Islamic marriage advice and family advice

His parents refuse me because of different caste; please help

Posted by • June 15, 2013 • Printer-friendly

Islam strictly prohibits Racism on any basis

asalam alaikum

I'm 27 years old and I'm in a relationship with a boy we both love each other very much since last more than three years. we both are well settled and working. he is in a good job and earning well and from a very good family. we both are Sunni Muslims but he belongs to a high caste then mine and that is the issue. he has already talked about us to his parents they are fine with me and family but only there problem is my caste. and which is why they seems to be not interested though she (his mother) has not said no yet but we cannot live without each other even if we get married to anyone else i wont be able to be a wife or keep him happy and that will be spoiling his life and mine as well and that's what i don't want. i kindly request you to suggest me a dua so that i can pray that our parents to approve our relation nicely plz..... and help us getting married ASAP insha allah.

jazakallah,

Qadar.


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2 Responses »

  1. Abu Abdul Bari
    June 17, 2013 • 11:53 am

    Assalamu'alaikum sister,

    There are no castes in Islam. It is a Hindu system that brahmins are high caste and shudras are lower caste. This is highly discouraged and unrecognized in Islam.

    All Muslims are equal are none is superior to other, except by Taqwa and Imaan. If one practices Islam from Quran and Sunnah, there is no problem with marriage.

    Sister, it is difficult to change people's mindet concerning castes. This man must find a learned person among his family memebers or outside, who understands this and will help him.

    But sister, make sure that this "love" does not take you to extremism, which means that it becomes a fitnah in disguise. It may take you away from the deen, so beware.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    Reply
  2. Amy
    June 17, 2013 • 5:48 pm

    Salaams,

    You said they are "fine with you" and his mother "hasn't said no". All you mentioned is that they seem to have a "lack of interest" in you.

    I'm wondering if maybe you are misinterpreting things? Perhaps you are worried that they might not accept you when in reality you have nothing to worry about. Their "lack of interest" could be a misperception on your part, or it could be attributable to something else altogether.

    In my experience on this website, if the parents do have an issue with a prospective spouse (for any reason) they are usually pretty outspoken about letting it be known. Certainly they aren't going to be ok with someone, or they will absolutely say "no" from the beginning and it will be clear where they stand. Since this hasn't happened in your case, I suggest you try to look at things a little more objectively and patiently let time reveal the course this prospective marriage is on.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    Reply

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