Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Girl is not accepting marriage proposal

She keeps rejecting me

I am in love with girl for 2 years, I proposed her directly 02 times but she refused that she can not marry because I am not from her country and there is cultural difference huge. I have been asked from Molvi  to perform salatul istakhara for long time, but no result .

1. One night I was sleeping, I saw she in dream and she suddenly agreed to marry me, just after I saw 2-3 dogs were trying to attack me/ bite me and then I awaken. It was time of 2:30 in night. On that night I didn't prayed salatul istakhara.

2. For others night (countless) I performed salatul istakhara, but didn't see any thing.

3. I requested to one Molvi to perform istakhara and he got result in dream in negative.

4. Molvi told me you can marry that girl on powers of dua & wazeefas, but marraige will result in end, since he find in istakhara.

5. I am really in trouble because she works in same company and I am really destrubed for last 02 years.

please tell me whether I need to continue perform duas/ Quranic wazaifa to get and marry her or to accept decree of Almighty Allah if it is.

i know marriage shall only be successful if helps came only from Allah other wise will be difficult.

since I love her and AlhamaduAllah I didn't give up , I am hoping Almighty Allah will make easy for me.

what is your suggestion s??

zahid

 


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24 Responses »

  1. Love Is nvr one-sided

    • There are no such things as Wazifas in Islam.

      We all have free will granted by Allah. If that girl doesn't want to marry you, no amount of Dua'a or Istikhara can change her mind.

      My advice to you is to forget about her. Pray to Allah to heal you and move on.

      • No you can not say that there is no wazeefa or dua,s in islam in a HADIEH "Dua is a weapon of momin" you can change fate by dua ok but it is true you should not marry with such a person who do not like you but we become emotional and want to marry him/her

        • So sister Sofi, you are saying that if I like you and you do not like me back, then I can do Dua and Wazeefa and change your fate and God will give you to me? God will not think about your feelings, needs, and likes? Wow.

          Sister do you think that God is unfair, unjust, and merciless?

          This is disgusting for see that a sister herself would say something like that. Women have rights in Islam.

          So if my dua and wazeefa will make God change his mind, then it seems like you are saying that a person, through Dua knows more than God is more powerful than God which will make God change his mind? . (NaOuzubillah).

          Sister, your statements and concepts of Islam are borderline Kufr. Please do not come on here giving this kind of advice to Muslims until you have studied, understood, and know about Islam and about basic concepts. This kind of ignorance is unacceptable and you will lead others astray which is a big sin and you will end up destroying your akharrah. There is no excuse for such ignorance in a time like today when literally all of the world's knowledge is right at your fingertips. Please enlighten yourself.

        • So sister Sofi, you are saying that if I like you and you do not like me back, then I can do Dua and Wazeefa and change your fate and God will give you to me? God will not think about your feelings, needs, and likes? Wow.

          Sister do you think that God is unfair, unjust, and merciless?

          This is disgusting for see that a sister herself would say something like that. Women have rights in Islam.

          So if my dua and wazeefa will make God change his mind, then it seems like you are saying that a person, through Dua knows more than God is more powerful than God which will make God change his mind? . (NaOuzubillah).

          Sister, your statements and concepts of Islam are borderline Kufr. Please do not come on here giving this kind of advice to Muslims until you have studied, understood, and know about Islam and about basic concepts. This kind of ignorance is unacceptable and you will lead others astray which is a big sin and you will end up destroying your akharrah. There is no excuse for such ignorance in a time like today when literally all of the world's knowledge is right at your fingertips. Please enlighten yourself.

  2. Grow up.

    If she doesn't like you, what about this do you not understand?

    The molvi who told you about "duas and wazeefas" is an uneducated fool..!! Do you think Allah is unfair and would ruin the girl's life just because YOU performed duas and wazeefas? What about her likes, feelings, thoughts, and aspirations? Maybe she is closer to Allah than you and Allah is protecting her.

    Women are NOT objects that you can attain or buy. They have rights.

    Maybe she likes someone else.

    Forget her and do not insult her again by approaching her again.

    If you cannot bare seeing her at work and if it hurts, you need to resign and find another employer.

    And you do NOT love her because you are not respecting her wishes and happiness and you want to force her. You are ONLY thinking about yourself.

    All this also shows that you are not mature and not ready for marriage to anyone.

  3. Why are you become rude it is true may be she is better than his may be he is better than her so they both not suitable for each other but we can not say that he is not mature and not respecting her may be it is not true that he is not serious about her if he is not serious about her why he post here for help. Brother Zahid you should leave her it is very difficult for you but it is better for you and for her and you should dua that ALLAH help you for forget her in this way you should read DROOD SHAREEF AND ISTEGHFAAR in countless if you both like each other then you should do istekhara but now mot bcz she do not like u if she like you and istekhata result result in negative and again istekhara result be in positive after you perform two rakah of need till one week or three days and perform istekhara the result will in positive IN SHALLAH i also perform saala tul hajaat just 3days after maghrib prayer and perform istekhara the result was in positive

    • Not being rude but being truthful. This is exactly what Zahid needs to hear and this is exactly how he needs to hear this. I am not sugar coating anything. I am being to the point.

      He wants to attain her at any cost without any regards to her wishes and likes. A woman is not an object that you can buy or attain. She is a person, a human and has her own likes, dreams, and aspirations.

      She told him "NO". If he goes after her again and again, he is showing great disrespect to her.

      She has said "NO" two times to him.

      Does she need to become rude and tell her boss and get him fired? If he keeps approaching her, than this is workplace abuse. She has a right to work without being abused.

      • I do not know you are brother or sister but if you read my comments carefully i am not saying get her if she does not want but i say different thing that dua and wazeefa are powerfull what we make dua from another got no we make dua for change fate and ALLAH can do if it is better for us i did not said that he get her by dua or wazeefa bcz she is not show piece,he can make dua that if it is better for me or i better for her or she is better for me than she accept my proposal bcz ALLAH can change heart condition if both are suitable for each other and he choose a good way he propose her not force her that she say yes he respect her i do not know i astary people i show wrong concept of islam NAAOOSBILLAH i can not do this if i say wrong thing without my knowladge so i say sorry to all but it is not my purpose. .I reply to WARGLAIVES read above my comments again not i denied her wishes and respect i said if both man and woman want to marry and both agree on this proposal then they want marry if their families do not agree they can make dua and read wazeefa for marriage that both families agree on this proposal if girl or boy not agree than we can see different angle. If you understand urdu i can share a link with you that saala tul hajaat can change .If both boy and girl agree on this proposal i am not declaring i am scholar no i am not . We can not say he is not sincere with her ALLAH KNOWS BEST .if i say wrong i say sorry again

        • I think in this plateform we need help others being politely and use words soft when we help others ,people visit here for help so we say them welcome and try to solve their problems and if someone help them then bear others if someone wrong in saying then say them in polite way not use rude words and i visit here for knowledge and help others and i am learning here and also i learned here so much and came to know in my knowledge people specially women are suffer so much ,so we need to help each other and add knowledge and not become rude during correcting others

          • Sister, I am a brother.

            I hate that men think that they can have power over women. This is the reason why sisters must still fight for their rights 1400 years after Islam gave rights to women.

            I hate men who control women.

            I hate men who pursue sisters even after they say no.

            Being nice to men like these only encourages their behavior. This has to stop.

        • Dear sister Sofi,
          Maybe I did not understand your English correctly. For that I apologize.
          Your brother in Islam.

          • Ok i am happy that you think about woman in positive way .I also hate that men that give not right women .

  4. Brother Zahid,

    You sound like a good and righteous man, but your efforts are going to be fruitless with this woman. I'm sure she's very beautiful and moves you in a way that excites and inspires you, just like all men when they see their dream women. However, although she might be a nice woman, she doesn't want to be with you, and that's a serious problem or obstacle in your path. It may be true that you are not from her country and there are cultural differences between you, but the real reason she's not accepting your proposals is that she doesn't like you. If she liked you, the differences wouldn't matter so much and she'd probably take the risk of accepting you into her life, even if you were not a righteous man. You must leave her alone, for your own sake. You cannot be friends with her, either. Because you work at the same place, be polite, but do not hang around her or hold conversations because such things will benefit her alone and not benefit you at all. If you don't stop trying, things will get worse and you'll be wasting precious time out of your life that you could be spending on someone else. Try your best to meet and speak to other women that you like, as maybe one them will like (inshallah) you. Your continued attempts will be futile. I hope you heed the advice given by everyone here. All the best in your search for some else!

  5. Assalaamualaikam

    If this woman has declined your proposal, then regardless of your own views on wanting to marry her, you need to respect her choice. Make dua for both of you and trust that Allah will guide you both to what is best for you in this life and the next. While this might not be what you want, place your trust in Allah and let her go if that is what she wants.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  6. STOP harassing the poor girl and making her life difficult. She has said NO ... NO means NO. It does not mean MAYBE, it does NOT mean try again. SHE SAID NO.

    LEAVE .... HER ... ALONE.

    STOP making her life difficult you PSYCHO.

  7. You should get a new Job and move on with your life, you do not 'love' this girl because you don't know her, other then on face value, and that is not 'love', you have seen a girl who your attracted too, but she isn't attracted to you, there are no tricks or duas around that, and anybody who tells you there is, is lying...

    I think a lot of men, seem to think that when they see a girl their attracted to, the girl should submit to them and accept any proposals or interest that they have in them, if your a person who basis your desire to marry someone solely on how they look, which you clearly are, you really shouldn't be upset when you go for someone who is a ten, when your a two and they reject you on the basis of what they consider a lack of beauty on your part.......... women look for in men, what men seek in women,

    honestly it doesn't seem like you ready for marriage anyway, you have seen a girl at work you have taken a fancy too, and for 2 years you have been disturbed over it? sorry but your going to need to mature a little for marriage, women are not objects that men should feel disturbed over, if they cannot have for themselves.... also, you should not be approaching Muslim women to make a proposal, you approach their wali, how do you think her father will feel, when she tells him, some guy at work asked me to marry him today dad? that is not how Islamic marriage works.... you do not approach the girl...

    you should learn about Istikhara, clearly you have no idea what it is and when it should be performed....... what were you seeking Allahs counsel on, when the girl said no???

    • Hahaha ..

      It seems everybody is blasting him for his multiple attempts .

      Probably he thinks in first attempt she probably was not sure and in later few attempts she might feel OK .

      I think nobody has seen a case where in a first attempt itself a girl is going to say yes ,yes ,yes .I love you .

      Bro ,
      I think if you don't cross certain boundaries and doesn't trouble girl and try luck in next attempts without creating uncomfortable situation then i think its OK for some time ..(Not dragging it too much)

      Most of the time a good personality and wealth will attract a woman and if you are not in that league its very difficult for you to get what you want .

      • Star,
        I disagree. The girl also gave him a clear cut reason. She might have been being nice about bringing up cultural differences. Maybe in reality she doesn't like his face or she maybe likes someone else but being nice.

        Two times is enough attempts. Any more attempts is abuse and disrespect.

        Men still don'r respect women even after 1400 years. Sad.

    • To sister Asma,
      Agree..!! Exactly what I said above.

      Your brother in Islam

  8. Brother you need to know what salatul istikhara is ,first of all.

  9. Maybe you should make prayers asking Allah to guide you better. If a woman says No twice, consider that she pretty much means No. She does not have to give you any explanation. No is enough. Find another lady to consider marriage. In the meantime, make extra prayers asking Allah to give you better insight and understanding how adults should behave, how men who want to get married should conduct themselves and how to treat women with respect. That means if a woman says something, that you accept it. You do not want people to consider you the creepy guy, the wierdo, the man who can accept a woman saying No.

  10. I m a muslim educated girl n i like a guy for 12 years and my parents don't like him and now they are forcing me to marry the person of there choice but i am not happy. What shall i do?

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