Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Im a teen and very depressed/suicidal/self-harmer

Im a sister teen, 13. I have tried finding the purpose of life but every day I wish I was dead. My parents cant understand me and they hate me because i self harm and very sad. They yell at me for it.  My parents went through a separation when I was 10 and I learned 2 months ago that my mom is cheating with my dad. In fact I saw this man when my mom and me and my sisters went to Egypt (without my dad) and he was our 'tour guide' when we were young. He was with us mostly every day and they talked while me and my sisters played. I saw them hold hands once. I dont understand why my mom would do this. She acts like she loves us but she doesnt.

I hate myself and everything in life. There is not one day I regret living. I really want to die, very greatly. Im beginning to despise my family.

I know I have an eating disorder. My parents know that too. I hate just getting up in the morning. I hate mirrors bce they remind me of me. I really want to die or die.

I was bullied in 5th grade and I met this boy that I love. He's muslim and he is the love my life. I stayed away from him and in 5th grade in the middle of the year I told him we cant be friends bce allah is against it. He was mean and insulting ever since. He called me ugly and fat along with his best friend also muslim.

I dont want to get married except with the guy i met in 5th grade. Mabey if I was with him i would feel happier.

I have vaped once and losing my faith quickly. Im weak and know i would make everybody a favor if i died.

I think if i die i would matter. i dont want to die bce of life's problems but bce I would be a burden for the rest of my life.

Dont tell me to be grateful, I am. But I hate everything. Do you know what its like to hate yourself 24/7 and crying to sleep because you'll be worthless.

Thank you. And Im sorry for bothering you.

Advertisements

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , ,

11 Responses »

  1. Salam.sister lets start over and renew your faith and intentions for the sake of Allah...The prophet Muhammad said renew your Iman (faith)by frequently saying KALIMA LA ELAHA ILLAL LAA.YOU ARE A SUNNI MUSLIM ..PURPOSE OF LIFE IS SIMPLE TO BELIEVE IN ALLAH AND HIS PROPHET MOHAMMED. THE FINAL OF ALL PROPHETS .WHO IS A GUIDE FOR THE HUMANKIND..HIS EXAMPLE AND ROLE MODEL IS THE HIGHEST STANDARD OF A HUMANBEING.NO ONE CAN BE COMPARED TO HIM OR COME CLOSE..ALLAH HIMSELF HAS SAID IN THE QURAN! ALLAH HAS CREATED TO WORSHIP HIM ALONE AND ADAPT THE ROLE MODEL OF MUHAMMAD TEACHINGS AND WAY OF LIFE...ALLAH HAS SAID THAT I CREATED MANKIND AND JINN ONLY TO TEST THEM IN THIS WORLD..SO SISTER WE ARE ALL TESTED IN THIS WORLD ..THE ONLY WAY TO GET THROUGH THIS WORLD IS OBEDIENCE TO ALLAH AND HIS MESSENGER MUHAMMAD .THIS MEANS PRAY 5 TIMES A DAY AND THE QURAN TO RECITE WILL GIVE YOU PEACE OF MIND CONFIDENCE PATIENCE LOVE AND A HATE FOR EVIL.AS MENTIONED IN THE HOLY QURAN BASICALLY TO SAY THAT THOSE WHO CHOOSE A LIFE OF FUN AND GAMES SIN..THEY WILL NEVER GET PEACE OF MIND AND THEY WILL LOSE BOTH THE WORLDS....SO LEARN AND UNDERSTAND AND REFER ONLY TO A SUNNI SCHOLOR. THE MOSQUE IS WERE YOU WILL FIND THE PATH TO SUCCESS.MOST ESTABLISHED MOSQUES WILL HAVE A SISTERS GROUP WERE THEY ARE INVOLVED HELPING POOR SITTING IN DEENI TALKS ETC.REMEBER SHAITAN WILL ALWAYS TRY TO PLAY WITH YOUR HEAD OR COME THROUGH OTHERS WITH WEAK FAITH..THATS WHY THE COMPANIONS WERE VERY CONSCIOUS OF ALLAH 24HRS .THERE IS A DUA FOR EVERYTHING!But just say bismillah before you begin anything òr enter doors

    .

    • Thank you. I feel better now. Its true that things get better, (mostly on my bipolar). I stopped all DRUGS and mostly tried not to harm anymore. Thank you. Srry for the last response (I forgot my username.)

  2. You are only 13 and have barely experienced life...don't you think you owe it to yourself to see what life has to offer? Most teenagers go through struggles, it's normal...don't fight them, just do what you can to deal with them.

    It sounds like you have a lot of bad habits, and lots of emotional issues. You should not harm yourself the way you do because of what your parents are doing. Focus on yourself, and on getting your life together. Write a list of your goals for your future, and then come up with a plan of how to reach your goals. it might help you to talk to your friends, a school counselor, or even a social worker who can all help you with directing you to the right path.

    Don't use your energy on feeling sorry for yourself and wishing for death...use your energy to learn how to love your life and bettering yourself.

  3. Salam Sister.

    Your story is very worrying and I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going though, first i pray Allah guides you through this difficult time as what seems to be the problem you describe is depression and mental illness. I hope that you will seek help for these issues sister as first you are muslim and do you actually think you will be ready meet your lord in the manner you describe. Suicide is haram and you must remove this from your mind and say bismiallah as soon as these horrible shaytan thoughts come to mind.

    Like the other person said you should see what life has to offer you, your a young girl, when i was 13 i was in a similar situation. My parents separated when i was 11 and i lived with my three other siblings with my mother who didn’t have much and had to do all the jobs while raising us whilst we all fought for her attention.

    I became a muslim when i was around 19 and i had not much knowledge about what purpose my life had prio. islam is rich in knowledge and full of guidance for mankind. Start at home seek help from your mum or someone you trust who won’t judge you and give you guidance.

    Your life is important which is why you are still breathing each day say alhamdulilah, I can tell you when i was 14 i got caught smoking and already feeling a void in my life i had similar throughts but take it from me my life has had many highs and lows and believe me today i am 31 and live a very nice comfortable life with my husband and three children alhamdulilah. May Allah bless you and help you in this time of difficulty, pray pray pray... make wuhdu when your having difficult thoughts, listen to quran or relaxing sounds. It all will help your sense of well-being.

    You will also have to seek help ideally professional help so that you may get better in addition to your acts of worship and well being.

    I honestly believe if you take these steps in sha allah you will see changes sister, no one has a perfect life, i can tell you ive been through a lot and seen others go through trials and experience hardship. Remember in times such as these Allah will want you to turn to him and he will never bare a soul with more than he can handle.

    I pray that you will take action today Ameen.

  4. I am going through a similar situation. I feel like I'm losing my faith,
    I can't be happy. I stopped reading the quran and I don't pray as much
    and I know I'm commiting a major sin for those. But I don't know what
    else to do. I feel like the longer I live the more prayers that are being missed
    and more sins that are being committed.

  5. I am going through a similar situation. I feel like I'm losing my faith,
    I can't be happy. I stopped reading the quran and I don't pray as much
    and I know I'm commiting a major sin for those. But I don't know what
    else to do. I feel like the longer I live the more prayers that are being missed
    and more sins that are being committed.

  6. I am going through a similar situation. I feel like I'm losing my faith,
    I can't be happy. I stopped reading the quran and I don't pray as much
    and I know I'm commiting a major sin for those. But I don't know what
    else to do. I feel like the longer I live the more prayers that are being missed
    and more sins that are being committed. I'm sturggling

  7. السلام عليكم ورحمه الله وبركاته

    Sweet heart, you're so young! Going through the teenage years will be one of the hardest part of your life. Your going through drastic changes, both mentally and physically. It's completely normal to feel overly-critical about yourself at this age. Depression is highly likely during one's teenage years. Who can blame you? The fact that you've come to this website seeking advice is so courageous, it's already a good sign.

    Don't blame your mother for her shortcomings. She may have issues in her life, but in the end, the most important thing is to see her happy. If you suspect that she's sinning, kindly remind her of Allah. If not, youre still a child, Allah wouldn't expect you to burden yourself with your mother's issues. She's an adult and can take care of those things herself, okay? Just don't blame yourself.

    I wish I could help you, but the best I can do is pray for you. Whenever you feel as though you're in a tough situation, go and pray. Remind yourself that there are others in much worse situations than yourself. Take example of kids your age or younger facing death, hunger and war.

    If they can be strong, so can you! We all can. Please reply to anyone one of the kind comments if you're struggling. I'm sure anyone here would be delighted to listen and help.

    • Thank you, brother. I feel better now. Ive joined with a girls thing at my Mas and im happier (not there yet, but inshallah ill get there.) I know I should make a post on this but I want to ask you: Would anybody marry or love a girl with scars? I just feel like if I ever get a husband, he'll hate me when he sees my scars. Thank you.

  8. We don't know situation turns when wo just faith on Allah.
    Be positive.
    You will get good life and life partner.
    Don't do hurry.
    Wait with patience.
    Control ur negativity.
    Many boys like me will search u to make u life partner

  9. Go onto YouTube and type in ruqyah audio... Usually an hour long, put your headphones on 100% volume if after 20-30 minutes you feel anger or left leg or left hand starts to shake involuntarily.... Then it's due to jinn possession, most likely done by your photo....

    All the best

Leave a Response