Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Invalid marriage?

I was in a sinful relationship with my boyfriend and became pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, he left me and I was too scared to tell my parents. I went to my boyfriend's mother and his family got us married secretly in the local mosque. My parents do not know I married and my walee was my husband's relative. I have repented countless times for my actions but my husband says he was forced in this marriage and he still does not care about me. He refuses to accept this marriage under any cost and still hangs out with other girls. Is this marriage valid? I lost the child due to miscarriage 2 weeks after nikah.

sisterinneed2017

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4 Responses »

  1. This is a mess. What were you thinking getting pregnant? Yes, I'm talking about your pregnancy as something you had power over and could have avoided - because you could have.
    And why did you agree to getting married to someone that obviously doesn't want you? And without your family's involvement at all? Basically, everything you are NOT supposed to do, you did. It's tragic and comical at the same time, in a way.

    Anyway, the way I see it, the validity of your marriage is the least of your worries. The best thing you can do - with you not being pregnant anymore - is to get a divorce, in my opinion. If you can, come clean to your parents about this so-called marriage of your's, but if you're fearful of their reaction and your safety, just keep it to yourself if you think you can hide it from everyone for the rest of your life.

    Oh, and please don't do something like this to yourself another time...

  2. May Allah forgive you for your transgressions. You are not the first woman who has compromised her virtue because she was in love. Do not hesitate to continue to make taubah and not get involved with men who want to be playboys.

    At this point in time, since your husband does not want the marriage, calmy speak with him about him divorcing you and giving you some kind of settlement so that you can move on with your life. Your marriage is valid. But now is the time for you end it. If your husband does not agree, you can always divorce him because of his unislamic conduct. Under those circumstances a woman does not even have to return her mahr since she has no obligation to a man who does disobeys Allah.

    You might want to also talk with your parents letting them know you were briefly married and are in the process of getting divorced. I believe you may have wanted to avoid doing this because your husband's family would expose your indiscretions to your parents. And you may not want your parents to know about that. In the event your parents already know, and they get involved it is less likely for your in-laws to take advantage of your circumstances.

    Either way, have your husband divorce you. Get far away from him and avoid men like him. He took advantage of you and is back at his old game, now actually committing adultery with some other woman/women.

  3. wael said once dont you dare laugh on anybody and now what she is doing she is being sarcastic

    "Oh, and please don't do something like this to yourself another time." DELETE HER COMMENT TOO OKIE and wael thinks ITS FINE WOW WHAT KIND OF JUSTICE IT IS. WAEL ALWAYS HATE MY COMMENTS AND FAVOURS OTHERS WHO ARE RUDE, ARROGANT AND FULL OF PROUD

    she is such an arrogant person when i replied her according to the language she speaks wael deleted my comment because of favoritism and personal views. wael may be you are on her side but we have our own views we cant change ourselves according to what you like.

    WAEL IS AN OPPRESSOR, AN UNJUST PERSON

    • sugar, I will always delete comments that are insulting or use bad words. I might not delete a comment just because of an "arrogant attitude". But name calling and insults cross the line.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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