Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can I convert this relationship into halal?


Assalamoalaikum WR WB my dear brothers & Sisters.

I just need a helping advise from all of you with my current situation. Asthagfirullah I'm 27 and I am into a big mess where I am in total love with a married lady who is 16 years older to me. She is a born muslim and was raised by hindu grand parents with all their traditions n values and even praying as well. Her dad is a muslim whereas mother is a hindu, her mother have gone through a lot of difficulties after her marriage with her muslim husband whose family treated her very badly after marriage and never accepted her as she came from hindu family even after she changed her name to muslim, stayed with him leaving her parents after marriage and changed everything for him to become muslim. They kept her outside of the house and treated her very badly.

This made her mother to leave her at her grand parents house for her upbringing as she was going through lot of difficulties with life and didn't wanted her childrens to go through anything. The lady I'm in love with was brought up with all hindu values worshipping idols and have no idea about islam except her muslim name. She always felt attracted to islam but no one helped her getting any information or helping her understand islam as her father was very modern who didn't pray, drank alcohol and married another lady as well.

I met this lady through one of my friend for doing video recording at her grand mother's funeral. During this process I came very close to all her family members and she started asking me questions about islam seeing my regular praying, reading quran and my values for everyone and respect for my parents.

We became so close during these process and have no clue we ended up falling in unstoppable love. I'm helping her a lot about understanding islam and she feels pulled to me and says, my coming in her life is the reason that she adapt islam in her life and become a good muslim. She is already married to a christian guy who is very good in nature but had relationship with different womens and drink alcohol n parties. She don't have a kid and says she don't want to spend rest of life with him as they can't stand with each other because he cheated on her. She is requesting him to divorce her but he is not willing to leave her at any cost, don't know the reason. I'm in overseas and live with my friends away from my parents and spend most of the time with this lady now.

I made her stop drinking alcohol and I daily teach her about islam and she is very happy and love me so mch because I'm brining her close to allah. One day we came so close asthagfirullah we became physical and right now our relationship is to a point where we can't stay without seeing eachother. She says she wants baby from me as she feels I'm the one who allah is willing to bless her with baby as she never was in love with her husband from her marriage.

She helped me a lot in getting a job and setting in life and even now she cooks food for me and cares for me like a wife in everything and I feel so blessed whenever I am with her. I really want to marry her and said her she needs to divorce her husband to be with me as she is married, and she says he is not leaving her inspite of giving so many warnings. She is broken with this situations and so am I, I love her so much and cannot see my life with any other person except her.

I'm a very good muslim but whenever we are seeing each other we are ending up making love. I just want to have advice from all of you how do I convert this releationship into halal and marry her please,as I am not able to go through this anymore. Please help me. Please.

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7 Responses »

  1. How can you say you are good Muslim? Having relationship with married lady n getting physical is haraam and you are a heavy sinner .Stop this n leave her ..

    • Brother
      You did not bring her closer to Emaan even you spoiled your own light of Emaan. How can you jump towards teaching her salah and quran when u did not start from basics? Did u tell her and yourself about the definition of MUSLIM? Its Submitting your Will to ALLAH. which you did not by visiting her and by comitting zina. What you guys are doing is not much different from her christian husband and her father.
      So actually she never knew wat a good muslim should be.. You are spoiling the image of a good muslim infront of her by continuing this sin.
      when you guys will be done with each other she will remeber you as lover or a boyfriend but NOT AS A GOOD MUSLIM. YOU NEVER PROVED YOURSELF AS ONE.
      WHY DONT YOU START A TAFSSER OF SURAH NOOR and well if she is muslim by birth then she can not stay wid a christian man as her husband. It is unlawful and haram in islam but as it seems u both dont actually bother about wat is haram and wat is halal....

  2. You ask for advice on how to "convert this relationship into halal"

    The answer is easy and I'm shocked you haven't figured it out. Break off ties with her, and once she has been divorced and is Muslim, mutual friends/family can re-connect the two of you so you can have a nikkah. What other options are there? There is no scenario in which you can continue a relationship with a married woman or even an unmarried Hindu woman.

    Personally I think you have to mature up a bit. Your actions are very irresponsible. You are quick to point out others who drink, cheat etc, but you do realize that in the eyes of Allah you are an adulterer as well? Also, this woman is 43 years old. By the time she gets divorced, converts to Islam and marries you, she will be 45. By that age, her chances of getting pregnant are about 1%. Even at age 43 it is highly unlikely that she will get pregnant as she has used about 95% of her egg supply and the ones that are left are likely damaged or of poor quality. She's probably using you to get out of a bad marriage. Please don't buy into her "I want a baby" story.

    Hopefully you will realize that this relationship can go no further. You can then ponder over your life choices and decisions. You are young enough to turn your life around. Take a few years to think about things before you decide to get married.

    • Asalamu aleikum
      Brother iam so shocked with your behavior run for your life and repent you have committed adultery with this old woman and there is no way you can change her becoz you didn't start to preach to her Islam actually you were flirting with her pretending to be a Muslim.iam so sorry to sound so harsh .brother you have to repent go back to Allah for Allah love those sinners who repent before its too late. Cut ties with her completely and concentrate on lifting up your faith.
      May Allah most high help you out of this ditch

  3. Asslamoalaikum......I am very upset I am having premature ejaculation...I really want to stop it ...plzz help to stop it?plzz help plz reply me I don't know how to publish post so I asked here...plzzzz

    • Brother,

      Maybe someone will answer you here, but to increase your chances of receiving a response, there are several headings in white at the top of this page, in the light blue row. One reads "Submit your Question," in which you will find instructions and a submission form.

      I hope this helps.


  4. She is little less than your mother age. somebody rightly said that you are not guiding her to islam but you yourself are drifting away from your deen in the company of this olddddd woman.

    Repent to Allah before it is tooo late.

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