Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Force Marriage and Divorce

woman worried about her husband's behaviour

I am the Girl, 26 years, i have been forced to got married with the boy who like me. But i love another boy since 5 years and he also loves me. i discuss about him with my family but my mother did not agree. My father came and asked me that do you agree with this engagement? then in anger and i said "as you wish". Then my family think that i am agree with this marriage. they married me before 6 months. In this six months i never intimate with my so called husband because i dont like him. and still i am in contact with that guy to whom i love. we want to marry after i give Talaaq to my so called husband. Please guide me in the light of hadith and shariah.My life and his (to whom i love) has ruined. And that guy might be killed himself if i will not go back to him. please guide me. waiting for your quick reply...

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5 Responses »

  1. WRONG TITLE ! !

    You were not forced into marriage. Forced marriage is when someone doesn't have the free will to decide whether they want to get married to an individual or not, and that's what you call a forced marriage. Where as in your circumstance your foolishness behavior let you down.

    Your problem stems from your attitude .. Point .. Blank ,,, Period! When your father asked you about marriage why the hell was your response " as your wish" ?? This was the perfect time for you to be vocal about your feelings towards this marriage , but no, you let your attitude get the best of you.

    Why are you wasting the time and money of these men??? If you're planning on divorcing this man then don't get married for the sake of allah (swt) ! You are playing with the feelings of individuals and could possibly make things a lot more worse for them. Tell your parents straight up that you don't want to get married to these guys, and tell that coward of a boyfriend, to man the hell up and to propose to you.

  2. Stand up and say noo...and also engagement is haram! You have every right..theres notging wrong in this...Allah is first...

  3. Sister, you should have objected to the marriage BEFORE you got married. Were you to shy or afraid to speak up then, but you're not too shy to break your husband's heart by divorcing him for no valid reason? This plan of yours to divorce your husband and marry the boyfriend is a terrible plan.

    It would be better for you to accept your husband into your heart. Open your heart to him and allow yourself to love him. Have a good and normal marriage with him. Your ex must accept that you are now married. He has no business with you anymore. He should move on and find someone else.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Whether someone is happy or not in their marriage, content or miserable, they have no business carrying on with another person of the opposite sex. This behavior is against Islamic principles and will damage your relationship with the man you are married to, the relationship with your parents and possibly the relationship with the man you claim you are in love with.

    If you are married to someone yet love someone else and do nothing about it, that is an emotional conflict. This is not ingredients for a happy marriage. But having conversations and being in contact with another man is wrong. How would you feel if you discovered your husband did not love you and was still talking to a woman he did love. You would feel like a fool and be in despair. You would always be second guessing yourself. Do not do this to your husband. I would suggest you first stop all contact with the man you claim to love. Take some time to consider the marriage you already have, if your husband is a kind, responsible man who cares for you. Also, do Istikarah prayer to help guide you in whether you should pursue divorce. Maybe ask your husband to let you visit your parents where you can spend time away from him and see how you feel. You may learn that you do in fact care about him and may actually miss him.

    There is absolutely no guarantee the man you think you love will marry you when you are divorced and that you will be happy with him. Emotions can be very fleeting. Even men who have a totally different emotional makeup than women have made disastrous decisions because they thought they "were in love" and may have divorced one woman to marry another, or married a woman because they were fascinated with her beauty or status and failed to carefully consider actual compatibility. I would also advise you to keep your feelings to yourself until and if you are absolutely certain you want to be divorced.

    As other responders have stated, you were not forced in your marriage. You told your father you would do as he asked. You should have told your father the truth, that you did not care for the man who he approved of. You may have felt compelled to try to make your parents happy at the expense of your own happiness or to avoid disappointing your parents. As you know now, that was not a good idea.

    Marriage is not like buying a car or expensive item, or going to a university and then wanting to return the car or get a transfer to another school. Marriage involves human beings, families and reputations. Five or ten years from now few people will be affected if they traded in a car or received their education from a different school they started out in. You can even fail a class and take it over and get a good passing grade. But marriage is totally different. Being married and divorced has an impact on the lives of men and women.

    You are not a 14 year or even 18 year old girl. There is a possibility that although you claim to be 26, you lack the maturity of a married woman that age. Stop calling yourself a 26 year old girl. You are an adult woman. You should conduct yourself as an adult married woman. So start by being responsible and dutiful to Allah and end all contact with the man you claim you love. Explain that you are wrong to talk to him even though you care about him and that you have to figure out what you should do with your life and unless you are single you have no business talking to him. Think very, very carefully about the decisions you will make and how they will affect each and every person involved. But keep the sad details to yourself. If you decide not to get divorced it can ruin your relationship with the man you are currently married to, ruin the trust your husband may have in you and hurt him terribly. I wish you happiness in your life, but I also wish the man you are married to happiness too.

  5. Our beloved Prophet cursed such a women who does not want to intimate with hwr husband as well as there is no place in jannah because you are taking divorce without any reason. How could you even think that you can talk with someone you said that your hus love you be happy in your married life. Its completely haram to chat with opposite gender.May Allah give hidayat to you

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