Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband has married another without telling me


My husband has married another woman and I didn't agree to it. He is sleeping with another and is planning on marrying her as well....can I leave him?

What should I do?

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5 Responses »

  1. Hi Ann,

    What your husband is totally unforgivable, so in my opinion,
    i would suggest that you leave him. It depends how
    strong your relationship, is if he's sleeping with other woman
    this shows that maybe he doesnt feel the same way about you
    I would say that theres no point in spending another minute with
    him because he has married another woman without your permission.
    Think about whether you still love him, if not,
    then maybe the right thing to do is end it.

    Hope this helps,
    and the best of luck to you..

  2. He is married to you then he married a 2nd woman and now he is sleeping with ANOTHER woman who he is not married to yet, but PLANS to marry?

    In Islam marrying more than one wife is permissible.However the Qur’an and Sunnah have laid down certain strict conditions for practicing polygamy, such as equal treatment of the wives in all aspects, being financially in a position to provide equally for both, spending equal time, etc. If he cannot do these things for you and the other wife then you should not stay with this man.

    But you should also realize that if you are living in a country that forbids polygamy, it would be fitna for him to take a second wife, as this would be going against the laws of the land in which you live. Despite the fact that Islamic law provides the dispensation for taking more than one wife, it is not compulsory (i.e. commanded by Allah such as prayer, fasting during Ramadan, zakat, etc.). However, as Muslims it is compulsory on us to obey the laws of the land in so much as they do not go against the command of Allah.

    Islam has taken a firm and decisive stance against Zina (fornication or adultery). Because your husband is sleeping with a woman he is not married to, he is committing zina.
    Allah and His Messenger have sounded dire warnings against adultery in so many ways. To list only a few instances:

    (And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way) (Al-Isra’ 17: 32).

    (And the servants of the Beneficent) are those who do not invoke another god with Allah, and who do not…commit fornication/adultery, for whoever does that shall receive the penalty; for him shall the torment be doubled on the day of resurrection, and therein he shall abide forever, disgraced, save him who repents and believes and does good works; those, Allah shall change their misdeeds into good works. And Allah is Forgiving, Compassionate) (Al-Furqan: 68-70).

    (The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment) (An-Nur 24: 2).

    The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whoever guarantees me that he will guard his chastity, I will guarantee him Paradise” (Al-Bukhari).

    Abu Hurayrah reports that the Messenger of Allah said, “No one commits adultery while still remaining a believer, for faith is more precious unto Allah than such an evil act!” In another version, it is stated, “When a person commits adultery he casts away from his neck the bond that ties him to Islam; if, however, he repents, Allah will accept his repentance” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud, An-Nisa’i and others).

    The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) further said: “[Under Islamic laws in an Islamic state] It is not lawful to shed the blood of a Muslim except for one of three sins: a married person committing fornication, and in just retribution for premeditated murder, and [for sin of treason involving] a person renouncing Islam, and thus leaving the community [to join the enemy camp in order to wage war against the faithful].” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, and An-Nasa’i)

    During his ascension, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was escorted by Jibreel and shown different types of punishments meted out to those guilty of various major offenses. While recounting the various scenes shown to him, he said, “Then Jibreel took me and we passed by a group of people with terribly inflated bodies emitting worst foul smells just like that of open sewers; when I enquired who they were, he replied, ‘These are those who commit adultery!’” (Ibn Khuzaymah)

    The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Faith is like a shirt that Allah places on those He chooses; but whoever commits adultery his shirt will be taken off from him; if he were to repent sincerely, Allah will place it back on him.” (Al-Bayhaqi)

    “There are three types of sinners that Allah will not speak to on the Day of Resurrection; neither He will purify them nor will He even look at them; rather they will suffer severe punishment: an older person who commits adultery, a king or ruler who lies to his subjects, and a poor person who acts arrogantly!” (Muslim and An-Nasa’i)

    “When adultery becomes rampant in a nation Allah will expose them to His chastisement.” (Abu Ya`la)

    “When promiscuous behavior becomes rampant in a nation, Allah will send upon them such (strange) diseases that their own ancestors never heard of.” (At-Tabarani)

    “There are seven categories of people who will be granted protection under the shade of Allah on the Day when there is no other shade;… among them is a young person who is seduced by a woman of great beauty and wealth and yet he rejected her advances saying ‘I fear Allah!’” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

    The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “O mankind! Beware of fornication/adultery for it entails six dire consequences: three of them relating to this world and three to the next world. As for the three that are related to this world, they are the following: it removes the glow of one’s face, brings poverty, and reduces the life-span. As for its dire consequences in the next world they are: it brings down the wrath of Allah upon the person, subjects him to terrible reckoning, and finally casts him in hell-fire” (Al-Bayhaqi).

    in other words

  3. Ann, Asalaamualaykum,

    I am sorry you are going through this difficult time. Of course you have the right to leave your husband, but whether this is the right thing or not, only you can decide.

    A man is permitted to take up to four wives under the condition that he treats you all equally and fulfils his role as a husband. So if he is a good husband, he will be fuliflling your emotional needs and maintaining you financially, he would be kind, protective and God fearing.

    You know your situation best and you know the character of your husband, so only you can decide.

    May Allah make things clearer for you and make your difficulty easy,

    SisterZ Editor

  4. From what you say it seems he is doing a very bad thing. Hopefully you are certain of what you are saying and not just going by assumption or greed or revenge, insha-Allah. As long as what you say holds true, leaving him would be best, as in for sometime be separated but not divorce. Keep in mind divorce is a big thing and should be avoided unless no option left. It is one f the things Allah doesn't like, but also Allah doesn't like for His creation to be oppressed.

    Just to let you know if you be patient till you are certain of what is occurring you will be greatly rewarded by Allah.

    I ask Allah to give you patience and quickly give you an answer and a way out of this situation. And I ask Allah to guide your husband in doing whats right and following the pious way.

    And Allah Subhanahu wa-tala Knows All and Knows Best.

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