Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Madly in love with a Muslim guy; who got married recently but I still want to be with him.

extramarital affair, illicit affair, two wives

I have been with a Muslim guy for 67 months and we love each other so much. I am a Christian and obviously his parents won't agree with me being his wife. We had plans of getting married but even my boyfriend ask me to do it secretly, at first I told him I will wait till his family will accept me. But, we had a big fight recently, telling him I will be going back home and never to return to him again; which was not true. Of course I just did so that he will do something about our relationship and be legalize to his family as soon as possible. Too afraid he might lose me, he ask for emergency leave in his company and went back to his home country. A day before he leaves I thought we are okay but there were some premonitions that something is still wrong between the two of us but I ignored them as I wanted to spend a day with him before he left. When he came back he was totally changed; he didn't even tell me he was back, I just found out my self. When I opened his email; to my surprise. I saw his wedding photo.

10 days in his country and they managed to have the wedding ceremony done. I was so angry and told him ill kill my self but he was so sorry and told me that he did it because of me. He was so angry and thought I was leaving him so before I do it he did it to punish himself. Now he cannot get out from his marriage any more for he also pity the girl that was so innocent and was dragged in our situation. FYI, we are back together because I really love him and I really cannot live without him, accepting and learning to cope up with the idea of me being his mistress. I never want to be called as one because I am the one who is in a relationship with him for almost 6 years. They may have legal papers but I know I am still the one who he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

We wanted to marry under sharia court in Dubai where we both are living. It'll be so complicated but its rather live complicated with him that to live life without him. I know many will disagree with the arrangement but what can I do, I never interfered with anybody's relationship, I just can't give up on him and so as he cannot give up on me but he also cannot give up his so called wife back home.

Pretty sad face.



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9 Responses »

  1. Hi Prettysadface,

    Do you realise you are selling yourself short? Love or no love, it doesnt matter - he is married and committing to him means that you will never have the chance to have a guy love you openly and honour you by marrying you. Do you really want to be his secret? Please I urge you to think about the poor girl he married who you are both betraying. Ultimately, he made the choice to marry this girl and he must deal with the consequences. Marrying someone to punish yourself makes no sense and his actions do not seem to match his words.

    You say you cannot live without him, and I understand the depth of your feelings, but honestly your heart convinces you you can't, but you can. Put yourself in the girls shoes, how would you feel if you were that girl? Would it matter that he had been with her 6 years before the marriage. It is still a betrayal.
    I advise you to be strong, leave this guy and let him be in his marriage. Give yourself time to move on. It will be hard but if you give something up you love to do the right thing, you will be rewarded. Adultery is also a big sin in Christianity so I pray you do the right thing.

    Sara Editor

  2. i guess you dont want to hear this but leave him, really do that, because you deserve better sister, six years is A LOT! and he didnt do a thing, if he wanted to get married to you he would have done that, instead he went back to his country and got married, and by the way you said he went for 10 days and got married, he might have kown about this already before he left, so leave him. And InshAllah you will find someone better than him.

  3. Omg leave this loser!!! How can you even respect a man like him ? After being in a relationship with you for such a long time, he left you and got married to another girl, and did not even bother to tell youabout it!!! He is now married, and betraying his wife...and also using you! Leave him, forget him, he is not worth it and never will be! You deserve better than him! Move on and never look back, he is wasting your time and is not trustworthy!!! God men like him make my blood boil!!

  4. Salaams pretty face
    I totally agree with what everyone has said please leave him. If he was sincere and loyal to you he would have married you but he didnt. This guy dont deserve you or even has respect for you he knew he was getting married. I know this hurts but move on and you deserve someone who is honest and worth of your trust. Inshallah you will find someone else. Men like this are cowards and a real waste of space dont waste anymore time on this guy he isnt worth it. Look after yourself sister

  5. Asalam-o-alykum!

    Please help and clear me about my worried because I didn’t get a clear answer then I never forgive myself. I have been with a Muslim Girl from 7 months and we love each other so much.

    (Remainder of comment has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - Editor)

  6. OMG this may sound really really weird but this sounds like u are talking about my husband! i really have a feeling about this post and have come back to it many times i wish somehow i could figure out a clue and maybe release my husband so he may go to another women who can love him the way he wants-i realize this is the most weirdest thing in the world to say but plz provide any detail that may help me how about his initials ? his first name or even if he changed his name and was born with another name u can put any of the initials or how many siblings he has, can u tel me if he has only brothers and no sisters anything would be a great help. cause i think its not fair for me specially cause i would love to be free and him to be free as well.

  7. Girl,I understand that is extreemly hard for you to stop seeing him.But that is my advice what you should do:
    1.Leave your job
    2.LEAVE this country
    3.Go faraway from him-in place that is your familly maybe.
    4.Let the time work for you
    DONT YOU IN ANY CASE PUT ANY BLAME ON on intrenet there are a thousands women had been or beeing in the same situation like you.Good luck,girl


  9. Prettysadface, you say" his so called wife" .......she is his " wife" chosen by him. You are the shameful secret. You will be the secret forever... dont do this to yourself . DUST yourself off and look for a partner that will Not be afraid to show you off to the world....

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