Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I don’t know if I am still a Muslim or not?

Man praying salat in a fieldDear brother  and sister.

1st take my salam. Ascalamu alaikum.

I hope you all are well. But I am not well. I am in a great problem. I took birth in a Muslim family. From my childhood I was very Islamic minded. But in my teenage I went far from islam for lacking of the knowledge of islam. One of my friends told me that we are muslim so no tension. One day we must go to the jannat. I believed his words. But I did not know how to keep the iman till death.

Then I was doing many bad things such as watching porn, masturbation, zina, talk to non mahram girls and many more sins. I did not know that what I am doing is great sins. I forgot about akherah and death. My days was going well. But one day I was looking that where is my iman? I lost my iman.

After that I decided that I have to come back in islam. I was trying to leave every bad things and started praying salat. But when I started salat my mind was thinking about girls and bad things. I was becoming depressed. Suddenly I found that I called to Allah but where is Allah. I called Allah by mouth but I saw the known people in my heart. I don't know is it a shirk?

Day by day it was becoming hard. My mind was changed. I love Allah, I love prophet, I love Quran that I say in my mouth but my heart says the opposite. My depression was becoming higher. I couldn't share it to othar. I was trying to solve it myself but I couldn't.

Still now I am trying to get Allah but I cannot. 4 years have past my trying. But the result is zero. I pray five time but I cannot find Allah. I believe in Allah and the all rules from Allah. But sometime my heart say the opposite. I cannot fit Allah in my heart.

I do towba every time but Allah does not accept my towba. My depression is becoming higher. What can I do now. my brother or sister please suggest me. Otherwise I have to die without iman and have to fall in hell forever.

- Mostafa

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5 Responses »

  1. Allah SWT has accepted your toubah that is the reason your are trying so hard to find him. If Allah SWT does not forgive you then there is no point that you are still connected with him. Do not worry, just keep doing your salat and toubah one day you will realize that Allah SWT is in your heart. Remember one thing sometimes we get away from Allah due to Sheataan Allah SWT never leave us alone. He always with us. Good luck

    • WassalamAlekum

      The fact that you are seeking help and repenting shows that Allah’s guidance has come to you. Please continue with your Taubah and do Astagfar and SubhanAllah In abundance.
      Allah loves those who repent and seeks Allah’s pleasure. Even if your sin is the size of mountain, it will turn to blessing upon sincere repentance it is Allah’s Promise, He is Ar Rahman and ArRaheem.Never lose hope in Allah’s mercy.

      As far as your heart and depression is concerned, it is the wasawasa of Shaytan the cursed one ..stay stead fast and continue with your SalaH.
      Read and listen to Quran with meaning it will bring peace in your life.
      Mend family ties if it has gone bad.surtound your self with practicing Muslims who can bring positivity in your life.
      You don’t have talk about your sins with anyone, let it be between Allah and you.
      Start a new, a better reformed you.InshaAllah you will disappoint Shaytan.
      Allah knows best.
      May Allah forgive my shortcomings.

      Laa IllA ha Illah Unta Subhanika
      Inni KuntO MinnAdaalameem

      Correct version of various Prophetic Doa, you will find in Surah Prophet .Surah 21.

  2. Walekum Salam brother. I am not aalim but I must say theae feelings is because due to nafs. You did sins since long time so your nafs and heart is addicted of bad habits, which is being reflected in terms of feelings. Now to pure your heart and nafs you need to astagfar, zikr, read Quran with meaning and hadees. The best way is go in jamat for 40 days. People go in jamaat and stay in mosque for dawah and invite surroundings Muslim towards deen. During jamaat you will spend your 24 hours as per Sunnah and you will invite and listen bayan related to deen. I hope you issue will be resolved once you will spend time 40 days in jamaat. I believe your full life will be changed due to narakh of dawah in jamaat. You can find center of jamaat in your country in the city mosque. At least you can get it in capital of your country.

  3. Wa Alaikumussalam wa rahmatullah,

    I totally agree with above brother MD Imran's view.It will be the best way to get rid of your problem for ever because you will remain 24/7 in pure environment and will learn many many useful knowledge alongwith practical model.In sha Allah I believe you will enjoy your stay with jamat in true letter and spirit.

    Best Regards

    • Walekumsalam The thing is that you are afraid that you will be thrown in hell if you don't have the faith, is the proof that you do have faith, it is just overruned by the worldly things. FOCUS even more in your prayers. Read quaran with meaning and see the world with this prospective. Read about our prophet's life. And other prophits that were send on earth by Allah. And you will find peace after some time. You spent this much time away from Islam it will take some time to get back to Islam.
      May Allah accept your tauba and send his blessings upon you.

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