Pregnant girlfriend wants abortion!
She is pregnant by her boyfriend and wants abortion
Salaam me and my girlfriend are both 22 and have found out she is pregnant.
We both know we have committed a sin but she does not want to keep it. She has given me every excuse in the book and even to the point where she says that our relationship and her getting to know me is a mistake And she don't want to know me no more.
I have tried to persuade her not to have an abortion and told her that I won't be a part of an even bigger sin that we have committed yet I'm not allowing her to get it done as I'm doing Dia for ever waking moment of the day for her to agree into marrying me if not keeping the baby and trying to make it work!
I love this girl more than my soul can handle may Allah swt give me the strength but I am running out of things to say and show her.
It is the first time we have been in this situation and Allah has blessed us with a chlid though it may be illegitimate I want to make this work but I am running out of options and the strength to hold her back from going for an abortion.
I am begging everyone here to help me as my time is running out. I don't wish to tell my family yet until we have decided to keep the baby or she goes ahead with the abortion. For anyone wanting to know she is about 7-8weeks pregnant.
please I am begging every Muslim brother and sister to help me help in changing her decision as I'm not going to run away from this responsibility. I'm trying to be there for her and support her in every way.
jazak Allah for reading and please do reply
- malik90
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I hate women like her who have no problem getting in to bed with men who're they are not married to, but they are not women and adults enough to face the consequences of their stupid choices. They just use the option to get an abortion as a solution to get an easy way out of the problems they've caused themselves. Absolutely horrifying!
I don't really have any advice to you, I'm sorry. Maybe you can tell her that you'll have no choice but to let her family know about her pregnancy?
@Adina I know right? I've seen so much girls like that, and pisses me off so badly....
In your post it's clearly shows she dont care about you, baby and the relation you both having. You can inform her family but I don't think it will turn nicely. They will blame you for everything and she dose not seem to be serious so if you even manage to make her marry it won't last long I think because it's like forcefully you making her understand. It's really hard to really say what you really should do.
u r ri8
Assalaamualaikam
Your girlfriend may well be terrified. She's realising the gravity of her situation, and facing the consequences of her actions.
Instead of being forceful, try asking her how she is feeling and why - it may be that through gentleness you can show her that you sincerely want to be a husband and father, and to be there for her.
If you both decide to marry and become a family, I urge you to do so in an Islamic way and to follow Islamic guidance from this point on. We cannot change the past, but we can repent for our sins and ensure that we do our best to improve our actions in the present and the future.
While you and she have indeed committed a grave sin, I feel that you are now showing insight and good character in recognising this and wanting to do the right thing and avoid further sin. Many men your age act like boys and run away from their mistakes and from difficult situations, but it reflects well on you that you are not doing this.
You could encourage her to read and reflect on surahs Aal-E-Imran and Maryam - these both reflect on the sanctity and blessing of new life.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
What you tow have done is terrible but like the above post said boys your age would run away
From something this big. But you choose to stay which is a good thing in your part your a good guy for doing that. Anyways, I would sit down with the girl till her why she doesn't wanna keep the baby what is the reason behind it. If she doesn't want to keep it I think you should talk to your family and you raise this child and keep it.
I think your girlfriend is probably really scared of facing her family. Maybe you should talk to her and explain to her how you feel, and your love for her. Don't be forceful. Let her make the choice. As I guess you can't force her to do what you want her to do. Give her a few options. For example if she decides to abort the baby then you don't want her to ever contact you again and if she decides to keep the baby then your willing to support her, love her and marry her. Also tell her the consequences she will have to face after this world. Maybe her faith in islam will stop her from going through a abortion.
Well I think she's just scared so she wants to be done with you out of fear but she doesn't mean it. She just doesn't know how she can face her family and besides telling them of the zina part there's a baby growing inside her your child. Don't listen to ppl who are negative about your situation everyone makes mistakes no ones perfect but I think the next step Is to marry her its haram to have an abortion cause your killing a innocent life but I'm not a sheikh to know the details of what to do in your situation I can't imagine what her family and yours would say, just try to get married as soon as possible and if you do no one has to know she's pregnant and then when you have your child together you were married so I mean tell your families the truth somehow so u can get married but don't allow outsiders to know and judge you I mean. If that makes sense so tell her family you want to marry her, and then if it works out she won't have to abort but no matter what don't abandon her no matter how hard it seems no one is to judge anyone only Allah is sabhanawatalah so don't worry brother marry her with her parents consent and try fixing thd problem cause even if they don't agree and she aborts the baby her virginity is gone and from my experience I had somewhat of a situation like that that I'm still on no man will want her cause of the zina thing so please don't leave her and marry no matter what because a woman these days its hard to pick up thd peices and inshallah Allah will help you and everyone makes mistakes its just how we handle it and learn from it, so try to get her parents consent marry her and don't leave her, try your best brother and call upon Allah because all I can give you is words ask Allah to help you and allahs the only one that can so inshallah it will all be okay, goodluck brother!:)
You have to understand that your predicament and the situation of the OP's girlfriend are different. What could have worked for you might not work for her. She is still not on the right path and there is no way to know whether she will ever be. There is no guarantee that a marriage with a muslim who doesnt understand the harms of girlfriend-boyfriend relation and abortion will turn out right. I think the best the OP could do is try to find the right path and hope that his girlfriend will follow him and will give up the idea of abortion.
Brother,
Your girlfriend is scared beyond your wildest imagination. How either of you never considered that something like this could happen is beyond me but...here you are.
As I sit here typing to you, I can't even begin to feel what you are feeling. Stressed, scared, sick and afraid. What is the relationship you have with your father? Can you pull him aside somewhere and speak with him? Is he a man that will listen to you or will he simply blow up? Are your parents rational people that will listen to you and hear you out or are they both going to hit the roof?
If they are...and even if they are not, I encourage you now...not tomorrow...now, to call them to sit with you. Just say what you have to say and hold nothing back. I do realize that you and this girl have screwed up big time and have put the cart in front of the horse so to speak however...you can both take this situation and turn it around.
Rather than murder this unborn child (who has no sin whatsoever), the two of you could with your parents help and guidance, marry. Is it what anyone planned? No. However, the two of you were old enough to lie in bed together so now...you can make the bed together.
I realize that this is nothing that anyone had planned here but now we aren't just talking about you or this girl...we are talking about a life that lie's inside the womb of this girl. People use the word "abortion" without really considering what it means. It is more than a word...it is murder. It is when the fetus is ripped apart as if it were nothing...it's life ended. You and I have had the right to a life and this child has a right to a life too.
I realize what I write are mere words on a webpage and I am not in your shoes however if my son were in your predicament...I would want him to come to me. I would at least want him to know that I care enough to listen to him and help guide him the best that I can as a parent should.
Please don't delay your situation any longer. This girlfriend of yours is in a fine mess and honestly, the best thing you could do right now is talk to your parents. May Allah give you strength and courage to do what you need to do.
Salam
Very compassionate and constructive answer, thank you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
You as always, are most welcome. May Allah guide this brother and this girl in a direction that will be a positive outcome for all involved.
Salam
Very nice answer... Really yesterday my cousin sister called me and said she is 8 weeks pregnant and her husband don't want this child right now . My sister was forced to go to hospital to have an abortion when the doc was doing ultrasound my sister told me when I saw the little life inside me heart was beating she can here she walked out from the hospital. I hope this sister may feel it soon then later.
I am happy that your sister walked out from the hospital. When we are married, sometimes there is never a "right" time to have a child...sometimes it just is. Good for her. May Allah make things easy for her.
Salam
Well said masha'Allah.
Masha 'Allah. Real nice answer.
Assalamualaikum Warahamtullahi Wabarakaatuhu Akhi.
I think you have received sound advice from our wonderful brothers and sisters here.
You have only two choices
1. Aborting the child and committing a much heinous crime
2. Talking to Parents and convincing your GF about NOT trying to kill something so soft and pure .
I think the Ultra sound trick should work, maybe if she sees that tiny heart beating, she might feel an attachment towards a innocent soul.
Brother further more do Isthigfaar.. lots and lots of it. Don't slacken in Dua and Istigfaar cuz trust me most of us underestimate the value of both, while they have the power to DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.
Ask Allah to ease your situation and BY ALLAH he will show you a way to make your wrong into a right and turn you into a better man.
Perhaps Allah has greater plans for you, but you have to trust that HE IS THERE FOR YOU FIRST AND TURN TO HIM FIRST AND FOREMOST
Asslamualakum, If a muslim family want to adopt ur baby than u both ok.
I'm
Sorry but addnini don't like what u said. Firstly she
Neve made it herself as had it with him:
Obviously she is very scared maybe of her family.
Why did u guys not think about this first?
It's not her fault, she's making an
Mistake wouldn't advice her to have an abortion.
But don't blame her or pinpoint her or say things that will push her way from
U.
You seem like a really good guy, she doesn't deserve a guy like you and it wouldn't be haraam for you if she decides to abort the baby against your wishes. At least I think it wouldn't.....Unfortunately, legally its the womens decision to decide whether she wants to keep the baby or not so you can't take any legal actions. Is she muslim as well?
Would you dont know the sin, or have no fear from Allah. If so, why you went near the sin. Keep away. You are responsible of that. Islamically abortion is haram even it is due to zina. If you child abortion take place you will be equal responsible at the day of judgment because abortion is like the murder. If you like any girl why not you did marry? Alaas you should do tobah, I will advise you to marry her as soon as possible.
Nor come near to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).
Surah 17 Verse 32
Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And God is well acquainted with all that they do.
Surah 24 Verse 30
I went through this. N I am suffering from my actions still. I hope anyone doing the same realises its worse because nothing will take that away. Every day I think. I fell ill and have been through everything alone because I could never trust anyone. My partner said to tell parents but I feared to lose my family and had so many pressures. It didn't help that my partner was short tempered and I had trust issues because he had so many problems. He left me after I did because I was wrong for him he said. But what upset me was he never once cared knowing I went through everything alone. I seem happy but really im depressed. I waitied years to marry him he didn't wanna do things right way befor.every the I think about my first baby I feel terrible . I loved and did everything for him . I just was scared to hurt my parents. I let allah down . I got sucked into bad so bad and it lead me to such a bad depressive life that even I didn't realise. Even though he was trying to do he right thing I kno deep in my heart he's wrong for me because he used to abuse me when he was angry n had so many issues and lied so much. I don't kno what I really was to him. Mayb a joke. I haven't contacted him for a while because I kno I have done bad but he used to mentally kill me . Never let anyone into ur life unless ur married to them. I have always been serious about my religion n always tried keeping him on track but it ended with me doing a deadly sin may Allah forgive me . No one will understand what its like but ppl get sucked into bad and u fall into stupid traps and then u just feel weak.