We had sex, can we get married?
I am 22 years old & am doing job I have a girl friend which is 20 years I love my girl friend since last 7 years I can't live without her for a while she too loves me the same.
I have never touched her till last year then I started sexual relations with her I enjoyed sex 4-5 times with her now please suggest me what should we do now, are we eligible to get marry & how we can get marry, as we have decided to get marry (inisha allah)
-stranger1819
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Salaam brother.
As far as I am aware you can still get married InshaAllah. But zina is a huge sin so you need to acknowledge this sin, and change and repent. This means stopping dating and unislamic contact (including talking without mahram present) while you are not married. Even if you get engaged, you still need to adhere to these rules. So do not be alone with her/talk alone with her. Make sincere tawbah (both of you) for doing zina and work to get closer to your deen. InshaAllah if you reform and get close to your deen, Allah will bless your marriage.
So in short, you can marry but you both need to regret the sin, repent and start working towards marriage. While you are not married you should not meet unless she has a mahram with her and all contact should be within Islamic boundaries. Also if you continue meeting her unislamically etc be aware that this could affect your chances of marrying her if her family find out.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
salam
I'm shocked to see how casual your are being about having committed zina and i assume you are still doing it. If you have decided to marry, what are you waiting for. No where in your post have you said that you are repentant of your sins- its as if thats not even important.
Like sister Sara said, stay away from your girlfriend. Send your parents to her house with a proposal and wait for thier reply. You cannot date her nor stay in touch with her until you marry her.
Please repent for your sins and pray for gudiance from Allah.
Agreed!
-Helping Sister
"I'm shocked to see how casual your are being about having committed zina and i assume you are still doing it. If you have decided to marry, what are you waiting for. No where in your post have you said that you are repentant of your sins- its as if thats not even important"
Give the guy a break, he is seeking advice and him asking shows he cares and wants to repent otherwise he wouldn't want to marry the girl and would prob keep her as a girlfriend and 'muslim brother' and 'hafsha' who r u to judge him. He didn't ask for ur feelings on his post. He asked if he can marry the girl. No-one is perfect and we r all trying our own ways. And back to the poor 22 year old, yes u can marry her and u should do it as soon as u can, it's good that ur doing a job and inshallah u can support ur wife so u should do it if its the right time and tbh if uv done zinnah for the past year and she has been ur gf for 7 years then why stop talking to her just so u can marry her, just marry her as soon as possible. And sister Sara maybe her family already know, maybe his family know too. I mean it has been 7 years. Plus I don't see why a family would stop their daughter from marry a guy she has been dating for 7 years. That's just silly, If it were my daughter I would make her marry him and only him. But anyway times have changed since our families came to this country parents r not the same as they used to be. Plus this is Britain women are allowed to work and walk the streets at all times but they can't in eastern countries. I'm not very islamic so can't give much advice but one thing I can say is give 'ADVICE' not judgement that's for hafsha and Muslim brother.
i agree amir =D
I agree, give him a break. He has been with her for seven years and it's very tempting not too touch, I actually find that to be an accomplishment, lol, well just kidding. He has not been casual about it at all since he is making a big step, MARRIAGE. I say good for you, and yes of course you can marry her. Make a proposal ASAP. And repent your heart and soul out and make sure you mean it! I wish you guys the best 🙂 <3 good luck
brother i ma slef have done the same mistake and crying for what i have done .Bro we are sinners but Allah is the greatest Rahim so dont worry ,and get forgivness from Allah.And second thing i know its going to be hard to not taking to her for sometyme but believe me thats the only time wen u can change .May Allah be peased upon us.