Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband lost his trust and hate me because of my face


Salam alaukum brothers and sisters on this site,

I have problem and I want your advice because I don't know who to ask. I hope it is not to silly for you to think of, but it is killing my marraige. Please read my question through and tell me what I can do. My name is Janey and I am 23. I been married 2 years to most great man in the world mashAllah, and I love him a lot. My problem comes from small marks on my face. My face is ugly with small red marks every month, maybe for one week they come on my face and cheeks and they itch like shaitan pulling my hand to itch them. My husband is good man and I have biggest respect for him and he loves me greatly but he hates my face at such times. I am shamed to say that I itch the marks when they come. My face is not looking bad but I always am praying to Allah the most Mighty to stop them from coming so my husband will love me more.

One day he asked me to promise him to stop having red marks on my face. I told him I will try but no promise but this was not good so he made me promise even though I couldn't promise him. So I looked at websites and they tell me to put yogurt on my face and take vitamin and things but even I do these things and the marks are still coming. And they itch and I just itch little bit but they make one or two marks and then my face is not soft. Now when he sees red marks on my face he hates me with silence and no love and no touch because I broke his promise.

Now I am crying for his love and touch but he do not want to look at my face with marks. Can I make special Dua to make them go away? Is there a special medicine I take that stop the marks? I am sinking in pool of shame and can not swim.

InshaAllah someone can help me please. I want my husband back!


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16 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    Personally, I feel that it was rather unfair of your husband to make you promise him something that is outwith your control, and that if he knew how hurt you felt, inshaAllah he should apologise to you for causing you to feel so upset and alone.

    Skin conditions can be caused by a number of things - stress, harsh chemicals, medical conditions, hormonal changes - but it isn't something that you have chosen to have happen to you. If you have tried non-medical approaches, it might be worth talking to your family doctor about your concerns - they may be able to do some blood tests or an examination to find out if there is a medical cause, and may be able to offer medication or advice about diet/environment/etc. It might also help to think about the times when your skin is particularly troublesome for you - is it a particular time in your monthly cycle? is it after using a particular brand of skincare? is it related to your environment (washing powders, travelling away from home, regular stresses)? If you can spot a pattern, you may then be able to make changes to your routine to help reduce your problems with your skin.

    If you look in the drop-down menu above for Dua in Islam, there is a section called "Dua for one who is sick". The duas discussed there may well be relevant to you, inshaAllah.

    It might help your self-esteem to remember that your worth as a person is not based on your physical appearance. Make sure you are continuing to follow Islam, try to get involved in your community (are there any charitable projects in your area?), ensure you still spend time with your family and friends, and maybe try to take up a new skill or develop an existing one?

    Midnightmoon editor

  2. asalamu alaikum,

    after reading your post, it must be hard when your husband starts the silent treatment. you say he's a good husband, yet he ask you to promise something which you have no control over. it makes no sense. also everyone is beautiful, be proud with what Allah(swt) given you.

    also avoid random medicines, taking tips from internet, it may do more harm than good. so I advise you to go to the doctor, get it checked up, and take it from there.

    ma salama..

  3. Have you seen a skin specialist? Do you use anything (like makeup or soap) on your face that may have allergic reaction? Have yo seen a skin specialist?

    Your husband should see a psychologist about him asking you to promise you will not have red marks on your face?

    • salaam

      good point just what i would advise go and see your GP and or a skin specialist they may well be able to help don't go for online things they could make it worse.

      allah hafiz

  4. AsSalaamu Alaikum Sister,

    I don't know whether his question about the promise meant for you to do everything you can to get cured. In any case, he should be the one assisting you to find out whether it's natural or curable. Since he has not done that, I'd suggest that you see a doctor or a skin specialist yourself to determine what it is.

    Anyway, for the meantime you should read about the Dua for one who is sick, as mentioned by Sister Midnightmoon. I'd also suggest that you do Ruqya and drink for a period of time (this is in case if there is an involvement of a spiritual being - Do not forget to recite Ayat Al-Kursi everyday and night).

    InshaAllah, everything is going to be alright ok. May Allah help you soon. Ameen!

  5. i think you may have acne or acne like skin condition more so premenstrual time related. see your doctor he should be able to help with anibiotics or oral contraceptive pills. but please dont take any medication without medical consultation.

    How rude and immature of your husband to treat you with silent treatment. tell him how much he is hurting you. be proud of yourself ! you are Allah's best of creation!

  6. Sister,

    There are many illnesses that can cause red bumps and the skin to itch. From what you sounds a lot like Eczema. Best to locate a Dermatologist to help determine what is really going on with you. Once that is done and a diagnosis is made, you can get on some medication to help clear things up. As for your husband telling you to promise you won't get any red marks on your face, that is just silly. You have no control over something of this nature. Best of luck to you.


  7. See a dermatologist! And it's not your fault that your skin is behaving this way- your husband should be understanding and considerate

  8. 1) GET HIJAMA
    2) Visit a knowledgable dermatologist/skin specialist
    3) Visit a knowledgable naturopath

  9. 1) GET HIJAMA
    2) Visit a knowledgable dermatologist/skin specialist
    3) Visit a knowledgable naturopath

  10. Also as a side note, I think it's very unreasonable of your husband to put this much pressure on you. It's not your fault you have those marks on your face, and you are trying your best to make your husband happy. I think you should tell him that it isn't your fault and you are doing everything you can for him. It's unfair of him to make you promise that the marks will go away, when it is completely out of your control, and you are doing your best to solve the problem

  11. Sounds like eczema. Use hydrocortisone.

  12. wa'alikumusalaam sis, I think ur problem is allergy, if u r eating , prawns, shell items, choclates jst stop it also artificial flavours, and wheat. it releases histamine and make swelling on face and itch. wen it become severe, u'l have breathing trouble, feel congest the chest. u check in internet about food allergy. I have the same problem that's wat I am saying. pls check.

  13. Assalam waleikum,

    I'm sorry to hear that your husband is treating you this way. Inshallah, he will realize that his treatment of you is hurting you a lot and he will stop.
    You might want to ask a doctor whether it could be hives due to an allergy, maybe an allergy that is difficult to determine. Sometimes I break out in hives on my body (red and itchy) and this lasts several weeks. A doctor suggested that it is caused by an unknown allergy. You might have hives and if it is what like I have you will not find the cause, as it could be sweat.. or apparently anything. If this is so, your doctor can help you find a combination of antihistamines that work. Be careful if you are pregnant or breastfeeding though. Than, unfortunately you can only take one at a time and you will need to check to see if it is ok to take while breastfeeding or pregnant. A doctor suggested to me Reactin, an over the counter antihistamine, to be ok while breastfeeding and pregnant (a little goes into the breast milk but it is not harmful) The dosage is one a day.

  14. I have just seen this post and thought I would give you a cream if its not too late seeing as it was published in January.
    My daughter suffers from eczema and gets red spots and rashes over her body...face, neck, behind her knees and on her arms. I tried using steroid and other creams prescribed by the doctor but they didnt really work as well she was still red and blotchy with her skin weeping. So one day i came across a company called pure potions and they have a cream 'skin salvation' its completely natural ingredients and suitable for sensitive skin and babies. Its basically for people who are prone to eczema dry itchy skin, psoriasis, dermatitis or other little skin emergencies.
    To be honest when i tried this her skin cleared up within a day or two and the red spots vanished. However its not a permanent solution but i believe it does help. Try and look for it on their website and if your lucky your gp could prescribe it in the uk as it is quite pricey.
    also try having piriton when your spots come out it helps calm your flare ups and your urge to itch inshaAllah
    hope inshaAlllah things have improved for you and you know what it is that causes you these spots.

  15. Assalamualaikum my dear sister.....It is very sad to know that you are going through a rough situation....this world is a dust and we see only beautiful face with full make up and with evil heart...........I too had the same problem dealing with pimples....but one sincere and honest lady who is very particular in namaz told to recite Surah Fatiha seven times and blow in water and thn drink daily.....Insha Allah by Allah Grace you will be very satisfied with the results and you will find yourself to be the most beautiful woman in earth....and yes u should also recite Ya Allahu Ya Nooru and blow it On your face. Insha Allah Everything will be fine by Allah Grace...

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