Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Her wali opposed nikah for non-Islamic reasons

mercy nikah

Hope this message finds you well,

Last year I got married in Pakistan in front of the judge & also in front of the Qazi (ISB) to a girl of the same nationality and religion (age 27, Doctor) after a struggle of 8 years. After which we were both living in the Middle East and more than 300 people were invited in the reception. And countless people are aware about it in  both countries through different social networks and friends.
Her father was against this marriage because I am not from the same family & village, and he was forcing her to marry someone else; so we had to marry without informing her father – wali.  (based on the Shariah knowledge we had).
Earlier this year, while coming back from the honeymoon we stayed in Dubai for a day or two. I dropped her at her friend’s place since, during this visit her family arrived at her friend's place, without my knowledge, they took her back with them.
Now they are saying that our Nikah is Haraam because it was against the parents' concern and they won't let her stay with me because they consider this marriage Haram. I tried my level best but they are now only asking for a separation. I seek your guidance to solve this problem under the light of Shariah Law.

 PS: That her eldest brother was the one who suggested us to go for this marriage, on different occasions and now even he is against us and supporting his father. We both families are the followers of Imam Abu Hanifa school of thought.

I love my wife and I can do anything to fix this marriage.

Please guide us the best possible solution to have a happily married life.

Thanking you in anticipation of your prompt feedback.

 JazakAllah Khairn


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3 Responses »

  1. OP: I dropped her at her friend’s place since, during this visit her family arrived at her friend's place, without my knowledge, they took her back with them.

    Have you talked to your wife after the incidence? What does her friend say about what happened?
    Did you wife take all her jewelry money with her? Do you know if your wife still wants you as a husband? Is she still alive?

    If your wife was taken against her will, that is kidnapping. Has his family threatened to physically harm you?

    How did his family know your wife was going to be at her friends house?

  2. Under Hanafi Law...a man and woman can get their nikkah done without a wali.

    A girl may marry herself although it is advised to have everybody's consent. Nevertheless the Nikkah is still valid.

    You need to stay with your wife and support, I agree with above poster ---try and work out the safety of your wife ( Her parents may have kidnapped her against her will and she may be drugged, abused or even murdered.)

  3. Salam Brother

    That is a very tough situation well all I can say is I understand that you love her, but at this point in time what is her decision with you. Or is it that she just went along with her family cause they were upset that you got married without their consent well her fathers. If you were her father you would be upset if that was your daughter regardless of the reason correct. I am not saying its your fault, its just a misunderstanding, fight for her if you love her. Seriously if you love her make sure she comes back to you, but her father must feel embarrassed or shamed. That happened to me once well I loved a girl but her parents didnt want me for what ever reason I wasnt from the same village. We loved each other, and we parted ways and married different people. I never thought if someone would of told me we wouldnt be together. Here I am married to a great girl 4 years later and I couldnt be happier. I am telling you this because if you dont see the light if it doesnt work out that means there is something better for you seriously. I know everyone always tends to say that, and at the time I didnt understand it or could comprehend it for a matter of fact. All I am saying try to get into contact with the family, and to them like the family of the girl I was in love with they thought of me as the bad guy causing problems since I wasnt taking no for an answer. We waited but I couldnt fight it, since it was me or her family. My brother family is number one even if you do end up running away with her her family will catch up with her. I mean think of her father, he must of felt embarrassed I did that once took the girl I loved and we were going to get married and her father hated me for that. I caused them embarrassment and humiliation that I cant repair. As of now we are enemies supposedly, I am telling you all of this I know love can fool humans, love comes and goes try your best to make it work apologize to the dad I know you might not feel at fault but its her father you know. If it doesnt work out then inshallah kheir theres something better for you seriously. Always pray, and talk to Allah he is always there and listening. Good luck brother inshallah the best is yet to come.

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