Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Removing amulets has changed my feelings – can I seek khula?

sihr, black magic

Assalamualykm.

I am going through a very difficult situation and I desperately need your advice.

I am a 25 years old woman, married for 10 years and I have one child.

Before my marriage I very much wanted to marry a boy whom I knew for 4 years that time and so we asked our parents to proceed with that. But my father was against it and so he took me to another country far away. There he brought a religious looking man at home and made him give me 3 different tavees (amulets) for me to wear, saying that they are for my protection. He then looked for another boy to marry me off and compelled me to agree to him. I never wanted to be disobedient to my parents so I lastly agreed. Ever since the marriage and till 6 years I had worn those amulets with me all the time.

After 6 years we came back to the country where I had stayed before marriage. I felt like removing those amulets from my body and I did that. I also opened them up and found out that they consisted of papers with some boxes with strange numbers written on it. Another one had some strange arabic writings on a paper.

I want to share with you that consciously or unconsciously I started to be in touch with that old boy gradually. I started to realise that deep inside my heart I still had very strong feelings for him. Many times I have tried to divert my mind. But I was in vain. He hasn't yet married.

Right now I am in a very difficult situation. I am not able to fulfill my rights husband's rights over me. I start to feel like crying when he comes near me. I have visited a trustworthy raqi also so as to see if I am suffering from any sort of sihr or magic. But alhumdulillah I haven't felt any symptoms.

I clearly know what are the rights of a husband in Islam is and what are the consequences if I don't fulfill them. But still I am not able to live with my husband harmoniously anymore. I know if I stay with him further I will not be able to stay within the limits ordained by Allah. So I want a way to release myself from such a harmful situation.

I want to ask for khula. I want to know is this a justified reason for me to ask for a khula. I don't feel I will be able to ever give myself completely and wholeheartedly to my husband anymore. He has been kind to me but I am not able to return him the same. Please advice and help me. Jazak Allahu Khair.

samah

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21 Responses »

  1. Sister you got married when you were 15?? And you knew this other guy since 11??? That's very young.

    What do you think the purpose of those taweez were? Was it like a love potion that made you marry your husband and stick with him and now suddenly you have removed them so the magic spell has worn off? I'm not sure what your implying here. Either way, you should destroy those taweez, there's ways to do this, ask the Raqi you saw.

    I also can't help but think how ungrateful you sound. Sorry to be so blunt. You say your husband has been kind to you and it sounds like your marriage has been a happy one up until now. Read the stories that come on here about people suffering in their marriages or finding it difficult to get married in the first place. And then learn to appreciate what Allah has blessed you with. Be grateful that you are married to a good man who is kind to you and gives you your rights.

    Your asking about Khulla. Don't you think your husband should be divorcing you considering you are actually cheating on him. How on earth are you supposed to feel good about your current marriage if your mind is on this other guy. Your crying when your husband approaches you because your listening to the devils whispers. He's driving you away from your husband. What gives you the right to cheat on your husband and communicate with a guy you knew when you were 11 years old. I feel bad for your husband.

    Your a married woman! Stop communicating with this other guy, it's wrong! Work on your marriage. Develop your relationship with Allah swt and try to focus on your husband. You have no real reason to ask for a khulla.

    May Allah swt guide you and bless your marriage, ameen.

  2. I suggest the same sister. Bucks is right.

  3. Sister ,

    Refer to below

    It is not permissible for a woman to ask for khul‘ or talaaq from her husband except for a legitimate shar‘i reason, because of the report narrated by Abu Dawood (2226), al-Tirmidhi (1187) and Ibn Maajah (2055) from Thawbaan who said: The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce when it is not absolutely necessary, the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden to her.”.

    This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

    “absolutely necessary” indicates a case of hardship in which divorce is the only recourse.

    It was narrated from ‘Utbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Women who seek divorce by khul‘ are the hypocrite women.”

    Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer (17/339); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘, no. 1934.

    What is meant by that is women who seek divorce by khul‘ when there is no reason that makes it permissible for them to seek that.

    http://islamqa.info/en/115107

  4. The other boy seems to be of very bad character as despite he knowing you are married keeping a relationship with you ...This is not a love but lust.
    How yo met him again ? Did you find him and contacted ? These all time and efforts you spent are haraam and will be added as a sin to your name ..Time for you to repent and change yourself ..

    Listen to above good advises and don't destroy yourself and your family for your lust .

    .

  5. What you are doing is not correct and sinful . There is no true love then love of Allah and his prophet(SAS) .

    What love you are thinking is nothing but haraam temptation .How you will live life after divorce ? Will you tell your kid that you had extramarital affair so you took divorce ? Will it have god impact on your kid ..

    There is no guaranty about other boy .He will ditch you after initial physical fun and sex .

    I think you need to seriously built relationship with Allah and follow deen in your day to day life ...

    A haraam is always haraam in Islam ......Your relationship with other boy will be always haraam ..

    • I am so sorry you feel like crying whenever your husband comes near you. That is very sad and difficult and that is not what marriage should have to be like. When I say Allah has compassion I mean Allah would not want a person to suffer like this in marriage. Allah is forgiving of sins but I am not condoning cheating at all . Allah must be so angry when 15 year old girls are often married without their consent and just to please parents Allah knows this woman's whole situation. You do not deserve to suffer like this in marriage and you have a good enough reason to ask for khula if you cry every time your husband comes near you.

  6. This is really bad .
    You are responsible for all of your action .Extramarital affairs will lead to hell so stop now .

  7. You are doing sin and stop meeting him .Fear Allah and day of judgement ..
    Above you have got advises ..

  8. First reason you are in mess is you started talking to non mehrem which is haraam .
    All of your interactions with him will be haraam and not allowed in islam ...
    Why you are doing all these as these are Satan's path .This is Ramadan so change yourself from this month to whole life ...Don't follow the dark path ...

  9. This is very shamefull sister .you are muslimah and having relationship outside marriage sinfull ..you were fine in the marriage till you contacted him again ..your actions are sinfull ...stop it and repent

  10. U need to read a Islamic book just only and only light of Quran and Hadis there is 100% solution of ur problem I have read that book.

  11. These are shocking as a Muslim married woman doing all these haraam ...you need to think about life after death to stop yourself from this haraam

  12. Selaam alekum ,

    Since you said your husband is kind and caring maybe you can go to counseling with him to try and work things out or see if you can find the good in him and feel more attracted to him. Stop talking with any non mahram men completely. This can only lead to trouble and serious problems and can not lead you to a good healthy marriage when your already married.
    You were only 15 years old when you married this man and that is a very immature age. You had no time to develop yourself as a person and mature and grow to know what kind of person would be suitable for you. That being said if you feel you can not love your husband and you are repulsed by him then yes you have a right to ask for khula. You do not have to stay in a marriage where you feel ill at thought of being with your husband and that is a good enough reason to ask for khula as you are not a slave in marriage. Marriage is about harmony and love between two spouses and helping each other grow in their deen. It should not be forced. You were a teenager and married to please your parents. You have a right to happiness within a marriage. If you can not work it out then you have a right to khula.
    Many young girls are married off without there consent and this causes serious problems later. Girls at that age have not developed and matured enough to get married as they do not even know themselves well. Marriage is serious and takes maturity from both spouses and especially parenting children. May Allah bless you and you should know your rights in Islam as well. Im sad you were married off so young to a man you did not choose.

    • She said her husband is not bad .Counselling will help if she keep 3rd man out of loop else everything will fail .Her desire for lust is not the justification to end marriage ..

      It is shocking that married muslim women behaving like this in a cheap manner ..

  13. The husband has rights in Islam and so does the wife. You are not a sex toy in marriage and if you are not attracted to your husband then you do not have to force yourself to be with him. You have a right to seek Khula in this case and Allah is Compassionate and forgiving.

    • I fear people like you who mis lead young people .

      "Allah is Compassionate and forgiving" can not be used to have relationship with non mehrem and extramarital affair .

      You can't plan a sin by saying allah is more forgiving .

      Her new boyfriend can also divorce her in few month after playing with her and njoying her body ..Will you say the same to him then ?

      Heights of misleading people ...

      • When I say Allah is forgiving and compassionate I am saying Allah understands her full situation here. Everyone here is judging her very harshly. Yes its wrong and horrible that she has been talking with a boyfriend. She needs to stop and relations like that and it is a sin. But she says she can not stand for her husband to touch her or come near her. She has a right to ask for Khula since she feels this way about him. Everyone here is judging her because of her boyfriend. But she was a little girl of only 15 when she married this man. This is unjust and she had no time to develop in to a mature woman. A woman should not have to stay with a man that she feels so ill she can not be with him. Allah does not say a woman has to stay in a marriage and put up with everything and anything and even be touched by a husband she has no feelings for.

        First of all I told her to try counseling with her and her husband and do everything she can to work out her marriage, but then if she can not feel for him then that is a good reason for her to ask for khula. Marriage is not suppose to be slavery for a woman and she was married at a young and delicate age of only 15 to this man for her parents only. But her happiness and peace should have been thought about as well when her parents married her off. She was wrong in cheating but she has a good enough reason to ask for khula if she can not stand to be near her husband given also she was married as practically still a child.

        • That's a valid point she was married very young, and if your husband repulses you I think you can seek khulla. The only thing that I'm a little vary of is that she says everything was ok until six years later and became worse when she moved back to her home town and after removing the taweez etc, so it doesn't quite add up.

  14. Very Bad ..Forming relation ship with other man put you in bad category .
    There is zina of eyes ,Zina of tongue ,Zina of legs etc ..What you are doing is some form of zina ..

    Time for you to repent and change yourself .. You are at fault here .no doubt .

  15. OP: Before my marriage I very much wanted to marry a boy whom I knew for 4 years that time and so we asked our parents to proceed with that..... my father ....... brought a religious looking man at home and made him give me 3 different tavees (amulets) for me to wear, saying that they are for my protection. ............After 6 years........I opened them up and found out that they consisted of papers with some boxes with strange numbers written on it. Another one had some strange arabic writings on a paper............ I started to be in touch with that old boy gradually. I started to realise that deep inside my heart I still had very strong feelings for him. Many times I have tried to divert my mind. But I was in vain. He hasn't yet married...........Right now I am in a very difficult situation. I am not able to fulfill my rights husband's rights over me.

    What do you mean " I am unable to fulfill my rights"? You need another taweez that can keep you and your boy away from each other.

  16. Sister ,

    You need to stop meeting that boy first .Cut all contacts with him .This is the main reason for your problems in married life .Fear Allah and follow right path .

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