Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Friends with benefits…

gender issues

Assalam I alikuym

I met a nice pious Muslim guy (or thought he was till I knew him)  in my high school, he was my first love. He confessed his love, I accepted, we dated for 5 years. In those years he slept with 2 girls and one he dated while dating me. I never knew till she told me herself, I know I have done things but not worst as him. And recently he broke up with me saying everything is different our families everything and I heard he is trying to get the same girl he dated while being with me but he is saying she's lying. Now he just want to be friends more of a friends with benefit but I don't want that I want him in my life in my future. Please help what I should do? I am lost.


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4 Responses »

  1. OP: It is quite clear you have been used by this nice pious Muslim guy for five years and he wants to continue to use you in exchange for some benefits. Time to end this friendship and move on.

  2. Sounds like a jerk and nothing about him sounds like he is Nice, Pious or Muslim. You need to look after yourself and not lower yourself to other peoples levels you are a Muslima so are much better than that my Sister.

    Also repent for what you have done and also make Du'a to Allah and he will surely guide you. May Allahmake it easy on you and Grant you Jannah ... Ameen.

  3. Salam alikoum sister first of all let his but go. In islam it is haram to date let alone have sex before marriage hes not true to you so move on and go to the mosque and ask the imam for a husband who fits your need someone whos a real devout muslim man, also pray turn to Allah Before you return to Allah.

    This whole friends with benefits thing does not fit in with being true to yourself, benn in that situation before Islam, and my advice to you is to seriously consider going to the masjid and reading more Quran.
    as long as you follow the sunnah and pray for the evil to be taken out of your lifd Allah sill prevail and he alone will give you the right man for you ok sister.

    you seem like a really nice person, talk to Allah and let this man who plays abut like a shaitans go. Please remind not only yourself but him as well, remind the believers as he believers may benifit from it. I don't know you sister but ill pray for you and I love you and all of the Ummah brothers and sisters alike. Fight for your iman, islam, and deen, read the Quran, also try productive best regards to you.

  4. Salam. The phrase 'once a cheater always a cheater' is very relevant here. If he did it once, he will do it again. And being friends with benefits? You are a smart, educated girl from a respectable family. Imagine, when you were born, your parents had such high hopes you for. They took care of you, gave you the best of everything. Do you want to throw all that away to become someone's mistress? A guy who wants you to be friends with benefits is so not the person for you. You deserve someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with you and make you happy. Imagine how you will feel if you find that guy and have this guilt eating at you that you gave yourself to this person who wants to be friends with benefits.

    Time heals everything. Best if you cut him out of your life. Inshallah, you will be much happier and Allah will bring better people in your life.

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