Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I had an adult chat

I was a practising muslimah . Close to Allah and praying .
But then i found a man on internet , the informative discussion turned into friendliness , then flirt and closeness .

Then one night i was using internet for a long time . Chatted with him and then dont know how but i had an adult chat with him . After an hour i felt guily , dirt , angry . So i closed all accounts , i repented and continued with what i have been following and praying . One month later i again logged in due to bore and he was online and during talk he again started that . We didnt have any adult chat again , i didnt allow him . But i was tempted , just some alluring sentences .
Before it leads to further , i quit chatting .

But the problem is im attracted and im thinking about haram things , i want to keep my thoughts clean. Im loving that haram desires , im unable to stop desiring .


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7 Responses »

  1. Hi Samiyia please don't jump in such topics the best way is to avoid sins is marriage,,please go for marrige that's what Islam allow us to get marriage

  2. Think about the 100 cane strokes punishment hopefully that will stop you . And if you don't know how painful the punishment is for zina then ask a Freind or relative to give you a few strokes that will most certainly deter such behaviour

  3. Asalaamu Alaikum. To elaborate on what the others have suggested, marriage is A solution to remedy, a short term desire but it is not the solution to curb your desires of wanting what is haraam.

    Also fearing punishment of lashes isn't a good way to deter a person from this, as firstly, fear of dissapointing Allah should be paramount.

    Sister, busy yourself in your life. If you are a student; alongside your studies, adopt more devotional acts of worship. If you work, do the same, adopt more deovtional acs of worship. i.e., late at night, after isha, begin reading Quran and attempt to complete an entire reading over a month (or many months).

    - Before going to bed, switch off your phone and leave it in another room. Buy an alarm clock to assist you with waking instead of using a smart phone.
    - If a smart phone is allowing you to access sites where you are speaking to non-mahrams, switch to a non-smart phone. This may be hard at first but may save you from a lot of problems and hassle.
    - It sounds like you are attracted to foreplay and intimacy and longing for a relationship, in which case speak to your father or guardian and tell them that you want marriage and seek marriage to a brother of good character and avoid being in scenario's that lead to these temptations.
    - Make tawbah, aspire never to return back to it and remember Allah is At-Tawaab, Al-Ghafoor, Al-Ghafaar, The Accepter of Repentance, The Oft Forgiving, The Most Forgiving. Have Hope in His Mercy and Forgiveness. Anything less and that would belittle His Greatness.
    - Increase in salutations (salawaat) upon Rasool-Allah Sal-Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam.

    Remember life is a test, and four things are an enemy of the soul.
    1) Shaytaan, his and his deputies allurements.
    2) Hawaa; physical pleasures and desires.
    3) The Nafs (the Self); all desires of the ego.
    4) Dunya; and it's illusions.

    Make dua for protection against Shaytaan and your lowly desires and protection from being caught in the illusions of this life

    And Allah knows Best.

  4. sister marriage is a better solution

    • I want to ask u some thing i have fallen in love with my cousin i told him everything that i feel . He told me his past that he had sex 3 times in his life and other more thing and now he is feeling really guilty about him self and he promise me that he will never touched another girl again
      But now in these days i feel like i want to hug and kiss him but i know this is haram and i dont want this
      Please help me i love him alot

  5. Nice advice from Concerned Soul .In addition to that I would suggest you to study your innerself ,focus on controlling from small temptations to big .Study Psychology from Islamic perspective and get to know yourself,discover your weaknesses and strengths.When you will come to know about your weaker sides then start making it strong step by step,day by day by practical STOPS.

    May Allah Almighty grant you strength of a good muslima.

  6. Sister, you do not need to hate yourself.
    Consider this:
    Is sexuality not an integral part of being human? Is having desires - even sexual ones - not a natural, normal thing?
    Punishment has been described for unlawful sexual intercourse, not desires. Numerous Hadith deal with people seeking advice from the Prophet regarding their sexual desires, but I have never come over a hadith where he admonished them just because they openly admitted that they had sexual desires.
    See for example
    Sahih Muslim, The Book of Marriage English reference: Book 8, Hadith 3371 Arabic reference: Book 17, Hadith 3617
    Sunan Abu Dawud, Chapter: Marriage reference: Book 12, Hadith 110 English reference: Book 11, Hadith 2150 Arabic reference: Book 12, Hadith 2155

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