Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am afraid my boyfriend is cheating on me

internet cheating1 %photo

Salaam...

I am a muslim young teenage girl, I have a boyfriend but my family know about him. Our families are in the process of accepting each other family and are looking to get us married, insha´Allah.

But I just want to be reassure, I am scared that he is cheating on me, I love him so much, and he is the first guy of my life, since I met him my life has improved and even my family has noticed the change.

But lately he hasn´t been acting like himself, he is always busy with his family, I repect that and I do believe him, but he has two facebooks accounts, one for me and other one for his family, but a friend of mine told me that there is a exgirlfriend talking about him in her status´saying things like, I had a good day with him,..... he told me about her, and he said he doesn´t care about her, and he said he loves me and wants me to be his wife, ...

Being a teenager, I don´t really know what to do, he is my life, my everything, but I am confused about what to do. I don´t want to make the wrong decision, that will affect family and us.

Can Someone PLEASE Advice/Help Me In What I Could Do...

JazaakAllah...

Noor


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11 Responses »

  1. Assalamu Alikum Warhamthallahi Wrbkathuhu,

    Subhanallah, these are one of the reasons im so against having facebook It has so fitnah and its a gateway to Jahannam. Sister, is it possible that you can speak to the ex-girlfriend? Maybe you can add her on Facebook and just ask her directly, whats their relationship is? Although, there is a possibility that she might be lying, its worth having ago. Or you can ask you friend to ask the ex-girlfriend, without saying that you're the one that asked for it?

    And you say that you believe, so at the end of the day, its a matter of whether you trust him? You must have known him for quite a while now, so does he always tell the truth? Is he trustable? How is he interms of religion? Brothers who are religion and have high taqwa know that Allah(swt) is watching them are less likely to lie.

    May Allah(swt) ease you difficulties and inshallah, i hope you get married soon.

    • Sister Khadijah, Mashallah you mentioned that fb leads to jahannam, and i personally agree its not good.
      But what does your attitude towards this young girl when you mention his exgirlfriend say?
      It sound alarmingly relaxed.
      Instead of helping her find a solution to continue in a lifestyle she doesnt deserve, why havent you havent made any similar remark that such a lifestyle of girlfriend/boyfriend leads to jahanam?

      Neither have you addressed her relationship with him, calling him her boyfriend? Is this a halal way of life, or do you only object to fb?

      As for the girl, if he approached her family for marriage, wouldnt he be called fiance? Why then is she calling him boyfriend?
      Why are you condoning this?
      What does such attitude advertise to other young teenage muslims who frequent here to seek advice or validate their own haram relationships?
      Do you know that when the son of Prophet Adam, Qabeel (cain) Killed his brother Habeel (able)...over a woman. That Qabeel was the first person in the creation of humanity to have committed murder.
      And because of that sin, Qabeel will carry the sins of all whom from that day until today kills another human. Because asan ilqatil - he made an example by murder and what example is the flamboyant display of unislamic immoral boyfriend girlfriend behavior amongst the muslim ummah setting an example of? And furthermore whom will be responsible for propagating the seeds that sow social destruction. If Qabeel is held accountable for all of man kinds murders then all whom do not stop a sin or those whom adopt loose attitudes towards it risk also carrying the sins of whom they influence.

      This is the seed of social destruction and not calling haram haram and not advising others to stop haram IS the actual way to jahanam.

      May Allah open everyones eyes and remove the veil of disinformation misguidance and ignorance. Ameen

  2. As salamu alaykum, Sister Noor,

    Thank you very much for sharing, I am going to offer you my personal opinion, please take it with a pinch of salt.

    Trust him and don´t listen to this girl, give him a vote of trust, your families are involved, Alhamdulillah.

    If any of your friends come to you to whisper about this girl, tell them you are not interested on listening to them, stay away from those whisperings and concentrate on your salat, your duas, yourself, your family and give the time to this engagement to occur, I am sure he wouldn´t involve his family if he didn´t have straight intentions towards you.

    Focus on what is important and relevant, this girl is just a distraction.

    All my Unconditional Love and Respect,

    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Salaams Sister

    I feel you should ask your friend to contact this girl and find out what's the real strory. She should also mention to her that your'll are in a relationship. Sister don't ignore this. Trust your instincts. If you feel that something is wrong try to clear this up immediately as it would only affect your marriage later on. But as sister Khadijah has mentioned there is a possibilty that this girl could be lying as well. She could be having evil intentions to break your'll up.

    Once this is cleared up, ask him to delete his facebook account as this also creates problems in relationships. You should do the same as well.

    Rumaysa

  4. Why do you want to marry so young? Also, yes, I'd ask this ex-girlfriend what's going on...as well as anyone else who knows her (and him) well. Think more about your education and work - if you have a job - and less about what this boy and what he's doing.

  5. PLEASE DO NOT ASK ADVISES FOR BEFORE MARRIAGE RELATIONS. THIS SITE IS FOR MUSLIMS, AND IT IS NOT FAIR ENOUGH TO TALK ABOUT RELATIONSHIP BEFORE MARRIAGE.

    SUPPOSE SISTER NOOR, IF THIS MARRIAGE DOESN'T HAPPEN THEN ARE YOU GOING TO STAY YOUR LIFE UNMARRIED?
    WILL YOU BE SUITABLE FOR SOME ONE OTHER THAN YOUR BOYFRIEND?
    WHAT IS HIS FAULT TO MARRY A GIRL WHO IS IN LOVE WITH SOME OTHER MAN, OR MAY BE SHE HAS BEEN VERY CLOSE TO HIS PHYSICALLY?

    SO STOP SUCH TEEN LOVE STORIES HERE AND FOLLOW ISLAM.

    AND SO CALLED ADVISERS / SISTERS HERE, PLEASE STOP GIVE ADVICES FOR UNRECOGNIZED RELATIONSHIPS, THIS IS NOT GOOD ON YOUR PART. THIS REFLECTS SOCIETY.

    • Quadri:

      1. Please do not type in all caps.
      2. Do not include your email address in your comments.

      Thank you for your comments here, jazak Allah khayr.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. Dear Wael

    Thanks for your valuable advice.
    I will be careful here after.

    Jazakallah Khair

    Quadri

  7. sister

    again, i will advice you like i did with another sister not to ever ever ever say things like "he is my life, h is my evrything"

    he is not your life, and he is not your everything.

    Allaah is your everything, the one whom you live for, die for, sacrifice for, and love more than aaaaaaaaaall.

    please be carfull, many poeople make shirk in the love of Allaah.as Allaah says in suuurah baQarah.

    this boy is just a person you met, and Allaah may have not decreed that you be with him, or he may di soon and you will be looking fr another husband.

    please keep this n mind

  8. Assalam - o - Alaikum,
    ..How is everyone here and their Family? Hope fine. Can someone please tell me how to post a question here, like this girl did? Sorry to ask this stupid question but I am new here and I found this website really helpful, Alhumdulillah. Kindly, tell me, the editor or someone else.

    JazaakALLAH.
    FI AMANILLAH.
    Send my and Family Salaam to your Family and your loved ones. And also to you!
    ALLAH HAFIZ.

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