Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Addicted to porn and masturbation, how to get out of it?

Masturbation: Effects on Human Health

How to conquer bad habits?

asslamoalaikum,

i am18 and troubled ......i have committed terrible sins and i am highly shameful of them but yet i recommit them.....i am addicted to porn and eventually masturbation since last 2 years........

every time i do it i become more of a sinner and it depresses me and angers me too ..........i feel ashamed of my existence sometimes ......i let my mom and dad down ........i break my promises to Allah and i suck up at everything whether academically or morally.

i try so hard not to do it next time but i end up the same way always ........i was once a bright student of my class and now i dont know whats happening to me......i cant let this go on in my life, i feel low in front of Allah ..i dunno whether he'll ever forgive me .......

i need a way to get out of this ,plzz suggest something helpful........help a brother.

Allah hafiz,

- Chris


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9 Responses »

  1. Masturbation is defined as the manual stimulation of the male or female genitals, not by sexual intercourse, designed to produce an orgasm. Masturbation is totally forbidden in Shari’ah.

    One of the most humiliating problems that the constant male masturbator suffers from when he attempts to have sexual relations is premature ejaculation or the failure to maintain an erection. When a person is masturbating, he tends to reach his orgasm as quickly as possible but in sexual intercourse, he normally has to attempt to control his excitement which can impose a great strain on those who indulge in self abuse over a lengthy period.

    Those who achieve insufficient satisfaction from sexual intercourse and return to masturbation or never give it up suffer a great torment. Sex life is empty for them, which leads to many more problems, marital disputes, divorce, etc.

    Therefore, people who continuously masturbate lose out all round. The physical pleasure becomes reduced to a natural act like urinating or excreting and at the back of their minds there is an awareness that they are missing out on the real pleasures of life. No adult can honestly claim to masturbate without a guilty feeling of complete uselessness. Masturbation is merely an exhaustive rather than constructive undertaking resulting in nothing but total loss. Once orgasm has been achieved, there is nothing left except a feeling of complete emptiness.

    Steps in overcoming masturbation

    Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female. And you can also be cured if you determine that it must be so. If you want to give it up, you need will power and determination. Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘The Niyyat of a believer is better than the act.’

    This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. Firstly, you must decide that you will end this practice and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a wish more than knowing that it is good for you. You must realize that this is a great evil and you have to want to give it up.

    It must be actually a decision. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. Ask Allah to help you and give you strength and steadfastness to succeed.

    After you have made this decision then observe the following specific guidelines.

    Guidelines 1. First step is to realize that you are violating Allah’s command and you are bringing upon yourself a life long destruction and harm.

    2. Never touch the intimate parts of your body unnecessarily.

    3. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. Remember, an idle mind is the devil’s (Shaytaan) workshop.

    4. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don’t suppose that both of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind.

    The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things. It is mentioned in a Hadith that a person is upon the way of his friend. (Bukhari, Tirmizi)

    5. When you bath, do so as quick as possible.

    6. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing, you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking and the temptation would leave you.
    If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, engage in something useful. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you focus your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

    7. Never look at pornographic material.

    8. The attitude of the individual has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control this habit. The person must first realize the evil of this act. Secondly he must understand the reason for this behavior.

    After these 2 steps, the individual needs to become sensitive to the situations and conditions which may cause a person to commit this vile act. Hence a person must guard himself from anything, which may trigger a desire for this act. By following these steps, a person gains the ability to gain victory from this act, hence the power to control this filthy practice is developed. Remember you need also a bit of will-power.

    ADVICES

    1. MAKE Duaa daily; seek help from Allah, this will strengthen you against temptation.

    2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercises. The exercise reduces emotional tension and depression and is absolutely basic to the solution to this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

    3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.

    4. Set goals of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, a month, a year and finally commit to never doing it again. Till you don’t commit yourself, to never indulging yourself in this vile act, you’ll always be open to temptation.

    6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

    7. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged, these emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a Kitab, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

    8. Start frequenting the Musjid. Make it a daily practice to recite part of the Quraan. Find out about authentic books which you can read from your local Aalim.

    9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you. Color the day on which you masturbate black. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self-control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

    10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall in detail what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

    11. In the field of psychotherapy, there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy .When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self control, it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

    Allah is the forgiver just when you have illicit intentions remember Allah is watching u... Wud u do it in public?? No.

  2. Chris, the real problem is the pornography, which is a serious sin and a corruption of the soul and heart. You must make tawbah to Allah, and take steps to prevent the behavior from reoccuring.

    We've answered a number of questions from people having problems with pornography, either themselves or with husbands or other family members. Please see some of these:

    I miss the sex i had with my ex-husband, I turn to porn as a result

    I can’t stop watching porn, I feel guilty then repent but somehow end up watching again. Please help.

    Porn and masturbation have made me lose confidence

    Masturbation and Watching Porn During Ramadan

    Friend’s porn addiction, how do I help her?

    How should I handle my wife who watches pornography?

    Husband and Wife watching porn together

    13 year old with pornography problem

    Should I stay married to a man I have lost all respect for?

    Husband keeps friendships with women and watches pornography

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    Failing marriage, we live separate lives

    My husband does not make me feel loved during intimacy and I dislike his habits

    How to get rid of porn and masturbation

    My husband is addicted to online porn

    I am a girl addicted to sex websites, I feel guilty

    Is watching pornographic material haram in Islam?

    How can I get rid of my habit of watching porn as it’s haram in Islam

    I’m straight but masturbated to lesbian porn, please help

    Questions about love, sex and pornography

    Religious father has turned to porn and prostitutes

    My father views pornography on the internet – what can I do about it?

    Masturbation

    As for the masturbation, I don't consider the act of masturbation per se as haram, People typically cite the Quranic verses on chastity as proof. However, the fundamental definition of chastity is abstention from sexual intercourse. To extend it to touching one's own body makes no sense.

    That's not to say that habitual masturbation is not a problem. As I've said previously, it can result in the following problems:

    1. If done excessively, it will interfere with your prayers and your lifestyle in general. In that case it becomes a destructive influence in your life. I don't happen to believe that masturbation is haram, as I find no convincing evidence of that in Islam, but I do think that it can be a negative influence sometimes.

    2. If masturbation is accompanied by kinky fantasies, you may become fixated on those fantasies or fetishes, and this may damage your ability to have a normal, healthy sex life when married; it may also lead to one pursuing his fantasies and engaging in haram acts.

    3. From a health perspective, I suppose if it's done excessively you could end up with tendinitis of the wrist or elbow. You could also abrade the skin on your privates if you have rough hands. If a woman inserts an object, it could become stuck.

    4. AskMen.com says, "Masturbating can sometimes create an individual orgasm effect where we train our bodies to respond to our own familiar touch and have a reduced response to other people’s touch, resulting in a tougher time reaching climax with others. A lot of guys can relate to this."

    5. AskMen also says, "chronic masturbating can affect our brain and body chemistry because it can overproduce sex hormones and neurotransmitters. This overproduction impacts each person differently, and can range from fatigue, pelvic pain, vision changes, lower back pain, testicular pain, or hair loss. There is current research that states increased testosterone production is linked to DHT production, which is associated with male pattern hair loss... If you notice any of these effects, try cutting back on your masturbation habits for a few months and see if it helps alleviate your symptoms. If the symptoms are still there, you might as well keep tugging away and see a doctor for a medical checkup."

    So, basically, there could be some health and spiritual problems associated with chronic or compulsive masturbation.

    On the other hand, there are some documented health benefits associated with occasional masturbation: lower blood pressure, lower incidence of prostate cancer, prevents incontinence, and causes the release of mood-enhancing hormones like dopamine.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Google "purify your gaze" and sign up for their program. Inshallah it will be helpful.

  4. ASSALAMALAIKUM
    The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, said: “The master of invocations for forgiveness is that the servant says:
    ‘Allãhumma ‘anta rabbee, lã ‘ilãha ‘illã ‘anta, khalaqtanee, wa ‘anã `abduka, wa ‘anã `alã `ahdika wa wa`dika mastata`tu, ‘a`outhu bika min sharri ma sana`tu, ‘aboo’u laka bini`matika ‘alayya, wa ‘aboo’u bithambee, faghfirlee fa’innahu lã yaghfiru ‘aththunooba ‘illã ‘anta.
    O’ my ‘ilãh You are my Lord, there is no ‘ilãh but You. You created me, and I am your bondservant, and I will stick to my covenant and promise [of faith and sincere obedience] to You, as to my ability. I seek refuge in You from the evil of what I have done, I acknowledge, to You, your bounties upon me, and I acknowledge, to You, my sin. Thus forgive me, for none forgives sins except You.
    Whoever says this as he enters upon evening, then, dies that night, he would enter Paradise; and if one says this as he enters upon morning, then, dies that day, he would enter Paradise”. [Al-Bukhari]
    The servant is always in the blessings of Allah which necessitate thankfulness, and in sinfulness which requires seeking forgiveness. Both of these matters are required and essential for the servant at all times, as the servant does not cease to alternate between Allaah’s (various) favors and blessings, and does not cease to be in need of repentance and seeking forgiveness.
    The Power of Istighfar – Astaghfirullah (I seek forgiveness of Allah)
    People often forget the importance of the simple yet powerful dua (supplication) – Istighfar i.e., saying “Astaghfirullah” (I seek forgiveness of Allah). Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to recite this at least 100 times a day. Let us see the benefits and virtues of reciting this simple beautiful supplication insha Allah.
    Istighfar (Astaghfirullah) is the gateway of relief and happiness. Whenever you are in distress start reciting it and Insha Allah it will take you out of your anxiety and will put you in a peaceful situation and will give you happiness.
    Istighfar removes anxiety and duas are answered.
    Istighfar opens the door of sustenance.
    Istighfar opens the door of mercy.
    Istighfar opens the door of knowledge.
    Istighfar is also gateway of productivity.
    Istighfar relieves you. When you feel that sadness within you, when you are disturbed and frustrated, when anxiety surrounds you, say “Astaghfirullah” “Astaghfirullah”…
    Reciting Astaghfiruallah is an effective method of calming our self and wipes away the variety of worldly worries from our mind and body. It may also help us, if we are suffering from depression, it calm us and lessen our depression.
    Astaghfirullah also helps us to refrain from all forms of sins. Regularly saying this reminds us that Allah is everywhere and in this way there is very small chances of doing wrongful actions.
    Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,
    “If anyone constantly seeks pardon (from Allah), Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide sustenance for him from where he expects not.” [Abu Dawud].
    In another hadith, Abdullah bin Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said:
    “The one who (regularly) says Istighfaar, that is, frequently repent to Allah Ta’aala for sins committed, Allah Azza Wa-Jal will open a path from poverty and difficulties. All sorrow and hardship will be removed, and in its place prosperity and contentment granted. One will receive sustenance from unimagined and unexpected sources.”
    Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) has said in another Hadith:
    “The one who seeks forgiveness for Muslim males and females from Allah Ta’aala twenty six or twenty five times every day, Allah Ta’ala will count that person among those whose Du’a is accepted, and through the barakah of whom those on earth gain Rizq (sustenance).”

  5. assalamu alikkum
    our guardian almighty ALLAH most merciful most beneficial guide us through the path that is best for us he will punish so intensely if we disobey him.. he is watching us all the times ..and ALLAH's angels are always accompanied with us they use to pray for our forgiveness which is depicted in many hadith's ,just think about how they will ask allah for our forgiveness if they sees u when u r watching porn even with a thought that u r commiting sin, create that modesty,as the modesty is a main part of iman ,our beloved prophet (s.a.w) taught us alot about modesty.. may ALLAH save us from those sathanic whispers that leads to forgetting about the modesty, we have to keep in front of ALLAH.anyway ,dont lose hope; try slowly atleast think about that ,allah created this guilty feeling in ur mind that made u to ask this.... now do tasbih namaz .. it really gonna help (inshah allah) ..make it very slowly with patience ..let sathan fly away ..stand in front of ALLAH seeking his forgiveness whole heartedly ..make a habit of reciting quran(its meaning) conduct a strong jihad by fighting the evil spirit in u.. remember mote u watch or do denying what ur spirit says more ur heart is going to be diseased making u far away from ur creator and closer to hell .. me too trying to avoid many of my sins one by one.. itsall depends on intention . when u turn away from allah .. he will turn away from u..lower ur gaze ,its the only way to protect ur private parts.. it is little harder, but how harder will be for ur heart if u continues that evil glances.. i think u felt it before.. increase ur repentance MAY ALLAH GUIDE US and all the muslim ummah to jannah by forgiving our sins.. ..ameen. dream about the beauty of the heart u gonna have when u stay away from the sins ,which even the king wishes for ...

  6. salam though this is not the islamic way but its easy just start watching movies music, play games even console n slowly come to right path sirat e mustaqeem, start praying, n make good friends, then u wouldnt have time to go on porn sites

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