Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Something gone too wrong

Pregnant woman depressed

Salam Aleikum

Dear visitators i want to write something about my life.Im not muslim but i wish if im born me again that i have my parents muslim and i follow fhe Quran.

So,i'm from Europe ,i meet whit one muslim boy in Europe,the first time we just meet after we move togheder,he told me everithing that is haram we move togheder before marriage i told i dont care here is not haram.So we live like this 3 years half,slowly slowly he teach me everithing about the Quran he open my eyes about our book the Bible.Whatewere.He dont have visum he stay in Europe like asyl he is very honest ,sincerly whit me ,he told everithing true about he family ,he age.He never dont want that we marry because he want to prove me that he is not whit me for visum!3 time we want but we dont go that we marry in this time insee he Nikah papir that he is not marry in he land/this also he told me.

I feel me proud that he told me the truth all time.We have very hard time because he cant work and we stay in rent house also,just me i work alone ,i send he family money ,for my family also and we try to survive here also.Is not easily but we are in love and i make everithing for him.

After 3 half years this country where we are they deport him back in he country because he stay illegal 2 year he is 5 years in Europe ,3 years legaly and 2 illegal ,im whit him in this time when he have permision to stay and when they take back also the permision to stay more in Europe.We stay like this togheder more 2 years,never we dont think that they will deport him back!In this time when they send him back i have 20weeks pregnancy i cant do nothing for him because we are not marry!I hope nobody dont think that is haram child😯.He want so much this child me me just 50%because im think me that we dont have enought money for use how we can survive whit one child also!

We go one time when i know it the first months that im.pregnant to try to make abortion but when i hear that is so much expensiv and i see that my boyfriend he is crying so much i keep the child just for him,and because i think if we dont think about the pregnancy when we sleep togheder why i take one life which dont have foul.Is haram to make abortion in Bible also in Quran also.

So i have 20weeks when they deport him back,now i have 31 weeks pregnancy ,we talk all time in messenger all night he leave the video that i can see him ,in the day also everithing is good he call me that i see!

But he have 7day in this moment that he told me he have stres whit he uncles because they want to sale one big place and how he dont give the he permission the uncles try to make him problems!He told me that is so big stres and he leave me like this he write me never i cant understand him!How i can to understand when he leave me for this place he dont talk more whit me ,he dont attend the call more ,he dont write me nothing more😢sometime he told me he dont want haram child but he told nice words also about this child!Me i dont disturb him more never in my life,im girl i can not run for one boy who dont want us and he dont want to have contact whit us,who forget that how much i help him and he mother and sister!

I hope just Allah give him punishment that he use me and now he leave me for all!

Because for him is more important this sale place then me and he child!

Peace be whit all us.

Me i trust in God that he will give me power i grow up this child and he follow the Quran!

 

 

 

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4 Responses »

  1. Insha Allah, you will be guided and accept Islam. And your child will be born healthy. I will be honest and tell you the man you are involved with may not be as nice as you think. Any man who is a decent Muslim will not have a haraam relationship with a woman for years, and be this neglectful failing to marry her. It is sad to say, but many men travel abroad, enjoy the freedom that a non-Islamic society offers and takes advantage of it. The man you were involved with was living off of you, gave you a baby and is now whining that he can not return to be a good father and husband. If you were a friend of mine, I would offer to help you in whatever way I could AND tell you to forget about this good for nothing fake Muslim who has taken advantage of your naivete and abandoned you. It is so painful and harsh and may seem like you can not, but end this relationship and tell him that you don't want to continue the haraam love affair but that the least he can do is send child support. Nothing else. He probably will not do even that. In the end, count yourself lucky. The man is a rat. You don't need someone like this in your life.

  2. Walaikumasalaam.

    “Kill not your children because of poverty — We provide sustenance for you and for them”
    [al-An’aam 6:151]

    “And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin”
    [al-Isra’ 17:31]

    “And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

    And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine.”

    [al-Talaq 65:2-3]

    “And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: ‘If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allah), I will give you more (of My Blessings); but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers), verily, My punishment is indeed severe.’”

    [Ibraheem 14:7]

    Quran 13:28 Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured."
    13:29 Those who have believed and done righteous deeds - a good state is theirs and a good return.
    13:30 Thus have We sent you to a community before which [other] communities have passed on so you might recite to them that which We revealed to you, while they disbelieve in the Most Merciful. Say, "He is my Lord! La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He)! Upon Him I rely, and to Him is my return."

    Quran 20:124 And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind."
    20:125 He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?"
    20:126 [ Allah ] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten."
    20:127 And thus do We recompense he who transgressed and did not believe in the signs of his Lord. And the punishment of the Hereafter is more severe and more enduring.

    Quran 35:6 Indeed, Satan is an enemy to you; so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the Blaze.
    35:7 Those who disbelieve will have a severe punishment, and those who believe and do righteous deeds will have forgiveness and great reward.

    Sister, revert to Islam, you shall have no worry whatsoever in raising you child and Allah will replace the person who left you with a Pious Husband. That child is Haram for him, not you if you revert to Islam and you will have your sins forgiven.
    Allah has promised success in this life and hereafter for believers. And Allah says in the Quran:

    Quran 39:53 Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."

  3. I really think this man isn't as honest, good, pious and wonderful as you believe he is. To me, he sounds like he's everything you claim he's not: He is a user, liar and a hypocrite. The warning signs were there from the beginning, sister, you just chose not to see them:

    - He was an illegal in your country. If he was a proper man, he would have sought asylum the proper and right way

    - He had no job (and if he did, his money would have been illegal and haram, because in most countries you are not allowed to earn an income without a permit and without contributing to the tax system)

    - He took money off of you (by allowing you to financially support him, put a roof over his head and to send his family money - even though they are not your responsibility in any way, shape or form!)

    - He preached to you about Islam, haram and halal, and right and wrong - all while committing zina with you, being an illegal immigrant, taking your money, impregnating you outside the bond of marriage. Yeah, what a great Muslim he is...what an Islam expert.

    - He fooled you for years by enjoying the perks of marriage, but refusing to marry you.

    - Using his life situation as an easy excuse to abandon you and your child.

    What did ever lead you to believe that there are anything positive about this man? :/ If I was your friend in real life, I would have forbidden you to even talk to him, lol. Not the kind of man I'd want my loved ones to end up with.

  4. Which part of Europe are you from ? Its so very difficult to understand 70% of the thing that you have written. I am so sorry for it but its really difficult to understand.

    Its "WITH" and not "WHIT".. That WHIT WHIT written by you makes me feel drowsy reading it. Anyways

    As far as what i have understood..

    It has been a complete Haram Relationship. Get over him.. Did you go to see yourself PERSONALLY in the country where he is in to check if his uncles are really bothering him and all about the property mishap? Did you visualize it by your own eyes going there ? I dont know you sister neither do i know that man of yours.. But all i can say is.. HE IS LIEING.. whatever he has been telling you is all FAKE. Get over him..

    Now as far as the child is concerned.. You should make yourself capable enough to look after it and get him/her in this world and take utmost care. May be that is the only way of repentance.. Later find an appropriate decent groom and get married.. but before marrying make sure you disclose every single thing to that person.. a God fearing.. well mannered person will definately understand your past situation and spend his whole life with you and your child.

    MAY ALLAH (SWT) BLESS YOU !!

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