Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I feel guilty?

upset muslim woman, distressed sister

Aslam alaykm,

I'm a 19 years old female

Last year I was in an unnamed relationship with a guy, he was very attached and wanted to propose , at first everything was thrilling and I thought I was in love with him

Later on i started feeling very guilty and I was really disgusted from myself because I realized that what i was doing is haram and that i wasn't in love with him as i thought i was so i ended things with him and blocked him from everywhere , he tried to reach me several times but i made it very clear that i don't want anything to do with him.

I honestly feel like i did the right thing by leaving him because 1) It's haram 2) I didn't love him and i did'nt really feel like i would spend my whole life with him 4) he wanted marrige and i'm too young

Now i feel really bad for breaking his heart, i sometimes go to his social media account and see the things he posts and i just hate myself

I'm very sure i dont love him but i just feel like i've hurt him

My parents knew about him after a while and they were very dissapointed but didn't do anything beacause everything was done and I left him because it was haram

I always pray that allah heals his heart and that allah forgives me

Ps. I really regret everything that I've done and I made tawba

Do I forgive myself or i'm really a bad person and  should continue feeling guilty?


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3 Responses »

  1. No you don't need to feel guilty, as you left him for the sake of Allaah. Make Taubah for yourself and make duaa that the boy will find peace with Allah also. That's enough from you. Those waswas is from shaythaan. Do not check his social medias, totally stay away from him.
    19 isn't to young to marry if you feel ready and mature enough, but also the man should be ready and mature enough. Also both of you should be aware of what marriage will bring, the rules, also the rights and duties.

  2. Please move forward everything is Shayatan’s fault . He made you believe that you in love and you realized what’s right Alhamdulilaah be grateful for Allah . This is a lesson don’t look back at the past. It will make you doubt about the future . Allah guide you

  3. Assalam u alykum, my Dear Sister!

    Firstly, congratulations on doing the right thing!

    When you're stuck in "love", it's hard to reel your emotions back in and see from the lenses of sense.
    So well done for taking such a hard step and doing the right thing. You rejected shaytaan's waswasas and you were strong enough to do it.

    Please don't feel guilty and try not to track him down. He's moving on with his life as should you. Please repent and seek Allah taAla's forgiveness. Do dua for him also.

    You're not a bad person, we all make mistakes. But if you learn from these mistakes and repent, it's the best thing and the best way in moving forward. A person who commits sins and then sincerely repents and stays on the right path is beloved to Allah.

    Please move on, keep your trust in Allah and work on your relationship with your parents and gaining their trust again - that you must treasure once achieved.

    Final note - you did the right thing. Don't feel guilty at all. Repent, do istighfaar and pray for a righteous spouse!

    Lots of love and duas,
    Your Sister in Islam

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