Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband doesn’t respect my parents

respect izzat honour

Salam everyone.

I don’t know whether my issue is big or small , but it bothers me a lot. I have been married for 5 years with a 3 year old son, and even though my marriage has seen a lot of ups and downs , me and my husband love each other a lot. He is extremely good to me, and so are his parents. He has never said no to me for anything, he’s supportive of my career, helps around the house, we have a good relationship in every way, but there’s one problem.

He does not keep in touch with my parents or any member of my family. Months pass by and he doesn’t call my parents, or ask about them. I have to keep reminding him to call them once in a while as they strongly feel his negligence towards them. My father is mentally ill, and because of that, he doesn’t keep in touch with my husband, or anyone for that matter. My husband is fully aware of his condition but he still throws taunts at me saying, your parents don’t know how to take care of their son in law, your family doesn’t know how to take care of me, your father doesn’t call my father. In every situation my family has been the first one to initiate contact, they’ve sent him and my mother in law gifts, my extended family always take him out whenever we meet, my extended family also keep inviting him over but he doesn’t agree to go. He puts in zero effort from his side but expects everyone in my family and my parents to keep calling him keep giving him importance. I am really close to my family including my brothers and sisters and this attitude of his towards them bothers me a lot. I’ve tried explaining things so many times but it literally falls on deaf ears. Because of this reason,  I have developed strong feelings against him for quite some time. He doesn’t like it if I’d go out of my way to help my family, be it physically doing something or going somewhere, or helping them out financially. He’s expressed his anger quite a few times about me helping them out. My mother has tried calling him quite a few times but if he doesn’t answer, he sees the calls and doesn’t call back.

I really need to find a way out of this.

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3 Responses »

  1. How immature you both have a lot of growing up to do, if you can't deal with this then what chance do you have 5 more years down the line.... Bigger problems in life!

    • Lady Bird, that is a bit harsh. We all facing our challenges but that does not mean your problems are better or more important than others.

      What looks small to manage to you might be a mountain to others.

      Am sure she wrote here because she exhausted all her options. Lets build each other up bit tear each other apart.

  2. That’s not nice that he doesn’t let you help them. It’s one thing he doesn’t want anything to do with them, that’s fine but he can’t control how you keep in touch with them. He loves you and should be appreciative towards them on how your parents raised you. You have your own career why he is so upset about providing them financially. He sounds a bit selfish.

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