Conservative Muslim wondering if non-muslim girls are suitable for marriage
Salam Alaykom,
I'm a Muslim guy, who comes from a country where conservative way of life and relations are really important, although I was not a conservative guy for most of my life (but I knew the value of the conservative Muslim way of life). Now, ironically, I live in a western country, and I am not the type of person obsessed with sex or night life, but I do have a lot of friends. Currently I don’t have girlfriend, but I had a few in the past, and I see how girls are being raised here, which is different than in my country. I see a lot of good girls, and even some of them are open to know more about other religions such as Islam. Even if they don’t know anything about Islam, they are as girls very good and I even like some of them sometimes.
Here comes my question: I always hold back because I know for a fact that they might have had a boyfriend in the past. I know that they have been raised differently. I need advice whether to accept or reject such girls, whether to accept a good girl who is loyal and a respectful person from the western point of view. On one side I am a Muslim boy who has not been raised in a conservative way but I like the conservative life; on the other side I see girls who are not conservative. Shall I accept them with the hope of changing the girl's "understandings" with the goal that she will lead a conservative, Islamic life, or, shall I reject them because they have done unaccepted things from the islamic perspective although they were not muslim??
Your feedback is really appreciated
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Salaam TOI.
First of all your main question is: are non-Muslim girls suitable for marriage. I want to point out that a Muslim man can marry a Muslim woman which is ideal. He is also allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish woman provided that they are good respectable women. He is not permitted to marry a woman from any other religion, including atheist.
Are they suitable? It depends on the girl. In general, it is not really recommended as it can cause problems later on. Many men marry Christian/Jewish women in their non -practising days. Years later they may begin practising Islam and finding the gap between them and their wives widen. There is also the issue of children. As a Muslim we have a duty to teach our children Islam. We cannot just teach them both and let them choose. This can also cause problems.
Shall I accept them with the hope of changing the girl's "understandings" with the goal that she will lead a conservative, Islamic life, or, shall I reject them because they have done unaccepted things from the islamic perspective although they were not muslim??
It is not a good idea at all to marry someone with the hope of changing them. Marry someone who you like for themselves, not someone you want to change. Its not about rejecting them for the bad they did. It is about protecting your deen from marrying someone who is not on the straight path.
Another point you said you have had girlfriends before. Conservative or not, it is wrong to have girlfriends. Do not take it lightly. Just because you do not have one now, doesnt mean you will not be accountable for your previous sins (unless you sincerely repented.) So acknowledge this sin, regret it, make the intention not to return to it (as in relationships), keep far away from it (do not have friendships with girls) and ask Allah to forgive you. Work to get closer to Him. Pray your salat if you do not already. Just start with Fardh only at the beginning.
I dont udnerstand what you mean by conservative. I get the impression you are trying to say you were not brought up in an Islamic way (As in practicing Islam or being highly moralistic) But you want a wife who is kind, pure and with morals. It is true that a pious, good Muslim wife is good but dont have double standards bro. If you want a good wife, turn yourself into a good husband and a good Muslim.
http://islamicsunrays.com/be-the-person-you-are-looking-for/
Work to reconnect to your deen and your creator. Pray your salat. Read Qur'an daily if you can, even just a little. Another point, if you do meet a girl who is intrested in Islam give her an English only Qur'an if you have one and direct her to a knowledgable sister who can help her or to the masjid.
If you are interested in marrying a girl, then approach her properly, never be alone with her and speak to her wali soon as.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
For me the Key of a suitable marriage it's on respect each other. I had a long relationship with a Saudi guy and we never had a problem about our belief, traditions, and religion, because we learn how to live with each other ways of living, and he shared my traditions or at least respect them, and I did the same as well. However, all is depends of the girl that you meet and how you see your future with her. My advice for experience, if you think that you are not able to have a serious relationship with a girl don't play with her, maybe you are just attracted for the way of living there and to see so many different things compared to your country.
Hi All,
I am a Hindu girl and I do love so much a Muslim guy. Now I somehow, started feeling to follow Jesus/Christianity. Though I am not practicing it fully or any other religion.
Now my biggest challenge is that personally that being in love with this Muslim boy, don't want to involve/marry any other guy on this Earth apart from him.
We didn't plan anything such but now indulge in so much true love and feelings. Deeper inside, we both (me and my best friend) knew that this is impossible for us to be together even with all efforts ( but we could not avoid falling in love) and if time will require, we will just obey the wish of our parents, will marry to someone else and will become so far from each other but practically, the thought itself is very painful.
Actually both of our parents won't get ready and I personally don't want to follow Islam too, no offense. Just now I believe in the power of single God running this Universe and our existence ( it could be controversial but this is between me and God).
Please share your thoughts on it.
Thanks !
You wish to worship the one true God, and you said you wont follow islam?. . . You left hindu religion because you realised its not the right religion of God, and now you want to fall into a path that would even lead you far astray from the real creator, God (called Allah in arabic)... Christianity is not the true path that would lead you to God... And if you follow it, am sorry but i have to tell you, you are going to deeply regret it in the hereafter (judgement day)... So i urge you to take a pause a search for the true religion that would lead you to paradise and save you from hell fire..
The only religion on earth that worship the one true God alone and without ascribing any partner to HIM is islam. Virtually all the other religions beleive in some human beings to be the God. you see, the hindus beleive in krishna to be God incarnate (ie God coming to the earth in human form)... The christians beleive in jesus to be God incarnate, the buddist beleive in buddah to be God incarnate etc.. The christians also beleives jesus to be begotten son of God and also has shear in divinity, also the jews (following the jewish religion) beleive in ezra to be the son of God.. The only religion that do not ascribe anybody or any son to God Almighty is Islam..
Am sorry if i hot you feelings, but the doctrine and beleifs of christianity is just based on falsehood.. They said jesus has died for the sins of the world. Can you imagine a God dieing ?? Who even killed this God? It was the fellow humans (jews) which he created that violently hand him on the cross... Look at every thing around you, the mansions of the stars, the moon, the sun, earth, heavens, humans, etc everyting is created by Allah. Do you think Almighty Allah would have to undergo this humiliation and punishment before he would forgive the sins of the world??? And when he was crucified, the helpless man was crying in great agonies and shouting in the hebrew language 'eli eli lama sabacthani' meaning 'my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'matthew27:46. Ok if truely he is God, then who is he crying to?
Also if you read matthew chapter 4, it was speaking about jesus and the temptation. Actually the chapter said satan took jesus from place to place. how can the devil carry God almighty? And if you read verse 8 and 9, it says the devil took jesus to the high mountain and show him all the world glories and kingdom, and he then told jesus 'all there things will i give you, if you fall down and worship me.' for goodness sake how can the devil even dare such an audacity with God???... No sister, jesus is not God and he is not the begotten son of God. Christianity is not the true religion of God.
The only religious book on the surface of the earth that has not been tainted, distorted and changed over time is the holy koran. The only religious scripture that do not contain contradictions is the holy koran. Let me give you one example out of the 1000s. the roman catholic church was the present oldest church in christianity and there bible contain 73 books. Later, the protestants protested, and they remove 7 books from the catholics bible and threw it away. And now the protestant bible contain 66 books. Who even gave them the authority to remove those books from what they are calling the book of God. There is only 2 explanation to this, its either the protestant realised that some men have fabricated some chapters and added there own desires into the bible, or the protestant intentionally distorted the bible without any proof.. Either way, the book is been currupted by the hand of men..
On the other hand, 1400yrs have elapsed and nothing is altered or changed in the holy koran. The koran we are having now is the exact same koran that was revealed to prophet muhammad 1400. History has made this clear and even the nonmuslims are testifying this. Check the encyclopedia brattanaca and see what the fair minded and unbiased christian historians are saying about the koran... I can keep on typing and typing on this.. But i thing i would halt here. And all i could tell you is research on islam. Dont rely on the false propaganda the media is spreading about islam. Also some muslim are misrepresenting islam to the nonmuslims. So they could not be relied upon in your research. The only role model you could use to judge islam is the man muhammad peace be upon him. And the source for guidance in islam is the koran and hadith.. Also feel free to ask any question you have about islam here. InshaAllah we would try our best to respond to you.
Mohd
If you really want to follow jesus then you should follow islam, because Jesus himself was a muslim. He worshiped the one true God and submited to HIS WILL. this is the meaning of islam and this is what muslims do. He preached islamic monothiesm to the people he was sent to, just like any other prophet and massanger of God did. .
You know, in islam, muslims beleive in jesus as one of the massangers of God. Muslims beleive he is the messiah/christ. We beleive he raised the dead by God permission, he healed those burn blind and the leapers by God permission and powers.. Muslims beleive jesus perform miracles by the permission of God just like
prophet moses perform miracles by the power of God (eg splitting the sea with his staff),
just like prophet muhammad performs miracles by the permission and powers of God (eg splitting the full moon into 2 half and making it to come down and settle on 2 huge mountains) {koran54:1, see also sahih al-bukhari, vol.6, hadith no.390},,
just like many other prophets and massangers perform miracles by the powers of God..
The muslims do not beleive jesus (or any other human being) to be God. The muslims do not beleive jesus (or any other human being) to be the begotten son of God.. The muslims do not beleive in trinity. The muslims do not associate/ascribe anything or anybody as partners to God Almighty..
May Allah open your heart to see the truth of islam.
Bro Mohd