Islamic marriage advice and family advice

This marriage is a nightmare

Assalam Walaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakathu

 

I am at a very difficult stage in my marriage and it is constantly eating me up inside, I have been married for for about 16 months and from day one my marriage seems to have been going more downhill than up-hill. Please be gentle in your criticisms (if any) as I know for sure we have 'with the fullest regret' sinned.

 

I came to a point in my life where I was aged about 33, I had been searching for a wife for around 3 years and still no joy. I came to a point where I was just depressed with my single life and the lack of progress. I do my hajj with my mum and sister and I come back and I meet someone off a matrimonial site). We talk, we're getting along and I'm serious about marriage, so is she 'she claims' so I quickly try and get our families to meet, because I didn’t want a pre marriage relationship.

 

So i take my family down from our home town and we go down to her city and meet her face to face. I liked her and my family liked her. So we left that day thinking yeah, we're happy. We start to enquire about the family from locals and our relatives. No one can vouch for the family, we search high and low. Eventually a close relative, my uncle basically gave some negative feedback on this girl and my uncles son mention that the family isn’t right. few weeks have gone by now since the first family meet and my family are asking her family but her family aren’t giving any answers except... its too far for them. We took the hint, so by now I’m asking the girl 'what’s happening, do you want to proceed or not?", girl responds yes she does want to proceed, her parents are still deciding.

 

In various nagging conversations I kept asking her, what’s wrong, why aren’t they moving things forward, is something wrong, I’m getting paranoid that somethings not right, maybe my uncle and his son are right so I confront her on the phone and ask her straight out, she denies that anything is wrong and says my uncles family are jealous that’s why they do not want this wedding to go ahead because they approached this family for the same girl and they got turned down on two occasions for each brother.

 

So we continue to liaise over the phone to a point where we now have feelings for each other. On the telephone we form this long distance relationship with no physical contact whatsoever for one year. In the interim my family called numerous times only to be to be told they haven't decided yet, blimey its pushing on to nearly one year, it’s our fault entirely we should have taken a hint from her parents, but the girl had a stronghold on me and convinced me she was the one for me.

 

By this time, our bond is strong, there is a significant amount of trust and there is a lot of affection, bottom line I was blinded by love (I’ve so let myself down as I’ve seen fellow childhood friends go through blind love numerous times and its effects, yet here I am falling for the same trap!). My feelings for this girl are so strong we eventually meet and would meet on a irregular random basis.

 

Bear in mind me, my family and the girl are praying and praying and praying for this wedding to go ahead so we can end this struggle

 

Anyway I’m thinking 'I like the girl, I trust her so I’ll wait for her, so waiting waiting, one delay after another, her parents go abroad on 3 occasions and my family call them in between (when they come back to England) and we just never got a straight answer, the marriage proposal is just continuously delayed and delayed, yet me and this prospective bride are yearning to get married but it isn’t happening. Finally things start moving, we visit and in turn the family come to visit my family home

 

So then my family say we would like the wedding ASAP, but her family still isn’t having it, they just wanted to delay and delay, I’ll skip the gory nitty gritty frustrating details and the turmoil my family (maybe there’s as well) faced in organising the wedding, at one point they were like 'can it be in 2017?' we responded It's got to be December 2016 the latest, after they kept pushing the date forward one more than two occasions , a) September, then it was b) first week of October then c) end of October, d) then sometime in November eventually leaving us with a date in December 2016. So I'm thinking to myself getting married at 35, Alhamdulillah, and she's 33,

 

We agreed on things like after marriage if she wants to work she can work here and to start off with she can visit family like once a month due to distance and eventually tone it down.

 

So we get married, and consummate after making dua'z, On Day one i check my wife’s phone (on the off chance) and I find 3 months worth of texts and video call recordings with her and some guy, she communicated with him up until her mendhi day as in had an affair with the guy. This is like nightmare for me, I’m in tears , heart broken to pieces, i confront her and she's begging me holding my feet asking for forgiveness, i ask is the child mine? she says yes, "get a morning after pill if you don’t believe me". I thought to myself we fought hard and waited a long time, I’ll look forward only so I forgave her thinking "she isn’t going to go back to that workplace again, so I got nothing to worry about" ... boy was I wrong...

 

Month 1, my wife starts crying, she; s missing her parents, that upcoming weekend I take her to my in laws, she says she wants to stay one week, I’m like ok, she extends it to two, I’m not happy but I say ok, my family tell me I should be kind. come week, she's asking for an extra week, I rejected thinking she's taking the mick. these situations bring sourness to a relationship when you have to say 'no' to your wife.

 

So she comes back and she takes the test, Alhamdulillah within 1 month of consummation we have good news, my wife is pregnant..

 

her parents set off to go abroadfor a three month trip

 

meanwhile we plan a trip for Ummrah, me, wife, and my two other family members, knowing my wife is pregnant my wife says she is willing to go. After I place the booking, got the visas, five days before our flight my wife says its too much for her, she cant travel and quickly flees home desperately (picked up by her brother) saying she's only going for two nights even though both her parents aren’t in the country. She's ill, how can i stop her. So I let her go. She ends up in hospital for one night and while our flights are literally days away we continue with our ummrah trip, even my wife says 'go, you shouldn’t miss out'. Selfish of me I'm thinking if my wife really wanted to go she could have, loads of pregnant women fly / travel, anyway i gave the benefit of the doubt whilst i wasn’t still happy about the situation thinking this girl did not want to go with me. I start to become paranoid about my wife. So to summarise that, my wife is at her parents house away from me for 3 weeks... yet again. Paranoia kicks in... inevitably.

 

Anyway we come back from Ummrah and she comes back and lives with me. her parents come back from abroad and guess what, we are back at her parents again (with all kindness and good intentions off course) and she stays for one or two weeks. She also takes the wedding gold from the marital home and puts it in her dads safe. (im thinking no big deal, she’ll bring it back, d like her to wear it again) She comes back and she breaks it to me that she's going back to work in her home city at her old place, we argue, argue and argue and I mention her affair and so on. I consult my family, what should I do, my family respond, let her go back to her parents house and work, otherwise she'll be miserable at home. I cut a deal with her, saying you want to work there? I expect you back every weekend, can you do that?.... she replies yes yes off course yes off course a thousand times.... me being the gullible one thinking a pregnant lady going to put herself through that when she couldn’t even go abroad with me????, she isn’t going to come back every weekend.... I’m thinking she's taking me for a ride... guess what she did in the end, she came home once a month. When asked "when are you coming?", "why aren't you coming?" all I got in return was attitude and the 'lamest school homework type' excuses. we continue to argue, eventually i gave up on that, I’d had enough.

 

FYI she isn’t that bright or matured unfortunately, she is easily influenced. Half of the stuff she is doing is coming from other members in her family, and she; s determined to see it through.

 

Ramadan is here.... in a ideal family husband and wife spend the whole ramadan together without miss, i only got two or three days with her at most out of thirty, another heartbreak, she did come for Eid though.

 

At some point later I'm thinking .... is my child going to even be born in my home town, i was born here I’d like my child born here please..... if all is well.

 

at this stage none of the medical records had transferred yet, everything is still in her home city. So I have this discussion with my wife... based on the past few months doesn’t seem like your settling in here... your address and everything is still at your parents...? what’s the plan? still denying there isn’t a plan, she says she will join our surgeries after she finishes her 4 month stint at work and claims the maternity pay, so i get a definitive date from her and she says 2nd week of August and guarantees our baby will be born in my home town (she even says her parents swear by it too), she even places her hand on our holy book and swears on her life etc etc.

 

Off course out of suspicion and curiosity I go through her things, I find a thaweez in her purse, I photograph, I didn’t confront her or on it because then she’l wonder why I went through her things, fact is I didn’t trust her then, wont trust her ever,

 

August comes and there’s still no sign of her registering here, after continuous arguments it came to surface that she was indeed having the baby there, my family didn’t have a problem with it, however it made it difficult for me as Id always hoped everything wold be at home, you know.... local to me.

 

I was just angry I feel like I’ve been lied to constantly. She's always wanting things her way, arguing with me, pushing me to the limits

 

We have our baby in September, Alhamdulillah its a healthy baby girl, I coped ok in another town (but its selfish of me to think about me after all it wasn’t me giving birth), would have preferred bringing my baby daughter home first thing but its not in my fate, after staying in hospital for 5 days (due to 2nd degree tear and blood loss) and after me being told by my wife that 'our child is not legally mine' (after which she apologised for saying) we ended up in our in laws, stayed the night, at which point my mother in law picks an argument with me, persisting our baby has her birth certificate registered to the city address so my wife can claim x y z benefits and tax relief etc and I’m arguing for my daughters birth right that it should have her home address on, but my wife and my mother in law weren’t having it. We have a full on head to head heated argument and I’m highlighting the past 10 months of lies which caused me distress), mid way through I realise I shouldn’t be arguing with elders so I took all my mother in laws #r#p in from of the rest of the family. Inna Lilla Hi wa inna ilayhi rajioon, what has the world come to. The room darkened for me very much and I couldn’t wait to leave this awkward scene and this house.

 

the following morning I was able to bring her back. The first thing we do is transfer mother and baby's medical records and continue to attend the check ups and appointments and immunisations here, convenient for me so I could take them to the doctors and hospitals.

 

Meanwhile, my mother in law names the baby, and I’m like 'don’t I get a say', my wife says yeah you pick the name and let your mum pick a house name'. She also wants to contribute to the name. So we have three names and a nickname. Again I consult my family about the birth certificate thing, and my family tell me 'its only a paper', so I allow my wife to use her parents address.

 

I name first name, I take the name my mother in law gave (out of respect) and place it as a surname, the middle name which my wife gave, out of anger i exclude it because my wife has got a lot of stuff her way and caused a lot of arguments, anyhow she will benefit from whatever claims she makes so why should she upset, she'll be getting her money???? My mother gives the home nickname and we start calling her that at home, turns out when our daughter goes back to my in laws, they all call my daughter the name my mother in law gave, are they making a statement? I don’t know.

 

Anyway due to resentment and bitterness and the hate I have for my wife, our relationship is literally zero contact, we are only here for our daughter, we can’t seem to agree on things and I feel like my wife just wants to do what she wants regardless of committing to our marriage, Several times I have said would we be better off if we separated, things isn’t working out, you isn’t settling in, I don’t know what’s round the corner, her responses seem to consist of 'not bothered', 'do whatever you like' attitude. She's constantly looking for faults and I’m too busy highlighting the instances where she has hurt me through lies, betrayal, dishonesty and her argumentative approach to me.

 

We have some intimacy, speechless intimacy, we hardly talk, its as if we are already divorced. We had an immunisation appointment, I’ve booked a day off from work all ready and prepped, my wife goes back to her parents, I say stay one week and come back for our daughters immunisations as I’ve made arrangements, my wife insists on staying for two, the day after I drop them off i receive a text saying "I’ve booked her a appt for her here in the city so cancel the other one and book another one 4 weeks from that date for next set of injection" Verbatim...... I feel she's undermined me

 

I know the mother has more rights on the child than the father, but come on be fair and behave maturely and act in the best interest of your marriage, not yourself.

 

I feel there’s no respect, no commitment to the marriage, getting her to live with me seems to be a big big challenge and I feel I don’t have a say about our child.

 

My family treat her like a princess and believe it or not whenever my wife’s at home, its as if she's a temporary guest, she’s been married a year she asks me where stuff is in the kitchen. She doesn’t look after my house, doesn’t clean the room, just helps with cooking and some kitchen cleaning, she has said to me and I quote "once you are gone (as in passed away), I have no rights to the house, so will leave everyone and leave here and flee back home with my child"... I'm immediately thinking "do i want to die whilst being married to her, NO!!"

 

Some of the stuff she says or does to tick me off comes across as provocation, its as if she's trying to annoy me so much that I’ll submit to a divorce so she can continue with her life guilt free

 

I have suggested to her for us to jointly do charity work, get more involved in selfless acts so that it may soften our hearts, lets go Islamic marriage courses, she isn’t a single bit bothered..,..

 

Life is very difficult, marriage is very difficult. Life was supposed to get better, happier, instead its a constant everyday battle with my heart, my emotions and my resentment. I can't erase it, its traumatic. What’s the point erasing it, something new will pop up, something always has in the past one year. I feel like ending the whole thing, but I remember my daughter, (I’m not ready to pay child support and have limited access just yet), I pray everyday, ask my wife to pray everyday, ask her to think about our child, our marriage, but I’m not enough for her, its as if she's longing for something else or she just wants to make life difficult. She does not value our marriage.

 

now criticise me if you will. After marriage I did make some payments to my wife as a husband does, but it wasn’t regular, however shelter, food etc  was never a problem, Alhamdulillah we have two houses and I’m always at home and make sure we are fully stocked up, yet its not enough for my wife. I take her to the city and I pick her up, I refuse for anyone else to do that chore, yet I feel greatly unappreciated. When I asked my wife why isn’t this enough, she responded, modern age, women expect more than basic necessities, so this coincides with my mother in law, "if you aren’t going to pay my daughter £250 a week, then let her claim all the benefits, she needs to spend and be independent".

 

I fear there are bad events round the corner, I continuously pray my salaah, make dua for myself, my daughter, my wife, my family, her family and muslim immah, pray isthikhara, I worry about my daughter, not so much my wife because I know she will continue to do whatever makes her happy

 

I've been talking about this to a select few, and the feedback I get is "the longer I leave it, the worse it will get", or set her straight, send her back and tell her to come back when its ready.... the fact is they don’t need us, my wife does not need me, she'll happily go back to her parents and her two unmarried brothers.... together they will support her.

 

Next thing you know, my mother in law (without asking me) although she asked my mother arranges for my wife and child to be picked up without my approval. Im thinking I cant take this anymore, I ask my family for advice, they advised me and my wife sit with the imam who performed the nikkah ceremony on the wedding day, I suggested to my wife and she agrees to sit down. so after I week I go to pick her up and we both and baby go and visit the imam. I explain the history to the imam, she also complains to him saying she doesn’t like the water here, she has a man come into her dreams and tells her things, she feels a burning sensation over her body when I touch her etc etc… the imam, gives us advice on how to deal with problems when they occur outside the marriage, I.e we shouldn’t confront etc or accuse anyone etc. Then the imam asked us if we wanted to continue with the marriage, I said yes only if she keeps to certain conditions, i.e. don’t say bad things about me to her family, I want her 100% co-operation and commitment to the marriage and that we both abide by sharia law. She agrees, vice versa I agree too. I also state no one is taking my wife and child without my permission anymore. If they do its over.

Within three weeks she accuses my mother of black magic, my wife tells my mother to go and touch the Kaaba sharif in Makkah and do some kind of kosom (who imposes such requests at the age of 34?, who does that regardless of age?) to prove she hasn’t done it, my wife accuses my mum of taking her city house keys when all along she had it in her handbag, I only found it in her handbag because her accusation against my mother drove me crazy. Her family have been told by pirs or magicians or mullahs etc that someone from my side of the family has done black magic, she confronts my mum on this as well saying we are into thaweez etc and degrades my family. My mother didn’t say anything to me about the accusations as this would cause problems….. until one week before she decides to go abroad to visit her family as her brother is terminally ill, she wanted to focus on her brother and seeing her mum. I then remember the thaweez that has been sitting in her personal belongings all this time, and im thinking if she is so against thaweez, why the hell does she have one?

 

somehow we’ve peddled on whilst there have been some arguments here and there, her parents come back from ummrah, she tells her brother to tell me he’s coming to pick her and my child up, im furious as im not going to take orders like that so i confront my wife, I tell my wife I’l take you on my next day off in two days time, wife says what you going to do if I go now, I said if you go, don’t come back. Big hoo haa argument and wife gets her mum involved and is ready to leave, im crying I get my family involved as it could be the end, later we worked things out, the following day my mother in law is insistent on having my wife picked up, and sends my brother in law. I say to my wife, if you leave today then it has ended, wait 2 days as agreed or else we will need to sit down and end this. My brother in law arrives and questions me why cant his sister come home, I said I haven’t given the permission for her to leave, shes coming in two days time on my day off, he replies make sure you ask my dad for permission before you take her back, I replied, no, that is between me and my wife, he storms out saying is “is she a slave in this house”. I replied off course she isn’t. I re-iterated to her she is not a slave for me or my family and she is welcome to leave anytime she wants (told her to explain to her family as well that she is not being kept in this marriage against her will), she doesn’t even have to do anything for me (forget doing anything for my family), that stuff only comes from the heart if it exists. Although her brother came to pick her up, my wife remained.

 

Now we have an issue with the wedding gold, ive asked our imam, and he said the wedding gold should be in the marital home, I kindly request to my wife to bring the wedding gold back home, she then replies she wants to sell it and accuses me that I might sell it and keep the money. I wouldn’t sell it without my wifes permission I have no right. Despite being in debt after the wedding, I would not even ask my wife to sell the wedding gold. So although I cant value or claim rights to her wealth (apparently according to her boasting and broadcasting to my family she has over 100 grams of gold and 0.75 million pounds (shes even said she can buy my house 3 times over, ive got a substantial mortgage btw)) she is still adamant in keeping the wedding gold and / or selling it, but she wont do anything with any wealth prior to the marriage? Does that say something about my wife???? Im going to try and get her to sit with the imam again as we have lots to discuss about how the contract was breached etc, she refuses to sit with him, she wants someone else, seems like if it doesn’t work her way it shouldn’t work at all. I have a wife who seems to implement double standards in her life, traditional when it suits her and her family, modern when it suits her and her family?  What do I do?

 

I worry about my daughter so much... I don’t want her growing up in that family, they come across as dysfunctional to me... but my daughters rizq and fate has already been written, all I can do is try my best but I cant let go of my wifes conduct, behviour, decisions against me and her character, I hate it! I cant live with someone like that for the rest of my life.

 

There is nothing I can do, its all in Allah's hands, Allah knows best, I pray Allah swt makes it easy for me and my family and for my daughter..... I so regret getting married to this girl, I don’t know what to do.

One week after I took her to see a raqi and her being diagnosed with evil eye. She has decided to leave my residence today after an argument we had. I tried to keep my answers to her short and brief. Tried to maintain the peace while we were both fasting in the month of ramadan. She still continued to debate and argue. Allahu Aaalaam she has made her decision. Please remember us in your duas. Jzk.

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13 Responses »

  1. For crying out loud, it should be quite obvious whats going on!

    That baby is most probably not yours. She would not have said 'our child is not legally mine' unless there is something more to it. She probably only got married when she got pregnant and the other guy wouldn't marry her - that's the reason for all the delay - she was going for the other guy who eventually bailed on her after getting her pregnant and so she had no choice.

    Her staying with her parents can only mean one thing - shes still with the other guy.

    You need to do a dna test on the child to be sure. You can do that without anyone knowing - just need to take a swab from your mouth and the child's mouth.

    Get out of this whilst you still have your sanity. Dump her now!

    • OP: and after me being told by my wife that 'our child is not legally mine' (after which she apologized for saying) we ended up in our in laws, stayed the night, at which point my mother in law picks an argument with me, persisting our baby has her birth certificate registered to the city address so my wife can claim x y z benefits and tax relief etc

      I have a feeling this girl and her parents want to claim x y z benefits for low or no income from government by showing husband and wife are not married or together. Some married couples play this game in USA to get tax credits and low income benefits fraudulently.

      I don't think by legally she meant biologically.

      • These kind of things happen a lot in UK. Men marrying 4 wives not by the land of the law. And these so called wives apply for government claiming single with kids. Disgusting.

  2. As Salam Alaikum, it seems very clear your wife does not want to be married to you.
    Pray to Allah (swt) and ask him to guide you to the straight path and keep your Salah and get closer to him. The wife seems very far from Allah (swt).

  3. I really do not believe that this woman wants to be married to you. Divorce her and pray to Allah (swt) to show you the truth ask for guideance and sabr and do not miss Salah . You need to get as close to Allah (swt) as possible, I think once you have a strong connection with Allah (swt) you will see everything so much more clearer.

  4. Salaam brother,

    my gut is saying the baby girl is not yours. You should do a DNA test.

    May Allah be with you

  5. Assalam o alaikum my strong brother

    I am shocked to the core whilst reading about your situation. You are without a doubt, a strong husband who has done everything within his capacity to make things work but however, things didn’t straighten out.

    Since the day you have been in contact with this girl(even before marriage), she has been guided by her family. She is way too crook than you can ever imagine. You have had enough while trying to make things right, it’s always a two way process not one. This indication is enough for you to decide, that you won’t wanna continue with this misery. Open your eyes and shake your conscience, leave her for the love of god. You have been decieved and taken for granted all this time. There’s no valid reason for her to stay at her home all this time except something really dubious. This reason is alarming enough for you to take a stand, you got your own life and you deserve to be happy in life as well. She broke your trust when you found out her affair, and trust me she continued to play with your trust afterwards. Her attitude, her families attitude is evident enough that they have no effort and no commitment to this marriage.

    Regarding your daughter, I highly doubt if she’s yours. I don’t expect anything legit from her. Please go for a DNA test and this will prove if shes your or not. If it turns out to be not yours, you won’t land into a legal trouble of paying for your daughter all your life. And I am sure your affection to her will subside knowing she’s not yours. I might be wrong but its quite obvious by all the situation you narrated. Divorce your wife straightaway and do yourself and your family a favour. She is not worth of your love and efforts anymore. Brother, life is a beautiful gift from Allah, and all this aazmaish (tests) come from Allah. Once you take this painful step, I assure you that you will be in peace provided that you maintain a close link with Allah SWT. You just need to come out of this misery asap, I guarantee you that you will be in peace afterwards. You can then find a spouse who will be loving, affectionate, pious and who will give her 100% to the marriage. I assure you that you will find one. For now, just end this misery asap. If she wants that gold, just let her and her family take it and please move on.

    Brother please pray regularly and recite Quran everyday, maintain close relation with Allah. Allah SWT listens to you and responds when the time is right. So please never lose hope and always remember, there’s always a Dawn after Dusk. May Allah SWT ease all your problems and help you in every path of life Ameen.

  6. Go for DNA test of baby and then decide out come of your relationship.

  7. Salaam do dna test for the baby her going in her parents house all the time and not going Umra with you going again. In her parents house while her parents were abroad, working in her city where her parents live despite you telling her again and again she does her own way it proves that she is still with that guy.
    Divorce her the baby might not be yours
    Get out of this marriage
    In marriage they are ups and down but too a limit
    You tried your best to make it work but it didn’t work all this years
    Life comes once divorce her and get your child right through court . Don’t stay in marriage where they is no happiness and no respect. Brother you will find someone better then her who will give you happiness and respect. Come out of this marriage once for all and do dna test if the child is yours then meet if not then leave it with the mother

  8. Asalam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh I think u should do a DNA test for the baby as it seems it's the only reason that's holding u back. you can then decide what to do after inshaAllah. Whatever decision u make, I hope Allah put baqarah in it. U have been patient. Honestly from all the horror stories I've seen on here on horrible some husbands/fiance/ bfs are, ur quite saintly lol but of course none of us are. May Allah make ur decision easy.

  9. What this girl and her family did is too cruel. You are a very good decent brother. You bared a lot of patience and so nice. You deserve so much better, someone that loves, care, and respects you. The girl is smart and conniving B@*-ch , don’t think she doesn’t have a mind of her own and gets easily influenced by her family. She knows what she was doing to marry you. She played you because she knows that you are a good person and will never doubt her. Wether the child is yours or not, leave the marriage. These people are hyprocates.

  10. Assalaamualaykum Brother Mu'min,

    You say: I've been talking about this to a select few, and the feedback I get is "the longer I leave it, the worse it will get", or set her straight, send her back and tell her to come back when its ready.... the fact is they don’t need us, my wife does not need me, she'll happily go back to her parents and her two unmarried brothers.... together they will support her.

    The one your wife needs most is Allah, but if she would really that happily go back to her family home, I think you should file for divorce and just let her go.

    You can try to file for custody of your daughter.

    I sincerely think Allah will do the best for you and take care of all the details that are out of your control. So focus on what is in your control...like filing for custody of your daughter, and let Allah handle the rest. Pray the Salat Al-Istikhara and leave it to Allah.

    Best,

    Nor

  11. Assalam alaikum,

    I am so sorry for you brother but unfortunately there were glaringly obvious signs for you to stay away from this benefits hungry, despicable woman and her classless family. Too late for that now but as advised above, you need to establish whether the child is actually yours. She's swiped the gold I'm afraid. Wash your hands of this nightmare. She's an adulterer, money hungry and has failed completely as a woman, never mind as a wife!

    Life can be an unpleasant journey. Why we wonder, when our intentions were pure, do things go so wrong? That's when we have to question ourselves a bit more. You applied patience (wrongly, with the wayward woman you wifed up) yet you were impatient about becoming married. Allah loves those who are patient and it's how you behave whilst you wait.

    Any form of intimacy prior to marriage should be avoided, not merely physical interactions. As this is how this witch was able to woo you and prevent you from seeing what was right in front of your eyes. The sly mother in law no doubt is the master behind this.

    So close this ugly chapter of your life. If the child is indeed yours, you will be left with a permanent link to this woman but there are laws in place to ensure you have a place in your child's life. Life goes on and you will heal In sha'a Allah. Forget expecting any kind of heart from the perpetrator and don't wallow either, as this will inhibit your progress.

    In sha'a Allah you will be rewarded with a proper wife in the future.

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