I want to convert to Islam and marry my Muslim girlfriend
From Darkness to Light
Hi,
I'm male, 17 and a non-practicing Christian. I have had two girlfriends both of who were Muslims (from different sectors) . I am also now aware these relationships are not allowed in Islam.
However, in both instances BOTH of the girls introduced me to Islam and tried to educate me. Because of the first girl I actually attended Mosque during Ramadhan of 2011. However this relationship ended ended in 2011 also.
The second one brought me to Islam once again. However, we had known each other for about 3 or 4 years then got into a pre-marital relationship at the start of this year and not too long after her parents found out about this. They ended the relationship and her dad came to speak to me and my mother about the situation, he came to realize after asking me questions that I wanted a future with his daughter and she wasn't just a way to 'pass' time.
Since then the haraam relationship has ended and our parents have been closely involved with us about marriage. It is pretty clear among our immediate families that we want to get married and they approve. We have had two meetings both with the parents present, (I've been introduced to her family) each where we exchanged gifts.
Now, everyone is happy for us to get married (once I revert to Islam) but I know we should not just get married JUST because we love each other, her parents should approve of me because of my deen. Which isn't very good right now because I'm not a Muslim. I want to improve my deen to the point where her parents approve of the marriage because of that, not just because we love each other.
I have been studying Islam interdependently via books (the girl provided me with some) and the internet i.e. "YouTube" and I spoke to a Sheikh about Islam at the Masjid. I want know your thoughts are and advice on what I should be doing now? We're both 17 and currently in college and we will be going to University hopefully.
P.S. I also genuinely want to revert to Islam to be a good Muslim and not just to get married. I've been intrested in Islam since the start of 2011 so I also want to know how I should feel when I think I'm ready to revert. This will, insha Allah, also be an inter-racial marriage so any advice on that would be grateful too (I am Jamaican and she is Pakistani but we're both born in the UK).
Finally our parents do not want us to get married until after university, so when we're 21/22 years old is ideal for them.
Thanks for any help,
ltd2
5 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Brother ltd2,
I appreciate your intention. I understand that you genuinely want to revert to Islam. For this reason, you need to believe in Allah as your Only God and Muhammad Peace be upon him as His Final Messenger, thats it for now.
Everything else could be adopted gradually, in order to learn the Deen in the best manner. If you start practicing everything at once, you will be confused and everything will be cluttered.
In order to have clarity, first profess the faith and officially revert to Islam, then start doing prayers 5 times a day. This is to begin with. After that, you can start doing other deeds that Muslims are supposed to do, when its time to do them.
No doubt, you sinned for having a relation before marriage. Seek Allah's Forgiveness. When you enter Islam, all your past sins will be forgiven, but for the girl, the sins need repentance.
If you have to wait until you are married, you better keep away from the girl, as it may lead to the sin of fornication without you realizing it.
You could use this time to learn the Deen. Some authentic websites to learn the Deen are:
http://www.islamhouse.com
http://abdurrahman.org
http://salaf-us-saalih.com/
http://muttaqun.com/
http://www.fatwa-online.com
http://www.fatwaislam.com
http://www.alifta.net/default.aspx
These are the websites I prefer the most. They will give you everything you need, to learn the Deen in the 5 years you have, and even later, in sha Allah.
If you need any help from our side, we are always ready for help, in sha Allah.
All the Best. May Allah Bless you and Guide you
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
My wife is Muslim and I am a non-practicing Christian, too. She wants me to convert to Islam but I have decided that I could never do that. The hopes of getting her to convert to Christianity are very slim, as she a pious Muslim. It does bother me that we are different like that, mostly because she refuses to acknowledge the Holocaust happened. She questions America's right to kill Osama bin Laden and the other terrorist the CIA killed in Yemen who grew up in New Mexico. All of this really troubles me deeply. Is it haram for Muslims to support the United States military? In sha Allah, you all can enlighten me.
paul, you must be joking. You've been writing vulgar comments insulting people (all of which I deleted), and now you want to be enlightened. I am shocked that any Muslim woman would marry someone like you. I figured you were some racist teenager. Very strange... I'll tell you something more important than what you are asking about. Be civil to people. Be respectful. Have some compassion.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Actually Paul, your marriage with that muslim woman was never valid in the sight of the Lord. You both are living an unlawful relationship. You both will be thrown to hell fire according to the Lord. Her piousness wouldn't benefit her in the least bit.
This might perhaps enlighten you,
Bible, Corinthians 6:14
"Do not be unequally yoked/bound with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? "
and the next moment you see your muslim partner, read her this, it may enlighten her too,
Qur'an, Al Baqarah 221
" Do not marry unbelieving men until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise. "
Paul, that muslim woman will never convert to christianity neither will you revert to Islam, therefore why dont you guys seperate ? Have you considered this option to attain some peace of mind ? Because one day she or you WILL go seperate ways guaranteed. Unless of course if the Lord of the worlds guide you to Islam.