Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Convincing Muslim family to let their son marry Christian girl

love non muslim

I am Christian girl in my mid 20. I have known this Pakistani boy for 2 years now, sharing a great friendship and we also share a great love. He is the oldest of 5 siblings, living in the UK.

I have been reading about Muslim religion and culture for a while now. I do realise getting blessing and permission from his parents might be extremely hard. I don't want to go against their will, I also don't want him to choose because family is as important to him as it is to me. I am getting ready to convert not just because I want to be with him but If we succeed I would like to raise our children in the religion of my husband and maintain the best relationship with his family as I can.

His parents started mentioning him getting married, he suggested he would like to choose someone himself. They did not want to discuss it.

Is there any way we can work it out? I know he would have some support from one of his auntie. However, his family is very traditional. I don't know how he should speak to them to open their hearts? I would like to show them I am a worthy person, who would make their son happy and support their values. But first, he needs to tell them there is someone who he loves and would like to marry.

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6 Responses »

  1. According to Islamic rules, a Mulsim boy can marry with a christian girl. So no problem. Seondly , ı suggest to you become a muslim. Islam is extreemly perfect life system and the Best way to live in this life and next life. Whatever watching the news on Tv is all is Grabage. First rule You can not give any harm to anybody .. forget killing. Any mistakes you can not do anybody.

  2. Hi you are so patient
    Appreciate your efforts
    Our God is showing you the right path
    Im also in similar condition trying so hard to convience my parents to accept the convert girl

    It is not easy to do
    But im not from pakistan

    Things i feel could help your marriage:
    Learn well about islam and its practises

    Reduce your communication, meeting, or any form of contact bwtween you both as it will lead into many problems and worries and it is also forbidden in islam

    The guy should stand up and speak up with the family of course there wil be fight argument threatens but he should find a way to convince his parents

    Your mindset should be fixed you might come across many rules regulations and cultural things which you might feel not easy to accept in islam and in anycase dont revert back

    Your conversion should be based on the trust and belief on one god and then for the sake of your marriage

    It is allowed for a muslim guy to marry a jewish or christan girl who is pure and chaste and virgin he can find the references on quranic verse and islamic videos and share with his family

    Also he cannot be forced to marry anyone but such permission is not given by family and parents these days

    So Both of you pray thajud daily
    Keep doing charity and lots of dua
    May allah make you both hallal way in this world and next

  3. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide whoever He misguided none can guide. Sis first accept Islam before its too late, any moment could be your last coming to question in Islam you can marry a Christian girl, he is mature enough to convince his parents so if he really wants to marry you. If things are not positive don't worry He is the All mighty Allah swt.He will make a way he will give a better person.

  4. OP: His parents started mentioning him getting married, he suggested he would like to choose someone himself. They did not want to discuss it. I know he would have some support from one of his auntie. ......... I would like to show them I am a worthy person, who would make their son happy and support their values. But first, he needs to tell them there is someone who he loves and would like to marry.

    Talk to his aunt or mom. I have a feeling this guy is not going to marry you. He will use you as long as you let him......One day he will end up marrying a cousin or a girl in Pakistan. Has he met your parents yet?

  5. As Salam Alaikum

    I completely agree with SVS brother. Even i have a feeling that this man might not marry you and would end up giving you vague reasons about his Parents / family.

    The reason for such feeling is.. Why and for what is he waiting uptil now even when you have decided you are firm on converting ? When you could make such a staunch decision, he talking about the marriage with you with his parents is no big deal at all .. its not at all comparable to what you have decided to do.

    Yes and as SVS said.. Have you spoken to that same Aunt of his ever ? I am sure you have not. Because if you would have , there wouldnt have had been a If or But while you wrote the sentence mentioning about his Aunt agreeing to your relationship

    Well as per me, you should tell him once and for all and give an ultimatum with the day / time that he should speak about the relationship with his Parents if not family.. He rather should have done it immediately when he has been so sure about marrying you without he being told to say so to them

    Beware !! And make sure you dont fall in some mental trap with this Pakistani Man. Also ask yourself, considering you being born and brought up in the UK would you be able to adjust in Pakistan, if this man would want to settle back down there and not in the UK ?

    You seems to be a very very patient, and honest girl.. Dont ruin your life this way.. Think about the pros and cons from each and every perspective.

    All i would wish you is a Very Good Luck ..

    Wa Salam !!

  6. You don't understand how cliche your story is. This kind of stuff happens all the time and is actually common in the Pakistani community. And it usually goes two ways; it either works out or goes completely south.

    I just don't want you have high hopes and be vigilant and just prepare yourself for rejection so at least you don't get affected by it.

    Give your man a deadline to sort things out by a certain period and if he cant deliver then move on.

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