We’re from different sects
Prophet Muhammad Peace be upon him said: The Children of Israel divided into 72 sects. My community will divide into 73 sects, and all of them will be in the Hell fire save one.” The people asked him: “And which one will that be. He replied: “The one that follows what I and my Companions are upon right now.” (Tirmidhee)
Assalaamulaykum,
Brothers & sisters i really need your advice on the following matter. A few years back i got out of an abusive relationship and afterwards met a religious, soft-natured man. However, we soon found out we were from different sects. His is an orthodox family who has been opposing a marriage between him and me for years. I had tried to end the relationship initially, but he kept persuading me he would convince his family. His family has met me now, and still oppose. My question is, how long should I wait for him? I am heartbroken. Please help.
skyblue
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Hi sister
I think you should speak to him and see what his doing about the situation, if he says yes his convinced his parents and yes he is 100% sure he'll marry you then I think you should speak to your family to, however if his giving you false promises instead of waiting for something that may not happen pick yourself up and look elsewhere in Shaa Allah you find someone who is just perfect for you don't forget Allah SWT made us all in pairs and no matter what happens at the end of it we all do end up with our pair what's meant to be will be just pray in Shaa Allah it works out for you
Hope I helped. Reya x
You shouldn't wait one second my dear. Don't hold your breath.
If he can't get get the courage to stand up to his pRents and tell them this is the woman I am going to marry, then he never will. If he can't deal with his parents, you will have a lifetime of inlaw issues and weak husband who has no spine.
Move on sister, find someone who will marry you and won't have to make you wait.
Assalaamualaikam
Sister, you deserve a husband who will stand up for you and respect you. While it's obviously ideal for everyone to be on board with a proposed marriage, it isn't necessary for his parents to give their permission. If he wants to marry you, it's within his rights to simply say to his parents "This is the woman I'm going to marry", and go ahead and marry you.
If he isn't able to do this, then I wouldn't waste any more time on him. I'd tell him that if he can't commit now, then that's it, and then he can choose to either continue being indecisive and putting things off, or to take action to marry you.
Often, when people are in abusive relationships, they can feel that they are second-best, that they don't deserve to be a priority. But that's not the case. You deserve to be loved and respected. I'm concerned that this relationship with this man is simply reinforcing ideas of unworthiness and further damaging your self-esteem.
Before making any big decisions, though, I'd suggest praying istikhara. We've several articles on this subject if you need more information about how to do this. May Allah guide you to what is best for you.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor