IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

Assalamu alaikkum

Hello this is a mother of 2 boys. One aged 3 and the other aged 4. I was suffered too much in my life. I married the one whom I loved with my parent's permission but they were not happy with my choice. After marriage, he treated me very cruely by giving all forms of abuse like emotional, physical and mental abuse from the 5 th day of the marriage. I tolerated everything because I only made this choice. I hidden everything completely from my family. Meanwhile, without my knowledge, he spoiled my name in my house by telling wrong information abt me. I came to know this only after my 1st baby born. After that, I was in the anger, put everything out from my heart. My family members were shocked about hearing things from me. They blamed me why dont you tell it before. Finally, because for my son, I decided to live together.

Immediately I conceived my 2nd son. In that period, he left me like an orphan without looking back to us when my mom went to singapore. Then after that so many incidents happened. So I stopped talking for 1 and half years. Then after, one day ,he came to me and asked to forgive him for the sins he did to me. First, I refused because that much I suffered by him very cruelly. I even met the death phase by his cruelity. Again, keeping babies on mind, I accepted to live together. Then he went to saudi immediately after 20 days.

Then I brought him back to our country to live a happy life even with a less money. We started living together in a nearby city. In this period, I found him very disgusting. He is a selfish, not even caring about the babies. He does not care me even when I am suffering from illness. Also he is not ready to ask how are you? He is not responsible also. He is not giving any money for us but he took our money without our knowledge and did not return back. Also is untruthful and lying. In the meanwhile, he is spoiling my name outside to hide his mistakes. His nature is he always roams outside for no reasons, he is in fond of social networking. He may forget us but not the whatsup and facebook. I am doing all thing by myself. I am going to the super market, eb office, school for admission, bringing my babies out, taking care of my babies in, and all other things whatever is there. I am doing everything alone. I was depressed for many years. Just before 2 months, I visited psychiatrist to get rid from the depression. Now I am better than before. I am in this decision for over 6 months. Now I am very clear that we cannot live with him. I dont like him. I hate the time spend with him. I was not happy even in my pregnancy period. I am aware that divorce is the most hated of the lawful things to Allah. Is it permissible for me to ask divorce for tbe reasons I described above. Please help me with your reply. Salaam.

Zeezee