Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Help on convincing parents

Assalamu alaikum,

I am a 16 year old guy from Yemen.  I have been bestfriends with a girl from my school who is a year junior to me since 5 years. Our friendship is unbreakable and she has helped me with my bipolar and the depression after i was sexually abused and assaulted twice.

A year back, we confessed our love for each other. We both belong from a staunch Islamic families, but still we got infatuated and kissed a few times. (Just kissed) and instantly regretted it due to the sin.

However the day we confessed we made a promise that we will marry each other and she talked to her parents and I talked to my mother. They have agreed but her family wants an early marriage but my mother is insistent of me waiting till i get older. She always gets mad at me when i mention this topic. Due to the guilt we have stopped talking since a week and hence my depression is coming back.

I havent talked to my dad because i want to be prepared fornthat talk and to convince him.

I want to be in a halal relationship with her as soon as possible because of the sins we have committed. I want my parents to send her a proposal at this age because I cant imagine my life without her.

Please guide me as to how do I talk to my father and how do I convince both my parents of sending a proposal right now and not wait till 10 years more. Please guide me in the light of Islam as to how do I tell them that although this age is tender, my feelings towards her completely pure.

Please help.


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3 Responses »

  1. I would strongly advice you to be very careful about the life-changing choices and promises you make at the tender and immature age of 15. Trust me when I tell you that you're not going to want the same things at 30 as you do at 15. Pretty much everyone I know that has married young are now either divorced or on to their 2nd marriage. Or 2nd divorce.

    I think your mother is right that you should not be looking into getting married in the near future. Give yourself time to mature and understand the responsibilities of marriage. Give yourself time to become financially stable and independent, then think of adding a wife into your life. You really are way too young to think of marriage...

  2. How are you going to provide for your family? At 15 you're not even out of school and you have your whole academic future ahead of you.

    Young marriages are good, very healthy for our civilisation, however you need to be careful not to ruin your chances of getting a good education to build a more stable career, which will serve you well for the future.

    I know a kid who got married when he was 15, he studies were damaged.

  3. Good suggestions from both you can just nikah with her and marriage with her later you should convince yoyr family and make dua that ALLAH help you.

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