Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Why divorce?


Salam,i am 23 years old. I got married 2 years ago. In marriage there were many on and off moments. The man whom I married it was a second marriage with me. He and his parents were very demanded. When ever we argue he used to hit me and after that he used to hit himself. As a husband he can't protect me.
I think as a couple he love me only for his sexuall desires. I don't know whether his love was true or not anyway after many ups and downs he gave me a divorce without informing me he sent a divorce letter at my home
After completing my iddhat period my parent find a proposal for me like other girls I thought my life would be settle but I was wrong. The man with whom I married second time he was good for me for just two days after that he told me that he have jinnat with him and he can't live with me. Every night he used to give me a divorce and in morning he don't talks to me. He used to send me home every second day. It was only a week drama I beg before him I cried that please don't give me divorced but after a week when he sent me home he sent me a divorce letter by whatsapp messenger
I am too much depressed. Although 3 months have been passed but I can't move on . I want to kill my self. I don't find any purpose of living in this world. In both the marriages I prayed, I did wazifas but nothing worked.


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5 Responses »

  1. Aselam u alaikum,

    I'm very sorry that you've had two unfortunate experiences of marriage. May Allah brighten your future.

    Please don't feel like that! The purpose of life is not marriage. Please do not feel that marriage hasn't worked out, so there is no purpose left!

    Love yourself and enjoy life! Work on strengthening your relationship with Allah, focus on getting closeness to Allah. Perform ibadah, ibadah will give you peace, love and happiness. Build your relationship with Allah- that is the purpose of life.

    So it hasn't worked out twice. Who says it may not work out the next time? Maybe there is something better around the corner!
    Please have hope, my dear sister! And remember, that Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear. So you are a strong person, and you do not need a man to define or justify your existence!

    Things will get better. Allah taAla tells us in the Quran that 'inna ma'al usri yusra'- that surely, after Hardship will be ease.
    So you are experiencing a difficult and stressful time, but things will start getting better, in sha Allah.
    the grey skies will clear up to let the sun shine brightly. X

    Your sis in Islam x

  2. Dear sister,
    As per my sincere advice you should take charge of your life. If you are depressed then seek medical & spiritual help. Pursue education & groom yourself. Don't fall for any proposal unless you do istikara yourself & feel really comfortable at heart. You are a mature woman now and must take decisions of your own life very wisely. Plz take your time & don't run after marriage. There are plenty of single & divorced women living independently & happily. Marriage is not the end of life. Women have to understand that! Find your purpose in life. Allah swt has kept something better for you. Find it.

  3. You are only 23 and you have already been married and divorced twice? It's not normal, sister. You need to stop jumping from one man to another, marriage is not a joke. You're making a mockery out of the concept of marriage, and you're making yourself unhappy in the process. It sounds to me like you think your happiness is to be found in men...but that's not true. A man is never going to make you happy, if you are not happy within yourself. And you're certainly never going to find happiness in fast marriages. It's like fast may give you instant gratification, but the next day you feel sluggish and fat.

    You need to accept your mistakes and focus on working on yourself, instead of worrying about your next husband. Nobody is perfect, and for as long as we are alive, it's our responsibility to better and improve ourselves constantly. You are a project, and you have to work on it always.

    • The lady's parents married her to each of her ridiculous husbands. She may or may not have had the kind of relationship or personality to protest getting married. It seems that the men he married wanted someone to have sex with and then sent her away, and they are the ones to be criticized.

  4. So you want to kill your self because of some ruthless worthless men and go to jahannam for them? You need to learn to love yourself though not much and please don't rely on men to give you happiness and better life. If you feel so unhappy you have to stop relying on men for happiness and rely completely on Allah and pray to him that life you want to take billions are fighting to stay alive. Sometimes it's shaitan say audhubilla.

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