, is polite, respectful, supportive, cool natured, lowers his gaze, trustworthy, feels secure in his Islamic identity, hard working; (2) is striving to be a good Muslim - strives to pray 5 times a day, fasts, has love for Quran and Allah etc.
If your husband is a Muslim and is good and kind to you, if he looks after you financially, physically and emotionally - then return to him. If your parents do not want you to return to him because he is emotionally, physically abusing you, then I stand with them. However, if your parents are making unreasonable demands, like they want him to give you large sums of money and have a big house, car, holidays etc - then maybe their intentions are flawed. It is difficult to tell as you have provided no information.
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As you have provided no specific details Nadia, I can only give you general advice. So please think about what I have written above and try to come to your own conclusion remembering your Islamic identity. If you want more advice, please write in with more information.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor