Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I will marry a non-Muslim as I can’t help; is it right to choose him as a life partner?

Marriages betweent the people of different faiths are becoming a norm.

Assalam O Alaikum,

I am an 18 year old Muslim girl. I am into a relationship with a non-Muslim for the past 6 years. I know that my parents will never give their consent, but I cannot help. I will marry him only. His family has accepted me, and the best part is that I will be continuing my religion, my beliefs without any restrictions. And this is not a lie but really true. Am I doing the right thing by choosing him as my life partner?

Please help,


Tagged as: , , ,

24 Responses »

  1. Sister Suadrif
    Since you are asking us strangers, you already know in your heart what the answer is going to be. It will be the same as what your family would give you.

    Trust me, parents may "seem" to not always be "right" but they brought you into this world and will only want the best for you. No, the best is not that you "will be continuing my religion, my beliefs without restriction" bec you already are NOT doing it, so there is no question about "continuing". IF you were TRULY practising your religion, you would know that for the past SIX years you have been living in one of the major sins - and trust me, zina is a major sin in ALL religions, their followers have just distorted the 10 commandments of Moses and you will know.

    Please stop thinking from your heart but think from your brain and don't waste your precious life. May Allah guide you back to sirat e mustaqeem.

  2. Your making a big WRONG decision
    So what if your allowed to follow your own religion? What about the kids you will have have you thought about them how their life will come out? You will be accountable for them children what about the parents you will be leaving? They brought you up fed u clothed you your gonna leave them for a man you just know!????!!
    stop being in denial and leave this man before you end up doing more sin.

  3. Salaams,

    Just want to point out a couple of important things:

    You said you have been in a relationship with this person for 6 years. Being that you are now 18, that would mean this so-called relationship started when you were 12. There is no way anyone reading your post is going to consider this a valid relationship from the age of 12. I think this is better classified as a long standing infatuation than a legitimate relationship. No marriage can stand upon that kind of foundation.

    Secondly, you said "the best thing" is that you will keep your faith despite marrying him. Do you also consider it "the best thing" that this marriage would not even be considered valid in the eyes of Allah, since he is not Muslim? Is it "the best thing" that you would be living in zina under a delusion that you are married, and could risk punishment in hellfire for such sin?

    You say all of this is "true and not a lie", but you have exchanged the real truth for falsehood. You are trying to tell us you have no choice, but in truth you will be accountable for this choice on the day of judgment. You are on a very dangerous path, so my best advice to you is to stop, turn around and start walking in the real truth of Islam. Pleasure in this life is not worth pain unimagineable in the next.

    -Amy Editor

  4. Salaams,

    Nadia, your response is confusing. On one hand, you are making points based on Islamic principles as to why this poster should not continue her relationship. However, in the midst of everything you wrote, I detect some sarcasm and disdain against the very evidences you provide.

    Also, you said "I guess they didn’t know that Judaism is based on maternal lineage. The mother determines the religion of the children". Who is "they"? It sounds like you are referring to Muslims, as though you are not one yourself? No problem if you're not, but I think it's only fair to warn you that since this is an Islamic website, advice given that goes against the tenets of Islam is subject to being removed from a thread. By the way, it really wouldn't matter that Judaism follows a maternal lineage when determining the faith of children, because Islam isn't subject to what another religion follows. Muslims follow Islam, they don't follow Judaism.

    I hope that whatever negative ideas or misconceptions you have about Islam can be corrected and clarified as you spend more time on this site. I agree with you that a lot of people may have tainted Islam or twisted it according to their cultural likings, but the real beauty of it does supercede that if one is patient and determined enough to look for it.

    -Amy Editor

    • sister amy,

      thank you for pointing my mistake that i made it to this sister. i am by born muislim. yes i agree that i have some less knowladge about islam. actually this think i read it long time ago in one artical thats what i remember and said it i am sorry i misguid this sister. i do want to learn more about islam and want to learn correctly. thank you again for guid me in right way.

      • I hope I didn't hurt your feelings, I just wasn't able to make sense of what you said at first in light of the rest of the post. I understand you copied the rest from somewhere else. I had read some of your answers on other questions and it just didn't sound like you. I guess we can all take a lesson to be careful what we read before copy/pasting it into something lol!

        -Amy Editor

        • Hi Amy,I like how you asked if Nadia feelings were hurt,you seem sweet and compassionate in your responses and that is what people need in this world,some of these comments I read on this site don't sound like they are coming from a place of love

    • Hi Amy,whenever I see your picture on your post ,it looks like skin on a mans back with a tattoo on it,I know that not what it is,but that's what it looks like,gives me the creeps

      • Salaams,

        The picture is neither a tattoo nor anything to do with a man's back. It is a painting of the name of Allah in Arabic. We should strive to maintain respect for the name of Allah, especially when written in Arabic, do be careful when you say it "gives you the creeps" probably is better to keep that part from being said.

        -Amy Editor

        • Yes I know what it says,as I posted earlier,thx

        • Salam I know that your intentions are pure,please take another look and it is with sincere intent that I am telling you this.I cannot be the only one that finds that this pic could look like something that it was not intended for

          • Yes Jenna, you are the only one. To me it doesn't look anything like what you have described. Get over it.


    • I deleted Nadia's response. I think she just copied and pasted it without realizing what she was copying.

      Wael Editor

      • Unfortunately doesn't matter my family is offended by the pic and I'm sad to say that I won't be allowed to go on this site anymore

        • Good. This site could do without your sarcastic, offensive and nonsensical comments.

        • Why is that ? There is much more in this site than just that pic. Many things can be learned from here walla. At first look, I too thought it was a bald guy's head with Allah name on it. It is mainly because of its small sized pic which is causing confusion. But it really doesn't matter if intention is good.

          • Salaams,

            Let's get off the topic of what my avatar looks like. All of these "interpretations" have nothing to do with the actual picture itself; they are the imaginations of ones nafs and rooted in nafs. It's the same kind of transference mechanism that is used with psychological tests like the Rorschach inkblot test....but Astaghfirullah we shouldn't be talking like this abou the Holy name of Allah.


  5. Salam to all,

    Dear suadrif,

    Before giving any type of advice, i would like to know whether u have just posted this to check what we people say or is this the truth of ur life.

    I read all the above comments and i really support Amy for the suggestions and good piece of advice.

    There are few questions you have to answer.

    1. How could u make relation with a boy at the age of 12 and what do u name it?

    2. How could this relation endure so long with such different ways you both have? what were the basis of your mutual understanding? what were the things you two did to maintain this relation?

    3. Do u know about Islam or you are just a so called born Muslim with no knowledge of Islam?

    4. Are you still a virgin?

    5. What do u actually mean by love and marriage after love with a non Muslim? could you please define what marriage is for your boy friend?

    6. Do you what the importance of religion is? could you define how your recognized by your religion?

    The questions above are not a type of exam but your answers will help me give you the most suitable answer you are looking for.

    Please do reply only if you look for good Islamic Advice.


    Sayed Baheer Peerzada

    • Sayed, it's not appropriate to ask the sister if she is still a virgin. In any case, most of these questions are irrelevant. It is patently forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim, regardless of circumstances. Similarly, a boyfriend/girlfriend type of intimate relationship is also forbidden and is a sin.

      Wael Editor

  6. Wa'alykumSalam sister *Suadrif

    Sister, I would first advice you to leave this " boyfriend" of yours for ever. Forget him. Shaytan is playing with you and shaytan is almost succeeding. Glad that you came here to seek ISLAMIC advice. By taking heed to our advices, you are killing the shaytan. Your relationship with this boy is a SIN SIN SIN. Theres no benefit being with him, only SIN. For every second you talk to him or etc, Allah's WRATH is on you. and the angels are cursing you. Be a good muslimah and follow the path of Allah and his prophet.

    You are only 18 and is still immature, main reason is that, you got your " boyfriend" at the age of 12. I dont know how old is your " boyfriend " but this is clearly, underage relationship. You are not in your mind, you are now emotionally blind and deceived by love. Oh sister, if you dont remove that blindfold on yours eyes, mind and heart, then I'm sorry to say, you borught yourself a severe punishment in this life and the hereafter.

    the best part is that I will be continuing my religion, my beliefs without any restrictions. And this is not a lie but really true.

    Sorry to say, but this " best part " is infact the " worst part ", because even though you may be " continuing your religion, your beliefs etc " it will all be void for openly disobeying Allah's decree. For inderectly taking his words for jest, when the Qur'an is clear that muslimahs are not allowed to marry men from other religions except muslim men. You may seem to be continuing your religion but after marry a disbeliever, Allah will slowly seal your heart and you may loose your iman. Then after that, HELL wil be at your sight.

    Am I doing the right thing by choosing him as my life partner?

    Allah set certain rules and regulation for us ( muslims ) to obey willingly. So lets see if you are doing the right thing to choose him as your life partner.

    Allah says in the Qur'an,

    “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to non-believers till they believe and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those non believers invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat clear to mankind that they may remember”

    [al-Baqarah 2:221]

    "They (muslim women) are not lawful (wives) for the Unbelievers, nor are the (Unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them"

    [Quran 60:10]

    Inna lilahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon sister, Allah has indeed commanded you to NEVER marry non-believers. You must NEVER go against him sister. If you do, then you certainly have a free TRIP TO HELL !!!

    We have already warned you to leave your " boyfriend " forever because:

    A) It is NOT permissible to talk to- or have any relationship with non mahram pre-wedding.
    B) You can never marry him because your marriage will be void in the eyes of Allah.

    So stop sinning, and take heed to our advice.

    Sister remember that, if you do go ahead in continuing your relationship and marrying him, then WE are not the looser.. But you will be the looser in this life and in the hereafter. By marrying him, your whole life with him will be a life of ZINA. Every second spend with him, is a sin recorded. Certainly, your hereafter will be hell even though you may continue to practice your religion.

    So sister, stop sinning, never enter a relationship again ever. Do lots and lots of tawbah. Ask Allah to forgive you for the sins you have committed intentionally and ignorantly. Pray your prayers 5 times and FEAR Allah for the punishment of Allah is true.

    If you do fear Allah, then take our advices and I wish the best in your life. Insha'ALlah..

  7. Salam sister in question,

    Sister, at such a tender age you involved yourself in a relationship which is not allowed in Islam. Allah (swt) have strictly forbiden boy and girl relationship outside of marriage and there is sever punishment in the Hereafter if one doesn't repent in this given life.

    Sister, please come to realisation that what you are doing or what you are desiring is unlawful doing and unlawful desire. Something which is not within the fold of Islam: relationship before marriage and muslim girl marrying non-Muslim boy.

    My advise to you is tell the boy that your involved with if he is willing to accept Islam wholeheartly, not just to marry you but truly believes in existence of Allah (swt) and His Commands. If he accepts Islam great, then you can inform your family that you want to marry a revert brother, but, if he doesn't believe or believes but doesn't want to accept then you MUST leave and forget him, as you need to takecare and protect your SOUL for your Hereafter.

    Please do not wait around till he accepts Islam. If at first instance he says 'no' then you must break all contacts/ communications with him. And if he 'yes' to Islam then you must immediatley involve your respected family and get married as soon as, though I may give him sometime to see if he genuinly starts to practise Islam (at least starts to perform the 5 daily prayers and putting greater effort to learn about Islam) and whilst he may do all this, you cannot be in communication with him.

    Whatever, decision you make, ensure that decision primarly pleases Allah (swt) alone before your desires.

    May Allah (swt) makes this trail of life easy for you-ameen.

    Your sister, Parveen.

  8. Assalmualikum

    dear never marry hindu boy ur doing haram ur marriage will be invalid

    in islam and it is considered a zina ( illegal sex)

    plz get out from him and think about muslim boys their r many good

    muslims boys who want to marry why dont u select muslim boys

    dear u r going on wrong path

    in islam it is probhited to marry with hindus

    how can u give ur body to hindu a stone worshipper to enjoy as he want

    plz dont do this

    if u marry u will be no more muslim and his hindu parents make u slowly

    step by step in to hindu religious

    think about ur parents and allaha who created u and these universe

  9. Dear

    dont ruin ur life with ur hands dont marry that idol worshipper

    forget him and ask ur parent to seek a good muslim boy for u to get marry

    their r many good young muslim boys like me who want to get marry good muslim girls

    plz dont be self fish think about ur parents and allaha who sent u to this world

    think about our religious i,e islam

    do do haram

    break all relations with that hindu boy and dont evey meet him in future

  10. dont do haram and do go with him

    pray namaz 5 times a day and ask for allaha to forgiveness because u did big crime
    since last six years by making friend ship with that hind idol stone worshipped

    forget him and live good happy life read quran and namaz and marry to only muslim boy

Leave a Response