Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Wanting a divorce

Hijabi woman with veil drawn over her face, half face

Assalaam mualikum.

i am 26 years old. I have been married for 7 years now and have a 6 years old son.

i got married when i was 19 to my cousin .

it was arranged.

I never saw him as a husband . He was more of a brother to me

i tried telling my parents they didnt pay no mind

and got me married.

he is a very handsome looking guy but i dont find him attractive.

and i dont really get aroused by him.

and his problem with me is that i keep denying him .

wehave sex 2-3 times a month .

but accepted everything as fate and compromised.

than i had my son.

I found out that my husband has been talking to other girls through social media.

i asked him about it he said it’s nothing like that we are just friends.

right after my son turned 4 i found out that he goes out with other girls to clubs and parties

and he drinks and smokes too .

after finding out all of this i just feel like whats  that point of me suffering and all my compromises?

i still forgave him and gave him 8 months to get me a place so we can start our lives

we are currently living with his parents because his income is low

8 months have passed and am still in this situation

ive told him that i cant carry on anymore and that i want a divorce

 

problem is that we share a son . And he wants to be in his life as he got every right to be

my parents arnt here they are back home

n i dont wanna live here

what do i do

jzk

pls remember me n my son in your prayers

 

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3 Responses »

  1. Hi Volga

    I'm a Muslim woman about to become a psychotherapist. I would like to support you in this difficult time. It's a very challenging situation you are in right now and I can understand that you want a divorce. Would writing down your situation and what possibilily would happen in each situation, and how happy you would be about that situation may help. If you feel that I'm not being clear , I can still help and lead you to the answer you are looking for. Just think what you want, and what is possibly good for your son, things will take time to fall in place. But you need to look after yourself and your needs too. So I like your courage and like the fact that you are aware that you are not getting anything out of this suffering. Please contact again if you feel I can be of any help. Goodluck.

  2. If you want a divorce, you get a divorce.

  3. Aslamualiqum,

    🙂 Dont let any guys use you, yes he is your husband. Even if its a arrange marriage i would say that feelings do come along for sure or should, its hard not to be attached to a guy that you were marriaged for years:) ... Mine was also an arranged marriage which didnt work out because he was using me and he was disgusing himself to show that he was a good guy when he really wasnt, My point is that if you think your husband is not sincere, you should try talking to him 🙂 and ,, try more harder to make himself closer to you. What i learned from my mistakes is that small mistakes are never forgotten and they will always find ways to point them out throughout marriage.
    Just pray to ALLAH, he can do anything, hopefuly he will change your husbands actions into good ones.

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