Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Destroyed

Hadith on Suicide

I have had a very turbulent life since I was little but have had mini good patches in between.

My dad suffered an injury which has made him mentally disabled when we were little and our life’s turned upside down. He was very religious,charitable and kind hence when he fell ill, a lot of people came forward and prayed. We cried and we prayed for years but our circumstances didn’t change.our mothers looks after him full time and has sacrificed her own life for him. As we grew up,people told us our prayers will be granted in the form of blessings for his children as God doesn’t turn you down.

I got married after various problems myself but kept my faith strong untill I reached a point in my life recently when I had everything one can dream of and than absolutely shattered with an illness of my own. I have very little children of my own and Iam stuck in a strange undiagnosed illness where I can’t function. I have been trying and praying madly for a year but I am in severe pain and have fatigue which is not getting better with anything. it has started bringing back bad memories now and Iam seeing my little kids suffer like we did.

I don’t have any help, my family has turned away, my husband has not supported and despite me begging Allah every day and every night as well as my mum and little children-nothing is changing. God brings therapists and people to me to give me hope, I get up and try but fall down again as if He is teasing and breaking me more. my illness is not getting diagnosed either which is giving people a chance to accuse me of faking it while Iam suffering debilitating body pain and weakness.I have seen the best of the best medics but they are clueless.

i wasn’t depressed before but I have reached a state where I have lost hope and the love I have had for Allah to rely on. I feel like I have been deserted by His mercy. I am dying and my kids are suffering. I don’t even have strength to feed them at times. I feel like Allah is making them suffer like He made us suffer as if He is repeating the same cycle is cruel. I have screamed, cried and begged for mercy, forgiveness, direction and help and the more I have done it, the more He has thrown me around. Seeing me like this has added to my mums suffering to as if she hadn’t had her share of them.

At the same time, Allah has amazingly blessed people around me, more the ones who have shut their eyes to my sufferings and left me in difficult times. One of my own sisters has emotionally thrashed me around telling me that Iam mentally disturbed and the cause of worry for my mum. It all started with an injury which didn’t heal properly and has now caused me widespread debilitating pain which has caused me situational depression now. I am trying everything but Allah is not making me better. I am angry, hurt and bitter now and think it’s unfair on me and my children and mum. I have started getting suicidal thoughts now. I feel like if I am finished than my dark shadow of curse will be lifted from everyone’s life.

God doesn’t love me at all. I am wasted. Have no desire to live. Chances are that I’d do suicide before I get a reply here but at least I have written my thoughts somewhere. My husband has no supported me through this either by Gods Will and thinks of me as baggage.

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9 Responses »

  1. Sister its just a medical condition. Everyone passes through that phase..
    I think you must check with your diabetes (sugar levels) fasting as well as Post Lunch
    Also you must control on your diet.. turn vegeterian for few days without oil see the difference.

    I said that since you said it all started with an injury which didnt heal properly.. and hence it spread into pain completely. You must keep a regular check on your diabetes. What kind of injury was that ?

    Also there is no need to lose hope and think to do something crapy you probably wouldnt have the time to regret hereafter too. Sorry for being blunt but thats how it is. Raise your WILLPOWER there is always a remedy to everything if your WILLPOWER is strong. To the hell with others around, think for yourself and your children. You are more than capable enough to look after your ownself and your childrens. Who are they going to look at or rely on if you start having obnoxious thinking ?

    So just be brave. Nothing has happened to you. Its just that your WILLPOWER lacks.. make it strong and see wonders happening. This is my CHALLENGE to you. Wake up from your thoughts and live a beautiful life so long that you will end up playing with your grand daughters and Grand sons 🙂 INSHA ALLAH. AMEEN . SUM AMEEN !!

  2. Salam
    Allah is testing you please do not end life or think negative in it this world allah will give you hereafter. We go through so much in life but allah knows best. Your problem are not less which I do not deny but have faith and everything will be ok.

  3. You're having difficulties dealing with pain and depression. Imagine what you are suffering from now multiplied hundreds of times - that's what you will get in hell if you go through with suicide. Suicide is therefore not a solution if you believe in the Quran and Allah.

    What I am concerned about is this undiagnosed illness, an injury that does not heal. I assume your doctors have done all the usual tests, including tests for diabetes etc.

    Have you been to someone who does treatment for sihr (black magic), that could be worth checking out. Sihr does exist, its mentioned in the quran and your undiagnosed illness is a prime candidate for sihr treatment. In fact you injury could have been caused by sihr and the pain that followed. As the injury was perceived by you to be an accident you won't think its cause and the pain that followed could be due to sihr, but it could easily be that. Jinns are devious, if you started getting all this pain without the injury, you would eventually look for a sihr healer. But because the pain started with the accident you would never think so, and therein lies the deception.

    My advice to you, please seek out a good sihr healer, someone with a proven track record and get their help. Beware, there are so many conmen in this field.

  4. Dear my loving sister Allah test as based upon our level...Just have patience and trust Allah. nothing will happen just keep calm.....Better days are a head don't worry u will be granted with happiness...From Allah

  5. Salaam sister, suicide is no way the solution to your problem. In fact, it will make your hereafter worse than you can imagine. So please take that out of your mind. Secondly, your condition seems like it could be evil eye or even magic since there is no diagnostic of the illness. You need to get hold of someone that does ruqya or even try do it yourself.

    I understand that you have gone through a lot of difficulty sister. May Allah make it easy for you. Remember Allah trials as he wills and he says if you can bear it with patience, then the reward for you will be paradise. So please just see it as temporary life that might be a struggle but it is not the real life.

    • Salam sister have faith in Allah sucide is not the solution to your problems think about your kids i understand you gone through a lot but please think about your kids your parents
      May Allah make it easy for you remember after dark they is always light

  6. Firstly may Allah reward you for your share of problems in health , if you cannot see your kids suffering now , how are you ok with leaving them in this world without you then ? You think somebody will come miracalously and look after them . Suicide is not a solution , its just giving up .
    Now coming to your health , not getting a diagnosis is fine , there are so many undiagnosed illness out there , doctors are humans and our knowledge is limited.
    I am a medical doctor and during 4th year of my med school i experienced mildly what you tell about, i had some injury i ignored (it was pain only no bleeding or anything ) and then for one year i went from doctor to doctor to the hospital attached with my med college , got all the tests done and i was undiagonsed, i started to look terrible because there was pain but no diagnosis
    .. after one year i was told that one of my muscle might be torn .. so i went to physiotherapist under supervised care which made me so much better but i injured my knee once exercising with them. Because of prolonged pain and no proper excersie , fatigue this was the state of my body it gave up on me and while in the healing process there goes my knee . But i kept going , and realized our bodies need more than meds , studies and all and alhumdulilah i am in a better place now .
    I said earlier doctors are human , so take charge of your health in a proper way , there are so many books out there on diet and what ot does to you. I would highly recommend going through prophetic medicine books and adopting a prophetic diet , i am not sure if i can give tips herw on what to eat and what not to . So many muslim doctors have written on it . Introduce oat meal , nabeez , olive oil in your life . Keep away from all processed oils , the vegetable oils are from genetically modified sources and that is t good for you . Read surah falaq and surah naas in abundance do a lot of istagfar .
    There might be some serious fungal or yeast infection or something like insulin resistance with normal blood tests. All this is treatable , it will require research and dedication. Also if yoo are not diabetic eat 3 - 7 dates every day . If you can get access to zam zam drink it with the intention of curing yourself , remain in wudu the most of times
    May Allah give you shifa. Ameen
    I would look into magic too but please be weary of people who ask you for yoir mother name or any piece of cloth , they are a scam .

  7. That was your test, and now this test is over. Success is waiting for you. be courageous pay thanks to Allah for every thing.
    Your good time has started. You have been paased into your test.

    Regards,
    Dr Majeed Bhatti
    lahore Pakistan

  8. Salaam sister. How are you? Please let us know. Please look into getting Ruqaya done ASAP and be steadfast in your prayer, trust Allah , he will help you through his promise!

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