Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Interfaith Marriage problems

Christian/Muslim Marriages

I am a Christian woman "married" to a Muslim man. We had a "mu'tah" of which we agreed to 3 months just because i had doubts and wasn't sure if an interfaith marriage would work.

Fast forward to now, it's been 1 year 8 months since and he refuses to go back or makes excuses that his busy and has no time. I have asked so many times if what he is doing is right and he says it's not a big issue. That's only half of my problem.

In this time I have spent with him there's been many difficulties and confusion. He says it's because i don't understand him but that's not it. He has put up so many restrictions and i am left feeling like a prisoner. I've tried to meet his high standards but it all seems to be in vain. He criticises my every move, degrades me and is constantly complaining. I also have to deal with his extreme jealousy (even over my siblings) and his anger out burts, it seems even the slighest thing ticks him off. I've talked to him so many times lovingly but he's responses are always he doesn't care and he wants what he wants or he doesn't want to change for anyone or anything. I thought he would understand the many changes and sacrifices I've had to make but that's not the case. He says he doesn't want to leave me and loves me, I love him too. I need advice I can't keep hurting in silence it's getting the best of me.

Lastly, I have fallen in love with islam. That's what has gotten me the through so many issues. I know for every question I could possibly have there's a definite answer and that has helped me understand a lot. I have been feeling this thing just pushing me towards the path of converting but I fear for the unknown. I don't want to be alone and wish I had support but unfortunately he's not a strong follower.

 


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6 Responses »

  1. It's very clear to me what you need to do: Run away from this man as fast as you can. Life is too short, and too full of good men, to waste on jerks that treat you like garbage. I don't understand where your self-respect is...a woman who values herself would never spend a year, or even a day, tolerating the kind of treatment this man is giving you. I say man and not husband, because your marriage expired ages ago (in that it was only supposed to last 3 months, and these months are up). And what do you do with expired things? You toss them away.

    This man is not husband material...and I don't understand why you want to make things work with him when you have said nothing but bad things about him. When I talk about my husband I sometimes barely remember any of his annoying habits or qualities, because they are really that insignificant compared to his amazing qualities.

    I suggest that you leave this man be, cut contact with him entirely and focus on yourself and your own life. Focus on improving your self-esteem and your standards in men...and on Islam, if you are interested in learning more about the religion.

    Good luck with everything.

  2. it's been 1 year 8 months since and he refuses to go back or makes excuses that his busy and has no time. I have asked so many times if what he is doing is right and he says it's not a big issue........ He has put up so many restrictions and i am left feeling like a prisoner. I've tried to meet his high standards but it all seems to be in vain. He criticizes my every move, degrades me and is constantly complaining.

    Where is he supposed to go? What country he comes from? Why you think you need this man who is putting restrictions in your life, degrades you and constantly complains. I hope you are not his ticket to citizenship or PR in a Western country.

    Muta is more like an agreement to have sex for a mutually decided period

  3. If you have done Mutaah well than as per the agreement or so, the specific time must have been mentioned on it. Follow that
    And get away from all this nuisance.

    And by the way, just out of curiosity were you with all the Eligibility criteria which is required for MutaaH to take place ?

  4. Temporary marriage ??? Is this even halal. Who gave you fatwa to let this happen ?

    • Temporary marriages (Mutah Marriages) are haraam .These are not allowed in Islam .

      https://islamqa.info/en/20738

    • Yes, this is what I was thinking.
      Looking at the above posts, I was a little surprised that others are accepting it. mu'ta marriage is still a thing?? Was it not stopped by our Holy Prophet?

      I think it is our Shi'a brothers and sisters who allow it, but Sunnis do not and do not accept it either.
      Please correct me if I'm wrong.

      Your curious sister
      X

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