Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Repented but still feel the guilt

advisory avoid zina

Assalamo Alikom,

About a year ago , I was dating a boy - we were both still in grade 8. Unfortunately we ended up kissing. But allhamdullilah we have never had any sexual intercourse or done Zina. He also put his hands over my breasts and backside. I allhamdullilah repented and feel much better now that me and him have gone our ways. But I still truly feel guilty. I haven't done any zina but i have a question are there any punishments to what i did .. Since I didn't have sex, I don't know. And also in the future when I marry should I tell my husband this? I'm allhamudillah now completely over this but I still always feel the guilt, but allhamudillah I have repented and will NEVER do this again.
jazakom allah khair


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17 Responses »

  1. Assalamualaikum Muslimah,

    It is good that you repented for the sin you committed. What you did was a great step towards the actual Zina. May Allah Save us from it and forgive us for such sins, minor and major. Aameen.

    But there is no point in carrying the guilt along, for your entire life, thus affecting your life negatively. Do not carry the baggage that your past and make yourself difficult to walk into the future. Make yourself lighter and walk with ease, learning from the Sunnah, and following what the Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam taught us through his Sahaabah Radiyallahu Anhum.

    The solution, or rather the expiation for the sin you committed is two rakaa'aat of Salatut Tawbah. Then cry to Allah and beg of Him to Forgive you. The proof for Salatut Tawbah is in the following Hadith from Sahih Muslim:

    It was narrated that `Abdullâh said: ``A man came to the Prophet ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ and said: ‘O Messenger of Allâh, I was intimate with a woman on the outskirts of Al-Madînah, and I did something with her that was less than intercourse. Here I am, judge me as you wish.' `Umar said to him: `Allâh had concealed you, why didn't you conceal yourself?' But the Prophet ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ did not answer. The man got up and left, then the Prophet ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ sent a man to call him back, and he recited this Verse to him: ``And perform As-Salât , at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e. small sins). That is a reminder (an advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice)''. A man among the people said: ‘O Prophet of Allâh, is it only for him?' He said: `No, it is for all the people.'''

    So, conceal your sin as the Sahabi Umar bin Khattab Radiyallahu Anhu advised and for the fact that you have asked, follow what our guide, the mercy for al Aalameen advised. Perform two raka'aat and seek Allah's Forgiveness. Afterall, this world is a temporary place. And Aakhirah is our destination, the final destination - either the Jannah or the Jahannam.

    Do not let yor sin affect your future, or the Aakhirah, but do Tawbah and hide it from everyone, because Allah Has Hidden it, as Umar Radiyallahu Anhu said.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  2. Sister no u should never tell anybody about that even ur closest one friends and other brothers said hide it...and ask allah for forgivenes... For the brother that wrote above to make female to stay at home i did not read anything like that at quran, putting female in jail is not saving from shaitan, but teaching a female quran and about allah and islam will save them from shaitan.
    From my past i can say if i could escape being home then i could have much better life in my past....

    thx hope u dont mind my brother

  3. Brother Abdula and others, I have deleted your comments because they were not on the subject intended by the poster, and would unnecessarily make this page a place of debate.

    Post a separate question in case you need an advise on something.

    Jazakumullahu Khair

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  4. salam brother. can i talk to u send me email or give me ur email. jazkALLLH

  5. Allhamdullilah, thank u all
    may allah forgive us all and grant us heaven. Ammen

    Again, jazzakom allah khair

  6. Assalam o Alaikum Sister,

    You say you have repented? Right? Repentance means "to return". You have turned back to Allah SWT,then why carry the guilt and destroy our present and the future life? Fine you did a sin,but remember, Repentance wipes the slate clean,the past is past,It's like it never happened.
    See these beautiful Ahadith on repentance,you'll feel much much and much lighter and better after reading these,

    On the authority of Hadrat Anas (may Allāh be pleased with him) who said: I heard Allāh's Prophetic Messenger (may Allāh's blessings and peace be upon him) say:

    Allāh the Almighty said: O Son of Ādam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Ādam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask for forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you; O son of Ādam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it. (Tirmidhī) (Hadīth Qudsī)

    “One who repents from sin is like the one who has not sinned..”

    See these Quranic verses,

    “And those who when they commit an indecency or do injustice to their souls remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their faults — and who forgives the faults but Allah, and (who) do not knowingly persist in what they have done. (As for) these — their reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and gardens beneath which rivers flow, to abide in them, and excellent is the reward of the labourers.”

    (Surah Âli- ‘Imran 3:135-136)

    And others have confessed their faults, they have mingled a good deed and an evil one; may be Allah will turn to them (mercifully); surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. Take alms out of their property, you would cleanse them and purify them thereby, and pray for them; surely your prayer is a relief to them; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing. Do they not know that Allah accepts repentance from His servants and takes the alms, and that Allah is the Oft-returning (to mercy), the Merciful? Surah at-Tawba 9:102-104

    And the two persons (man and woman) among you who commit illegal sexual intercourse, punish them both. And if they repent (promise Allah that they will never repeat, i.e. commit illegal sexual intercourse and other similar sins) and do righteous good deeds, leave them alone. Surely, Allah is Ever the One Who accepts REPENTANCE, (and He is) Most Merciful.
    Surah Nisa

    But whosoever repents after his crime and does righteous good deeds (by obeying Allah), then verily, Allah will pardon him (accept his REPENTANCE). Verily, Allah is Oft¬Forgiving, Most Merciful. Surah Maida"39

    Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." Surah Zumar

    Shaitan is trying to distract you from becoming good,he is putting you in so much guilt that you forget about Allah's mercy,and remember,Shaitan trys to despair u in Allah's mercy so u dnt repent and become a failure,please fight back and throw shaitan away.
    You should start ur life again by throwing away the negative thoughts and starting afresh with a pure new life,take this as a gift from Allah that you got a chance to repent before death comes upon you.
    Sister,Allah is very very merciful,you don't know how much forgiving He is. If we knew about that,we would continue sinning,but his wrath is very great too .
    But remember,When Allah created everything,He wrote at the end of his book That His mercy is prevailed over his wrath.
    Please refrain from all kinds of sins now and obey Allah by fulfilling all the religious duty and become a great Muslima,have peace,in ur heart soul n mind,dont worry 🙂
    May Allah help you fight the satan, Amen 🙂

    • Very nice comments sister, ma-sha-Allah. Now it's time to follow your own advice:

      "You should start ur life again by throwing away the negative thoughts and starting afresh with a pure new life..."

      Time to change your username to something more hopeful and positive, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

  7. Assalamo Alikom Sister,

    I truley thank you from the boottom of my heart jazzakom allah khaira and may Allah grant u with jannah.
    Ur response was very helpfull and i will take ur advise.

    Again thank you all very much

    And may Allah remmove all of our burdens from us and may we all be the winners on the day of judgment.

    Best regards

    Muslimah 12345

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